Its now been about three months selling chocolates, and it has just been getting better with every passing day. I have started enjoying sales, what with your daily report card right in front of your eyes every evening.
Chasing numbers of different kinds – Value, volume, coverage, efficiency, productivity and then scheme related targets. These were the lower limit numbers – something that you have to reach. More famously known as TARGETS.
There is another type of number called SLAB, defining the upper limit you can reach. A scheme is always budgeted and under no circumstances is one supposed to exceed them.
After the long mad chase for these numbers called TARGET, I am left wondering what exactly would be the biography of this thing called “Target”.
My humble attempt in profiling this divine phenomena – TARGET. Lets listen to it from the devil’s mouth itself.
My Name is TARGET
Imaginary, Multiple, Worldwide
About Me
Birthday– 1st April/ Every month at some places/ Every week at some other places. As we go lower down the hierarchy I could also be born every single morning.
Location
Arbitrary documents, Excel Sheets, Bosses / Employee’s Brains
Relationship Status- Impossible.
Here for
Sadistic Pleasures, or the kick! The way you take me.
First thing you will notice
I am too far, ever!
Introduction
Hello everyone my name is TARGET.
I exist in various forms across the globe. The biggest bosses in companies and corporate create me to continue their reign. I am thrust upon their subordinates who in turn do the same. I am the source of power for superiors at every level.
I get split into parts when I am thrust down the food chain.
Biggest Boss (1) --> Bigger Boss (3, 4)--> Big Boss (a few)....-->Employee (too many)
(Employee is the last node with no subordinate)
If someone gets too close to me, I am given a boost by the immediate superior.
HaHaHa (sarcastic smile) and I get away again. Yeah sometimes, like it happened to Bharat Jhurani last time, getting too close to me before my expiry could also mean danger. Bharat got too close to me on the 25th itself, and thought he has done a great deal. His boss praises him, showers him with all accolades, and then stretches me, to make me elusive again. The next month onwards, Bharat Jhurani always gets a big version of me!
Family
There are some close relatives of mine who never show up if I am not present.
Namely promotion and raise are my loved cousins. We are so close that they do not go anywhere without me. But they are considered socially awkward by the evil “humor recourse” people. So these people try to keep me away so that my cousins automatically don’t show up.
About Me Again
I enjoy a lot during my life. I see people slog to get me…oh I am so desirable :)
But my lifespan is too short; whether someone gets me or not I will die soon.
And I even know when I will die.
My Favorite tagline
CATCH ME IF YOU CAN
Personal Advice
Do try to get me but don’t waste your life for me, coz I have multiple lives.
I will be born again with renewed strength and you will be the same, even more exhausted.
But what the heck I enjoy my life you too do :)
This is me – TARGET, and all the best catching up with me!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
perfect weekend - good end
I am sure by now you have all been following the story of the perfect weekend - I and II, and it is time now to announce the end of the wonderful weekend.
Continuing from the terrace, where me and P spent long hours extending well into the night, we get back.
Sunday morning. As usual we wake up pretty late, and we go out to the same small tea shop to have breakfast. She said she kinda likes the place after thronging the CCDs and the Brasitas of the world, that small shack really felt at home. More in India. Oh! I so like this girl. Se has no airs at all.
It typically happens, fresh into a relationship. You keep thinking and analysing different things. She likes this. She does not like this. With these small observations you would try making a mental picture of her inner mind.
After getting back home after breakfast, we plan to get away soon to catch up a movie. She had her train at 10PM. Damn!
But then we decide otherwise, and come to a common consensus (a rarity with the opposite gender) that the room is a better, more private place.
After spending lots of time doing nothing, but just staring at each other and talking random, we finally decide it is time to get ready if we want to watch the movie. We get ready and head straight to CP – my favourite hangout.
We reach CP right in time for the movie, and she agrees for Quick Gun Murugun after a lot of persuading. I like her. We have our lunch in the PVR itself. The movie was a laugh riot.
After the movie, I met Puneet on the road there walking out of castle 9. He was there with his friends. Me and P then head to Knights to have a late lunch, or rather early dinner. Beer it had to be. I love this girl. Come on, she loves beer!
We then get this crazy idea. My first proper meet with her was here at CP a week back, and we decide, “lets re-create it!”. Lets again go to the same places and relive those precious moments.
We then go to KFC to fill our stomachs with some actual food, rather than just beer and stuff. By the way, P also loves prawns and insisted for some at Knights. Wah! One more match. I am so much in love with this girl. Beer and Prawns, what better can one ask for?
After KFC, and she calling home and all, we also go to the CCD outlet. We were in no mood for a coffee, or anything for that matter. Also, it was already 9:15PM, and her train was about to depart in 45 minutes.
But then, we had to relive those moments. CCD is the place where we first met, and we had to go there. The same outlet. We have tea there, and run for an auto.
I drop her to the station, to send her off. That was an emotional send off. She was occupied with the reality that we would not be meeting for long now. She was going across the seven seas next week, and I would be leaving Delhi soon for my next stint.
I was more occupied thinking about my sleep. I had to go to office tomorrow. Her train starts moving, and I plant a kiss on her cheek and we hug each other. She leaves.
I manage to get back home in an autorickshaw. I reach home at about 11:15.
Well, 45 more minutes. The weekend is not yet over guys!
At home, Puneet is drinking with his friends – the same ones we met at CP. I join them, with some beer.
At about 11:45, we are done with all alcohol, and Abhinav too was back after the L reunion meet.
We all have a con call, and then i go to sleep. A very well spent weekend I was just thinking. And also, I have to sleep well, I have office tomorrow and it has to be a big day!
Puneet runs towards my room. “Dude, that guy is puking. What do we do of him?”
Ha ha! The room is all messed up and stinking, and no amount of AXE spray helps.
“yaar, tereko pata hoga ulti karne walo ko kaise handle karein”, puneet tells me.
“Make him eat a lemon, or some water. It get him hydrated”, I reply.
“Chill dude, just leave the guy. Let him extract the full out of his puke”, abhinav says with a definite assertiveness.
We all collectively agree that nothing much can be done. Let the other guy, who has no clue with the happenings, be there sleeping dead like he is on Pot.
The puking guy was left to his own peril. He was too heavy to be even budged from his own puke.
Puneet sleeps in the couch. TB is in my room, and the slosh guy is lost in his own puke!
Ha ha! Perfect ending to an amazing weekend! Looking for more!!!
This series of the perfect weekend was inspired by real people and real events, but to maintain the interest of the reader (you!) it has been converted to a work of pure fiction adding the necessary masala and curry wherever the tone went bland!
Continuing from the terrace, where me and P spent long hours extending well into the night, we get back.
Sunday morning. As usual we wake up pretty late, and we go out to the same small tea shop to have breakfast. She said she kinda likes the place after thronging the CCDs and the Brasitas of the world, that small shack really felt at home. More in India. Oh! I so like this girl. Se has no airs at all.
It typically happens, fresh into a relationship. You keep thinking and analysing different things. She likes this. She does not like this. With these small observations you would try making a mental picture of her inner mind.
After getting back home after breakfast, we plan to get away soon to catch up a movie. She had her train at 10PM. Damn!
But then we decide otherwise, and come to a common consensus (a rarity with the opposite gender) that the room is a better, more private place.
After spending lots of time doing nothing, but just staring at each other and talking random, we finally decide it is time to get ready if we want to watch the movie. We get ready and head straight to CP – my favourite hangout.
We reach CP right in time for the movie, and she agrees for Quick Gun Murugun after a lot of persuading. I like her. We have our lunch in the PVR itself. The movie was a laugh riot.
After the movie, I met Puneet on the road there walking out of castle 9. He was there with his friends. Me and P then head to Knights to have a late lunch, or rather early dinner. Beer it had to be. I love this girl. Come on, she loves beer!
We then get this crazy idea. My first proper meet with her was here at CP a week back, and we decide, “lets re-create it!”. Lets again go to the same places and relive those precious moments.
We then go to KFC to fill our stomachs with some actual food, rather than just beer and stuff. By the way, P also loves prawns and insisted for some at Knights. Wah! One more match. I am so much in love with this girl. Beer and Prawns, what better can one ask for?
After KFC, and she calling home and all, we also go to the CCD outlet. We were in no mood for a coffee, or anything for that matter. Also, it was already 9:15PM, and her train was about to depart in 45 minutes.
But then, we had to relive those moments. CCD is the place where we first met, and we had to go there. The same outlet. We have tea there, and run for an auto.
I drop her to the station, to send her off. That was an emotional send off. She was occupied with the reality that we would not be meeting for long now. She was going across the seven seas next week, and I would be leaving Delhi soon for my next stint.
I was more occupied thinking about my sleep. I had to go to office tomorrow. Her train starts moving, and I plant a kiss on her cheek and we hug each other. She leaves.
I manage to get back home in an autorickshaw. I reach home at about 11:15.
Well, 45 more minutes. The weekend is not yet over guys!
At home, Puneet is drinking with his friends – the same ones we met at CP. I join them, with some beer.
At about 11:45, we are done with all alcohol, and Abhinav too was back after the L reunion meet.
We all have a con call, and then i go to sleep. A very well spent weekend I was just thinking. And also, I have to sleep well, I have office tomorrow and it has to be a big day!
Puneet runs towards my room. “Dude, that guy is puking. What do we do of him?”
Ha ha! The room is all messed up and stinking, and no amount of AXE spray helps.
“yaar, tereko pata hoga ulti karne walo ko kaise handle karein”, puneet tells me.
“Make him eat a lemon, or some water. It get him hydrated”, I reply.
“Chill dude, just leave the guy. Let him extract the full out of his puke”, abhinav says with a definite assertiveness.
We all collectively agree that nothing much can be done. Let the other guy, who has no clue with the happenings, be there sleeping dead like he is on Pot.
The puking guy was left to his own peril. He was too heavy to be even budged from his own puke.
Puneet sleeps in the couch. TB is in my room, and the slosh guy is lost in his own puke!
Ha ha! Perfect ending to an amazing weekend! Looking for more!!!
This series of the perfect weekend was inspired by real people and real events, but to maintain the interest of the reader (you!) it has been converted to a work of pure fiction adding the necessary masala and curry wherever the tone went bland!
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