The BHARAT JHURANI Blog

MOVE ON

2010-10-19T12:17:00.000+05:30

Hello people,

it has been a wonderful journey here on blogger.com, and now i decided ( with so many other changes in life), that it is time this blog gets its own home.

This is a short message to everyone out there who have religiously been following me by email and rss subscriptions, to the present blogger page. I have now moved on to my own standalone domain, www.bharatjhurani.com and thus all the subsricptions have also moved along.

Really my mistake. I should have ensured that everything else also moves along like this, but well that technical challenge!!! Sorry! :)

Yes, but now what you can do is, to point all your current readers and email subscriptions to the new links:

1. RSS Feed for posts
2. Email Subscriptions

So power up that feedreader and plug in the new details.

With all these new developments, it would not be complete without having a presence on social Media. So, here is the FaceBook page, for the Sphere - within which everything lies.

FACEBOOK PAGE

Thank you so much, and welcome to the new home.

THE WEB NOW HAS A NEW IDENTITY - BRATOSPHERE

Bharat Jhurani

Moving to a new ( small) town

2010-09-21T23:11:00.001+05:30

The last post was about the bright future in the small towns, and the huge potential they carry. Here I would like to ramify about some things you SHOULD look while moving to a new city.

After shifting to hubli, and getting my stuff too transferred from Bangalore, the first thing I did was Unpack ( obviously). Set up my virgin house with whatever little I had, and head straight to Big Bazaar ( yes, hubli has one!) to fill up the rest of the house.

Although moving sucks, it doesn’t end when you finish unpacking the boxes, and getting more stuff then and there and unpacking it. Every body needs to find certain spots (and a few people) in a new city to make his own.

There are some things that one should always look down while moving to a new city.

BARS – These are the places you have the chance to network, hook up, set a date and in short do everything to start your social life. Alas! Hubli just has these shady bars, where you have the overgrown uncles and frustrated sales people, frustiyaying about their bosses. No chick around. But well, Networking is not all about finding chicks. Is it?

Food spots – As a bachelor, in spite of having a microwave and all the necessary amenities in the kitchen, you would never ever cook on time. Very important to eat a full satisfying meal atleast once in a day. Go find about all the good eating out places ( being Hubli, by all I don’t mean many!) and ensure your daily bread and cereals are taken care for.

Coffee house – While initially moving in, I did not expect a decent coffee place where I could hang out in the evening. Hubli surprisingly has a CCD( yes, they have managed to get a franchise even here). This is the place, where you need to go to get rid of your loneliness and in your quest to see some live people, and also to give rest to your Facebook and google talk account for some time. Accept it, humans do need live interaction with other humans. Not to talk about the prospects of hooking up with some one.( here I drift again!)

Impressing ladies place – You never know when you get lucky, or when you be able to score. So do find out about the existing parks and “local sight seeing places converted to lover’s parks” around your town. Even if you don’t find anyone like me, you can always go there to see other happy people and just dive into the beautiful memories you would have had till you were shifted here. ( yeah, CCD will get boring after a point of time!)

GYM – If you are lonely, staying alone in a big city, the Gym would be your only partner, and this applies to small towns too. Hubli has a talwalkars( yippee!!). This is the place where you start your not-so-social day.

Many other things I might have missed out, which I would keep updating you as I go through this exciting journey called “ Living in the fortune!”

Small towns

2010-09-20T22:58:00.001+05:30

After a lot of random posts, I think it is my moral duty to update you of my presence. I have recently ( last month) shifted to Hubli ( a small town in north Karnataka) and am operating from here, selling more and more candy.

This is the first time that I am actually living out of a small town, and in spite of all the disadvantages in terms of lack of exposure, people, company, hang out places, etc.. small towns have their own charm. TO begin with, your expenses go down drastically. Many other things like, getting to be in the heart of the country and trying to understand their aspirations and dreams from a close quarter, learning where the people like spending money, and ultimately what really drives them – drives the Indian economy.

After spending a little over a month, by actually living amidst such circumstances, my respect for the late C.K. Prahlad has gone up by notches, and I totally subscribe to the idea of Fortune at the bottom of the pyramid. The fortune is here, and the future growth of the country is going to be from here. No second thoughts about it. Any one who gets their small town strategy right, will crack it.

Demi God Stars of South india

2010-09-19T17:14:00.003+05:30

As such it is, there are a pretty many crazy things that happen in india, and there are a lot many takers for entertainment ( read movies). There is something very peculiar with the south indians, and the god level status accorded to the movie stars here.

The kind of feeling and respect that the south indians have on their stars is mind boggling, and the space movie stars occupy in the minds of people in the south is something truly out of this world.

Chiranjeevi is a God like figure in Andhra. So much that people die in the quest to get tickets for his movies. People have been so mesmerized by the actor, that the patronage now extends to his brother, nephew, son( all actors), and father in law( producer). I doubt, if the fan following will not be extended even to his dog, who might feature as the main cast in a forthcoming movie.

The Late Rajkumar or the late Vishnu Vardhan in Karnataka enjoy a similar status. I was in bangalore last december when Vishnu vardhan expired due to completely natural circumstances. In spite of the complete natural form of death, Bangalore, and the whole of karnataka was brought to stand still for a day to mourn for the actor. We need not dwell about the time when rajkumar was kidnapped by Veerappan.

Coming now to tamil nadu, and there is only one God here - RajiniKanth. His legend is long lived, and his fan following extends far east even to the funny looking japanese. He is creating waves presently in entire tamil land, with the release of his new movie - Endhiran ( Robot in Hindi). We have been hearing abou crazy stuff people dole out for their stars, and how a song is released before the whole cassette is released to capitalize on the craze.

Rajini has gone a step further. He has released the trailer of the movie in the theatres before the movie releasing.

WTF!!

FB Movie

2010-09-16T23:04:00.000+05:30

Just about a week back, i had spoken here about the movie on Facebook, and the general rise of the social networking behemoth called FACEBOOK.

Now i get to hear from ibnlive.in, about not one but two movies being made on the website. Now this is some achievement.

The Social network traces the birth and the coming of Facebook, Catfish is a documentary talking about what possibly could happen with the increased usage of FB.

Being a web enthusiast myself, these two movies come under my must-watch films this season. Would sure be an interesting watch.

Shall we dance?

2010-09-16T17:57:00.000+05:30

Dance is such a relieving way to let go of all the tensions in mind. I am no good dancer, but yes, to thomping music, i can't help but thump my feet - Dance.

Dance your blues away. Dancing is known to be one of the cheapest and most effective means to driving stress. This is one reason you would find most dancers, with a glowing face, seemingly happy.

From when i can remember, I get immense pleasure in dancing and as i have already said, i don't know dancing. well, don't know how to dance in the traditional dance way, like in a group. I dance for my self. I have no formal training and I am extremely shy, when it comes to dancing alone in front of people, well of course unless i am dead drunk.

infact, i once even tried learning dancing in the traditional format - Salsa, and enrolled myself for the salsa classes during MBA. Well, not to say, it was a complete disaster, and i just attended 2 classes learning how to shake my hips the right way.( There was no PROPER company, Chitta i'm sure you would agree)

While dancing, it feels as if some abstract thing is slowly taking away any charge, positive as well as negative, on my mind and leaves behind neutrality. ( Ah! lotsa gyaan!). There should be something called the art of dancing on the lines of the art of living, as a basic venting mechanism to let go of all the frustration.

The following picture has nothing to do with dance, but well.. for those who get it.

Dancing Tits

education in india

2010-09-11T11:52:00.000+05:30

well, after the heavy post of yesterday, the last thing that you would want is one more heavy article. OKay, i spare you of the torture, but this one is regarding something close to my heart - Education.

According to current estimates, 80% of all schools are government schools making the government the major provider of education. However, because of poor quality of public education, 27% of Indian children are privately educated. According to some research, private schools often provide superior results at a fraction of the unit cost of government schools. However, others have suggested that private schools fail to provide education to the poorest families, a selective being only a fifth of the schools and have in the past ignored Court orders for their regulation. In their favour, it has been pointed out that private schools cover the entire curriculum and offer extra-curricular activities such as science fairs, general knowledge, sports, music and drama. The pupil teacher ratios are much better in private schools (1:31 to 1:37 for government schools and more teachers in private schools are female. There is some disgreement over which system has better educated teachers. According to the latest DISE survey, the percentage of untrained teachers (paratechers) is 54.91% in private, compared to 44.88% in government schools and only 2.32% teachers in unaided schools receive inservice training compared to 43.44% for government schools. The competition in the school market is intense, yet most schools make profit.

Even the poorest often go to private schools despite the fact that government schools are free. A study found that 65% of schoolchildren in Hyderabad's slums attend private schools. Private schools are often operating illegally. It takes 14 different licenses from four different authorities to open a private school in New Delhi and could take years if done legally. However, operation of unrecognized schools has been made illegal under the Right to Children to Free and Compulsory Education Act which has also significantly simplified the process of obtaining recognition. ( source: wiki)

Now after this brief trivia about education in india, what do you think would happen? Indians are enterprising, and any given opportunity would be leapt upon immediately( is it more an act of desperation than a well thought out act? that is a matter of discussion for some other post). So, given the circumstances, it is but obvious that there would be any scrupulous entities operating, and risking the future generation.

Here is a picture of a school, advertising for admissions.

Now which parent, in proper senses, and slight knowledge would want their ward to study in a school named so?

p.s.: this is the first post, in the series of post to come of things that we usually come across in india.

POPULATION Everywhere

2010-09-10T12:50:00.000+05:30

July 11th, mark the day, is the World Population Day. It seeks to raise awareness of global population issues.

What do you think about this? Population is a good thing or bad?? The world over, it is generally believed that increase in population results in decrease of standard of living. True. You have one more person to share your resources.
it is is like I have Rs. 100/- and will divide equally amongst everyone.( Well, i know it is not a socialist society we live in). Now if the population is 100, each one gets Rs.1/-. great. If the population was 125 rather, each one would get Rs. .80. That is a good 20% less than what they were getting earlier. So, obviously on the outset it seems the increase in population is a bad thing. I get lesser to live.

What would you do? What would your reaction be? Would you dash out onto the streets excitedly, thanking God and start celebrating the arrival of an extra eighteen million people bringing with them long-awaited economic prosperity? Or would you go into some kind of a panic and perhaps start thinking of applying for a permanent residence in neighbouring Bangladesh?

In the mid-1970s, India was so worried about its explosive population growth that policemen and officials travelled to villages to sterilise men, who hid in sugar cane fields or climbed trees to avoid vasectomies.
School teachers, under pressure to meet family planning targets given to them by the government, forced fathers of their students to sterilise, before a public outcry drove authorities to abandon these desperate attempts.

Nearly three decades on, a new, non-coercive policy -- emphasising education of women and health care rather than demographic control -- has thrown up surprising results.

Population growth has slowed from four percent in the 1960s to about 1.7 percent now, fuelling hopes of stable growth by the middle of the century in a country with the world's second largest population at 1.1 billion people. (source:Financial Express)

Now i would like to believe optimistically that population growth could turn out to be a boon to the economy, one of the fastest growing in the world. Since half of India's population is younger than 25, it gives the country a potential edge over China, where an ageing population -- the result of a one-child policy – could slow its economy by 2030.

It is an advantage for India now because the country is entering the demographic dividend phase while China is exiting it.

Demographic dividend refers to a period -- usually 20 to 30 years -- when a greater proportion of people are working, which cuts spending on dependants, aiding economic growth.

Well, like all good things in life, there is a catch. Whether India can benefit from its young population will depend on economic development and equitable social development. Education will sure play a very important rule, and equitable growth from all corners would ensure benefit-ting the whole nation in general, rather than just increasing the rich-poor divide.

Don't get me wrong, i am a staunch supporter of capitalism, and survival of the fittest theory, what i am trying to emphatize is the importance of opportunities that should be given to the lower strata such that it becomes a level playing field.

Until now, the world blamed India for its huge population, but now it could envy it.

The above article was inspired from this ad, being shown in Delhi metro.

On an ending note, i would like to make clear, that the question about population growth and its relationship to economic growth and development has bedevilled economists for decades, if not centuries, and it is not a yes-no answer to it. And of-course, this phenomena, which i am considering a boon now, could turn into a bane in no time, if the growth from now on is not controlled, and the socio-economic divide just keeps increasing.

THE SOCIAL NETWORK

2010-09-08T13:15:00.000+05:30

"You don't get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies"

How true, and you don't get a movie made on you before turning 30, unless you have just done that. Enable 500 million users on your website.

how did facebook all start? On a fall night in 2003, Harvard undergrad and computer programming genius Mark Zuckerberg sits down at his computer and heatedly begins working on a new idea. In a fury of blogging and programming, what begins in his dorm room soon becomes a global social network and a revolution in communication. A mere six years and 500 million friends later, Mark Zuckerberg is the youngest billionaire in history... but for this entrepreneur, success leads to both personal and legal complications.

The Social Network

With facebook becoming such a phenomena in the world, it is but natural that there should be a movie made on it, and loads of books written on it, to encash on it even further.

The Social Network is an upcoming 2010 drama film about the founding of the social networking website Facebook. The film was written by Aaron Sorkin and adapted from Ben Mezrich's 2009 nonfiction book The Accidental Billionaires. None of the Facebook staff, including founder Mark Zuckerberg, will be involved with the project. One of the co-founders, Eduardo Saverin, was a consultant for Mezrich's book.( source: wiki)

Now this would be one must watch. waiting for it to release in the movies, this october 1st.

e-STALKING

2010-08-27T14:48:00.000+05:30

My last post on loneliness was received pretty well and before you start assuming things, let me make it very straight - I have a good sense of Observation! true story!

one particular line which received the maximum comments and brickbats was, "You still frequent the orkut/ FB profiles of your EXs"

Well, this is very very true, and 98.89% of the LOO affected junta do this. The remaining 1.11%( i did not use a calculator to calculate this!) have been deleted from the friends list, or more worse the account of the ex has itself been deleted ("I want to start a new life fresh ,without any hangovers!")

In this context, the ever innovating facebook should sure get this app on.

Akele hai.. to kya ghum hai??

2010-08-23T18:56:00.003+05:30

Okay, I accept I have been single for pretty much too long now, and there is this sense of duty, that I should write something about it.
Along with a score of other problems in life, and the many diseases in india, there is a very recent ( or was it there since ages?) one which has been inflicting young just passed B-school grads. It is called LOO.
No, it is not the disease of going to the loo again and again. That particular disease is called by some other sophisticated name, and will hit all the above TG surely but probably after the age of 40. The LOO that I am talking about is “Lack of opportunity”
This is due to the fact that the two years in campus puts in so much pressure and so much expectations, that you start feeling like God, and ignore the more important lesser things in life like Love. So you start ignoring your girl ( it is a very male centric post!), who was very much responsible for you being in the B-School in the first place. Don’t worry I would not be ranting about why one should not do this. There is simply no remedy.
This new disease affects primarily those who say yes to one or more of the written things( these are the symptoms):

A decent pay package and a big brand name behind them conditions them to think they are the most eligible singles existing on this planet and re-ignition of old flames will happen soon (statistics say 98% B-schoolers try and woo their old connections once they reach a self satisfying stature, financially). F%^#$er, forgot the way you treated her when she was all wooed by you.
You think its no time for flings because you are 25-26-27 and its time for shaadi.
Work has put you in Indore, Raipur, Bhopal, HUBLI where you can find no one who matches you ‘mental frequency’, and you spend the day matching waves with the wholesaler to sell one more box of candies!

What everyone fails to realize is how most of their batch mates would be feeling the same way. (Others just got married!)
Now what do such sick people do??

Arranged Marriage!!

Yes, the very institution that they were so against, now becomes the only resort. They are so bored of staying alone, earning decent money, having everything that money can buy but having nothing to spend on, that they surrender. The worst part is that that they don’t realize that they are desperate. It happens.. it happens when you’ve been single for too long.
This arranged marriage thingie takes some time to be executed, partly because the guy is still living in a small tinge of hope, and majorly because.. “ arrey yaar, aajkal acchi ladkiyan kahan milti hai!!”.
So, during this wait, as a medicine to this disease, you do the following.

Get drunk and bask in glory of those days when your (X) girl friend got jealous when you spoke to a firang who came to visit the campus for a few days as a part of exchange.
You still frequent the orkut/ FB profiles of your EXs
You see them green on gtalk, you think for a split second, ‘should I , should I not start the conversation?’
You sit in a coffee shop without company, you order a drink( has to be Black coffee, after love Aaj kal!) and start calling your friends.
You crib too much about work
You realize you haven’t refused a single party invitation in last 6 months (you definitely wanna get noticed, get hooked)
Before a train journey starts, you frantically hope that may someone interesting occupies the seat beside you. Check the chart outside the compartment for the required age and gender.
In a gathering you suddenly come up with the announcement, “I wanna go to the Himalayas, I need to spend some time with myself( or, I should just join a Buddhist camp and become a part time Monk, I need to discover my inner self.)”
Suddenly after reaching your hometown, you feel like a lost puppy coz no one else is single anymore!( you feel the same on FB too!!)

For all such people, who are now certified patients of LOO, i just have one thing to say.. "Akele hai.. to kya gum hai" ( paas mein Rum hai na!!!)
And as is in vogue, keep saying to anyone who asks the reason you are still single.. I HATE LUV STORY's

Contra Vs. Tetris

2010-07-01T21:27:00.000+05:30

May 1995, i remember. I was back from my maternal grandparents place, and i had got along a TV video game from delhi. It was much in in vogue, and i remember being the cynosure of all.

Some games that i in particular remember there - Super Mario, Contra, tetris, goonies. Well, why exactly am i raving about these right now??

Came across a very funny pic on the internet depicting the meet of two popular games of those times, and this got me thinking about those good olden days, where the normal catridge driven video games itself was a thing of awe. Where in this age of PS, XBOS, Nintendo's and all the high processor guzzling games do they stand?? no where!

Remember Contra - the game with two street warriors fighting it out in the jungle. and tetris - the brick game, which very welll could qualify as the most widely played game in all forms.

Now, look at this pic.

Graduate'd

2010-06-30T20:22:00.002+05:30

Tomorrow, 2nd july marks the completion of my one year. This one year has been a rollicking time, travelling across the country, meeting numerous people, doing things I never ever thought of, and as they say, getting into the corporate groove.

Last week I was in Mumbai, for my graduation party (yes! After post graduating!). The new batch was there with the same dreamy scared curious eyes, the older batch (ME!!) trying to show off Who is the boss? N everyone else more or less the same. This got me thinking. One year has passed, how fast time passes away. It has been 12 months that I have been receiving this pay cheque in my bank account – month on month. That is a good long time for introspection.

It has been on roller coaster ride right from the day go. Right from the outbound training in garudamaachi to the present ASM stint handling north karnataka has been one helluva ride.

The travel across the country along with fellow management trainees, each one stud in their own league. Going around, right from the southernmost Kerala to see the cocoa plantations to the Himachal to see the factory and CSR. Getting to know my batchmates even more better in the process and making friends for life. Who had thought that these would be the people I would talking to and cribbing to on a daily basis?

The first stint in Delhi metro. Whoa! I was the cynosure of all eyes. People generally get random far off obscure places in their initial years and here I was in DELHI metro – the capital of the country for my first sales stint. Those four months in delhi just went on like a whiff. Staying with Abhinav, thivahar, preteesh and Sashi in the south delhi house, trying to adjust to live out of campus and fit in into the corporate life. (yeah! Puneet I am not forgetting you!) Those wonderful all night chats and weekends with that someone special! It all seems like a beautiful dream now.

Then in November just as the winters started kicking in delhi, I was parceled of to Chennai. Yes, my next stint was scheduled in Bangalore( once more Metro! I must really be lucky!). Bangalore metro with its young crowd and happening life was simply amazing. Friends here, and hanging out and doing crazy stuff which I had never ever thought off( Remember Ahen, the bus ride to the airport!) and the wonderful climate here just mesmerizes ones senses.

Now after one month in Bangalore, any one would fall in love with it and this thought that I was just training here was sure killing me. I will soon have to leave this place to take over some territory. Which territory would it be? Where would I based out of for the next two years? How would my career shape up? All these thoughts just took over my entire mind, until that one fine night in Chennai.

“Congratulations. Welcome to the South branch. You would now be handling North karnataka”, I still remember those words. My joy knew no bounds. I am not too sure if it was more for the posting being announced? Or was it that I would be based out of Bangalore? Or was it the challenging territory I was given? well, a mix of all i would say!

It is all still very fresh in my mind, that chat I had with Ahen that night from the hotel room in Chennai. The yellow smiley ball really proved to be lucky huh!

From then on, it has been no looking back. It has been six months that I have been posted, and now “graduated”, it has been, to say the least, a fun ride. Hoping for more!

And yes, it felt good to be graduating once again!!!

Post it

2010-06-28T18:55:00.000+05:30

Well, already posted. now what??? :)

i am sure we have all seen those tiny sheets of colourful paper on everybody's desk, with some crap written on it.

Post it notes, as we know are those yellow cute looking small pages that are stuck all around the office desk just to prove that the owner of the desk actually works very hard.

Wiki defines it thus, “A Post-it note is a piece of stationery with a re-adherable strip of adhesive on the back, designed for temporarily attaching notes to documents and other surfaces.”. Ah! Just a small iece of yellow paper, having one small side with adhesives.

Of late, the use of post it notes has increased from its normal usage. We use it for different things, to do different activities, and we even use it online. Some of the funny things possible with the innocent loking, un suspicious post it notes :

1. Use sticky notes to leave messages on a door - do not do this at home if you have security problems.
2. Use them as temporary design elements that can be moved around.
3. Add a sticky note to food items to let people know any number of things, such as date of use, who the food is for, what the ingredients are, and so on.
4. wanna quit staring at the chic opposite desk - use these notes. no!! not for ciggarettes!
5. Dress up in sticky notes
6. keep a small flame going – Burn them all!!!
7. Make a small cheap book – Are they free in office??
8. Make clothes for your pencils and pens
9. Put small sticky parts on your eyelids and blink your eyes – Aankh Maaro!!!
10. and ofcourse, you can use them the way they are supposed to be used! To write reminders, dumb!!

I was recently at a friends place, and saw the complete use of these small tiny papers. This guy has quit his job, and to top it has recently got married. His sticky note read:
1. Make a LIST. ( ticked)
2. cross off item number 1. ( ticked again)
3.
4. think of the third point to write
5. surf the net( tick, tick tick…..)
6. tell wifey “ sent 10 resumes!!!”

One thing where these post it notes also help is to spy. Want to know what your colleague is upto? Have a sneak peek into his trash bin and read all the torn out notes.

Want to appear doing, or planning to do a lot of things? Post it all, on these sticky notes and not on twitter!!!

Well, where did I get this awesome idea of writing a post on post it notes ( pun!! Yeah yeah!!). Again, at a friends place, where she had written quite important things on this yellow paper, and left it in open for the prying eyes. Her note:
1. Take medicine
2. eat rusk
3. buy a washing machine
4. use the washing machine
5. buy an iron box
6. use the iron box everyday
7. eat breakfast everyday!
8. things I can’t talk about on this blog!!!

Well, I just remembered something, let me write it down the notes lest I forget it.

p.s.: note on the note: “Smoke!”

My Life - Air India Chairman!!!

2010-05-27T14:32:00.001+05:30

“Govt crushes AI strike; 17 union men sacked, several suspended”

This is the news headline in the TOI, and that set me thinking. Can Air India ever get out of its perennial problems? Maybe privatization is the key, maybe restructuring is the key. Or maybe, plain shutting it down is what would help it from making further losses.

Anyways, this post is not on air india, and I m not trying to give a bail out plan to get back air india in its days of glory. This post is about Arvind Jadhav – the man at the helm of affairs at the distressed airline, chairman of air india.

Getting to be the top guy at an airline steeped in losses, neck deep in debt, under the intense scrutiny of the media and dreaded by customers is not really a job everyone would ask for. But here, we have this one guy who is braving it all, and trying to bring some positive change.( true, it is not easy to handle the pressures in a messed up atmosphere)

Along with the existing set of problems, He also has to deal with recalcitrant unions, employees who are not too happy with him, and an excess of bureaucratic red tape. The day he took over he found a balance sheet in tatters, a declining market share, poor loads, poor on-time performance, business-class seats occupied only by the airline’s own staff and their families, aircraft flying to routes that do not make money and not flying to routes where everyone else seems to be making money. In other words, a “typical” public-sector organisation that was spiralling down towards a debt trap. Its net worth is slowly, but surely, getting eroded. To add to this, he found an “organisation where people felt nothing has gone wrong” and “that they were doing their best" ( How much true. This is the same that happens in any area where defeats have become the norm of the day!!!)

Okay, now why exactly am I talking about this guy in THE BHARAT JHURANI BLOG? This blog is no news article. Well, there is a strong connection.

Post merger with Indian airlines, the worries have only doubled.( nor did the demerger here in my own situation, help!!!)

To say that this guy has a lousy job is putting things mildly. The airline has accumulated losses of Rs 7,200 crore and is bleeding Rs 300 crore a month. The organisation’s structure is massive and unwieldy because of the incomplete merger between AI and Indian Airlines — there are two sets of managers for practically every position and nothing is shared. Its staff strength is roughly three times what an airline of its size should have. It has strongly entrenched unions who oppose tooth and nail any effort to cut costs. It has a terrible reputation for service and an even worse one for on-time arrival and departure. It has an ageing fleet and working capital loans in excess of Rs 15,000 crore. And it has ordered 111 aircraft for over Rs 40,000 crore, which it cannot pay. ( If your infra itself is not right, there is little you can do to show results. the basics should be in place for you to perform!)

That is not the worst. Being government-owned, AI has to contend with requests from politicians and bureaucrats — requests that it cannot refuse. More importantly, political considerations play a role greater than economic logic when any strategic decision is taken.( Interference for personal gains, and short term wins for some)

When Jadhav took charge last year, he started off with a fair amount of goodwill. He was seen as a competent, sensible and proactive bureaucrat with “fire in his belly” who would understand the underlying problems of the airline and take the correct steps.( Seriously!! that was the reason!!!

Unfortunately, Jadhav managed to alienate practically the entire staff of the organisation shortly after taking charge. He publicly lashed out at the work culture, at the sloppiness at every level of management, and the general lack of energy and ability among his staff who he felt were too pampered and overpaid.(Well, did not get much chance to do this. but yes, everyone is now on their heels and little should you care if they like you!!!)

Jadhav also pointed out that he was saddled with 32,000 people when he needed no more than 12,000 or so. There are many in the aviation ministry and outside who think he is not wrong. ( Works even more against if the opposite was the case. imagine working with 25% of vacant positions at any point of time!!!)

Jadhav’s personality has played no small role in his plummeting popularity ratings. The man tends to tell it like it is; can be perceived as abrasive; does not trust anyone easily; and can be obstinate. He was a shock for the AI workforce, which was used to considerably more placid bosses. (That is a good trait of an effective leader. only if things were happening like the way they ideally should, these same characteristics would have been the talk for his success)

The main criticism that Jadhav’s detractors level against him is that he has “not done enough”. Although the minister claimed in Parliament that things had improved , there is reluctance to give any credit for AI’s marginally improved performance to Jadhav. “The committee of secretaries (CoS) and the Cabinet have been seeking a recovery plan. But Mr Jadhav has failed to produce one so far,” says a senior ministry official. He says that Jadhav has been running around like a “headless chicken”, one day to the east and one day to the west. “He makes presentations, but they yield no result,” he says. They claim that marginal changes in the airline’s performance are at best a drop in the ocean and that the CMD is not at “grips with the situation”.( Oh My God, is this like the standard response everyone in such a situation gets?? " you are not on top of things". The improved aspects are seen as happening naturally. great!! So, why am i here??)

Well, for those who know me, and have been interacting with on a personal basis for the last couple of months sure would understand the connection between this article, connection between this man and me!!!

FRUSTRATED

2010-05-08T09:17:00.000+05:30

Behne de.. mujhe behne de…

Sitting in the more than delayed train at some random station, and just waiting for it to move. These songs seem to be the only respite. I have plans. I want to be there. I want to go there and have fun, river rafting, kay kaying, rappling. Now that would be adventure. But thanks to Indian railways I am here in this damn hole called the bogie, in a small berth trying to fit in my legs.

Like everything else in life, here I am frustrated with two things. As economists would call it: a micro and a macro reason.

Let us first start with the macro reason – The Indian Railways. Can it never improve? Do we Indians not deserve punctuality in time? Are we not privileged enough to be asking for such basic necessities? Why, even after 150 years of operation, the operations part of the Indian railways is still a farce?

Thinking about it, it has little to do with the Indian railways in particular. It is the Indian government. Anything that the government puts its murky hands into, turns into crap. The Indian railways network is the largest in the world, and it also boasts of the largest employer in the world. Why not? There are so many of them who I am sure just sit at home, and draw their salaries.

Totally dejected I am, and not without any reason. I really used to like that dialogue from RDB – “ koi bhi desh perfect nahi hota, use perfect banana hota hai..”, but in the case of india, till this kind of government machinery exists, till the railways is just one big lucrative ministerial portfolio, till people are just interested in buying votes, and then making money out of the electoral process like a business, nothing is going to improve.

Seeing things like this, one rather starts believeing in, “you can’t beat them join them!”. Unfortunately that is what has been happening across the years in india, and nothing much has changed. Nothing.

Now coming to the micro reason of my present frustration here in this cramped berth. I hate side seats in the Indian trains. what average height of the Indian was assumed in making this. Indians are sure not this short.

Zindagi.. do pal ki.. intezaar kab tak.. hum karenge bhala.. ( playing on my winamp)

I was supposed to be there on the way to the resort to trek, raft, rapple, and do a host lot of other crazy things. I hate it. Why am I here? The Indian rail to blame, but more than that, why am I travelling on a Saturday morning? Why have I not retired on Friday evening itself for the weekend? I could have taken a flight yesterday evening, and slept comfortably at home.

No one to blame here, except me. People have told me, take a break. Have a life. There is something called work life balance. But I guess then I need to correct things out there. I need to do that extra thing to ensure things are done in my way. I am just behaving like a pure plain crazy workaholic. Am I really one? I am not too sure.

More than six months and have not been home, and have promised myself that I would not till I achieve my goals. I have not realy freaked out much in the last four months after taking over, I will not till everything is set.

My room has the poster, “I CAN REPAIR ALMOST EVERYTHING”, and I will repair it. But then dude, have a life!!! Huh! This is not the first time I am hearing this, and I have never ever felt bad working on weekends, working late into the nights, doing all the crazy travel, but then this time it has spoiled my plans. It has screwed my plans of doing something that I love.

Chill, big deal. I just enquired it would take another two hours to reach Bangalore. Two more hours. It is already two hours late, and two more hours. Perfect. Could not have asked for more. Why am I frustrated? Why? Damn!

For a journey which takes 8 hours, the train is delayed by four hours. Awesome. 50% more time to cover the distance. The driver was fucking drinking and sleeping around the night. Bas%&^.

Was just talking to mom the other day, and she was reminding me of my hatredness towards railways and was asking the reason why I was travelling on rail. I am an idiot (and not the aamir khan types!), that is why.

HATE IT!!!!

Oh girl you're mine... oh girl you're mine!!!!!

All good things come to an end

2010-04-06T19:52:00.000+05:30

okay, one more month got added to the list. Funny. Just in feb i had rued about the fact that i had not blogged for those two monhts, and had made a mental resolve that i would blog regularly. But guess, the work toll took away too much of time. Not too sure if that would change any soon. "targets nahi ho rahe bhai!"

if professional life was not screwed enough, personal life too is not going any great guns. Everything seems so complicated, so confusing.

even now, don't have the luxury to write a post in detail ( i so much want to!), but wanted to post the lyrics of a song that have been listening of late.

"All Good Things (Come To An End)"

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

[Chorus:]
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

~ nelly furtado

My fav lines in the song.. the chorus
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
SO TRUE.

Those Two Months

2010-02-07T12:06:00.001+05:30

This blog has existed for about 4 and a half years now, and I have been loyal to some extent to it. Yes, there have been these flirting moments, and those close calls, when I wanted to call it quits, but the overall love towards it kept me going.

Now this is not a girl that I should get so attracted to and keep raving about it(in case of girls, it is more out of compulsion and less due to the inherent want though!). The blog has indeed been a good companion, and has seen me through my ups and lows, and has now become a very integral part of me, my identity, my.. my.. . Okay! no melodrama here.

Sometimes, this makes me wonder, why do I actually blog?

We write to record our thoughts, true! The other reasons that I could convince myself are:

1. Makes me a better thinker (yeah! Socrates in the making!)

2. Makes me a better writer (obviously!)

3. Develops a voice within myself, which is consistent and natural
.
.
.
Ah bull..! I just write for fun! Coz, I enjoy writing and nothing else.

Do I never get these writer’s block? Obviously I do!

Sure, there were times when I was completely stuck, and did not know what to write, though somewhere deep inside I did want to write. In such times, I just walked out of the house, go to the beach ( in vizag), and start listening and eavesdropping on people. Random arbit people, that you would find in hoardes everywhere. It would then become that person’s story, and the keyboard kept clicking.

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.- ~ Steve martin

I realize that I have written atleast one post every single month since I started this blog. Every single month! Except for two months – Dec’06, and Nov’09.

I think I know the reason why this happened. Why these two months got singled out? What exactly happened during these two months?

December 2006

I was in my final year of engineering, and was living life kingsize. I had everything I always wanted, everything that any college goer would wish. CAT was going good, AIESEC was loads of fun, College was exciting and I was doing pretty decently there, I was on the verge of having a girlfriend,etc.. what better could one ask for?

CAT was done in November, and all the Sundays of December were scheduled in my diary with appointments with other exams – IIFT, XAT, SNAP, JMET, and what not!

With so much happening, I think there was little time left for any blogging. There was no time to actually sleep. Nah! I was not studying.

I remember this one exam – JMET. It was on the 10th of December, Sunday. Just two weeks before this, in the last week of november, I was crowned the organising committee president for a local conference of AIESEC, scheduled to happen on 9th and 10th December. Great! How do I manage this?

“Oh! Come on, I am striving to be a manager. This is the real test!. Multitasking”, I tried convincing myself.

All of December first week was spent in getting sponsorships, ensuring all logistical arrangements are in place, everyone is invited properly, etc.. the whole day, starting from 7 something in the morning with a team meet and a smoke at the beach to late midnight, I was caught up organising this.

Saturday, 9th December morning, everything was set, and i was in the hotel (venue of the conference) right at 8AM, to ensure last minute settings are done properly. The show went on all day, and the evening ( well late night!) parties also went on smoothly.

I was awake till 5:30AM in the morning, ensuring everything is going proper in the party, and there were no untoward events. Then also handling disputing couples who were booked in the same room, but now wanted separate rooms after their quarrel ( how would they end up if they get married?), helping puking people to get more comfortable, more so if the puking person is Asthmatic. This went on till 7 in the morning, and then I realize I have an exam at 10AM.

I rush home, asking my team members to take care, and assigning one person the power of attorney to take decisions for the morning.

I reached home with a shabby tattered look on my face, got freshened up, had breakfast and zoomed to the exam center. I looked like I had just woken up from sleep and walked through. I told my friends of the amount of alcohol within my body, that has been urging to vomit out since morning.

I somehow sat through the paper for two hours, and my sense of duty towards the conference ( or call it lack of trust in my team!) was so high, that Immediately after the exam I zoomed to the hotel, and it went on again like the previous night, right up till monday morning.

These two days were an example of the kind of fast paced of life, I was lucky to experience in december’06, and thus my reason for not writing a single post.

Ah! Well, before you start guessing, I got an AIR of 252 in JMET.

November’2009

This is the second such month, which went without a single post. I was in delhi in November having my Sales officer stint.

The last three months had been strenuous and quite eventful. My first actual exposure to the corporate world, to the world of FMCG, to the world of selling. Yes, I was a salesman! Ah! Well, a sales officer handling the central part of Delhi.

November was my review time, and I was badly rogered in my first review that happened on 26th October (yes, I do remember the date!).

Right from then, I was bent on proving a point and prepared hard for nights together trying to memorize everything that could be asked in the review. (it was scheduled to happen in the first week of November).

Ensuring that no stone is left unturned, I actually memorised everything. How many grams is each unit of every sku? what is the case configuration? how many sku’s in each outer?, what is the price of a single piece? of an outer? of a case? What is the retailer margin? distributor margin? the invoicing details, various placement programs, the details of each one of them, how many such outlets exist in delhi, how many in my area, which ones? Everything.

The next thing, I would start memorizing was the actual sku wise sale of each outlets of the 3500 odd outlets in my territory.!

Well, as luck would have it, my review did not happen in november first week. I rather went to jim Corbett national park with the delhi team. After the trip, when I was very much expecting my review to happen, I was instead sentenced off to meerut, UP for a week.

“I want you to butcher the RD there”, were the words directed to me!

I did not have an option, and taking it in the right stride went on. After two days in meerut, I was again called back for the branch review, within two days of my stay there in meerut.

I now expected my review to happen. It was already the second week of November and my next stint details had come. I attended the two day review, then the launch of a new product, and then on the subsequent Monday when I went to office (very hopeful that I would be reviewed today!), I was sentenced back to meerut.

“two days is too less. Go there for one more week!”, I was told.

“Yes Sir”, and I marched directly to meet Nisha in the evening and from there directly to meerut without any luggage whatsoever.

Here I need to thank Nisha for being there during those difficult days, which could have been a lot more depressing if not for her.

Stayed in meerut for the whole week, and started back on Saturday reaching delhi late night.

On Monday, again expecting the review to happen now that the vanvaas ( exile) of meerut is done, I was completely ready. Well, life cannot be all that simple. The review has further been postponed indefinitely, due to some urgencies!

I was free on tue and wed, as the review would now only happen on 26th, Thursday at the earliest. I went back to meerut, having nothing better to do here in Delhi. Met Nisha on Tuesday, and went back to meerut that evening, only to come back on Wednesday afternoon itself. I would rather prefer spending time with Nisha here in Dlehi, than whine there alone in meerut!

26th November, Thursday
I headed out to office, and this time not so hopeful that there would be a review. I spent the morning, again in the waiting room, cribbing about life in general. At about 2:30PM, finally after the long wait, I was called in for the elusive review. It went well, and it had to after all those nights of preparations.

27th morning, I took a flight to Chennai to meet people here in the south branch. Little did I then know, that this is the branch that I would eventually get posted to. I was in Chennai on Friday and Saturday, and then early Sunday morning, took a flight to Mumbai to attend some training program there.

Flew down to Bangalore on Tuesday evening, dec 1st, finally reporting to my next stint. ASM Shadow stint.

There, thus the whole month of November was filled with utmost depression, and despair, and yeah! I forgot to mention this – I even had a small argument with P, which turned out to be a big one leading to eventualities.

Novemeber 2009 was BAD! Now, how could i have blogged?

3 idiots learning

2010-01-20T21:38:00.000+05:30

“yeh jo dil hai na.. bada darpok hai. isko bevkoof bana ke rakho.. life mein jitni bhi problem ho.. isko bolo "koi baat nahi chachu.. sab kuch theek thaak hai. ALL IZZ WELL. ALL IZZ WELL"

How true? Jus keep uttering this to yourself, that everything is fine, and there you get a big boost of confidence to tackle any problem. My dad always says, “There is no problem that big that it cannot be tackled. It is only the mental roadblock to believe that it can be tackled that is big!” Again, how true?

Well, the dialogue is from the movie – 3 idiots, and truly as Uma Sir says, What a movie it was? More than the entertainment value the subtle message that is delivered speaks volumes, and hopefully will awake people. This post is dedicated to him, for his motivation to write something on this front!

The movie's theme is highly inspiring and thought provoking even while it takes a dig at the current educational system with all its latent flaws and seriously questions the very relevance of societal whims which eat away into a budding student's mind that the end of education is a high profile job, wealth, fame, name et al., making them deprived of the opportunity to set their vision on something where their heart and soul lies! .. ~ Uma Shankar

The book “five point someone” I am sure I read by more or less all of us, and this movie is a loose adaptation of the same. (no matter what Raju or vidhu say.. it is very much inspired from the book). Though yes, It does require the caliber of hirani- Aamir to bring out the latent message in the book – the education system of the country and its flaws.

A little about the movie – It starts with Madhavan & Sharman getting a link about the whereabouts of Aamir , & they set out to meet him. Their college life is shown in the flash back. Aamir, who is different from others, with some off the track goal in mind, shows the first glint of his brilliance in the ragging scene. (very old engineering ragging technique!) They become friends & start living their rollercoaster life in the college. Boman irani is the principal, and he makes their lives hell, & to top it all, his daughter falls in love with one of them ( you know who!). The college fun, filled with some unexpected twists ad turns do make it an enjoyable watch.

The movie has raised some very valid & burning questions - teenagers committing suicide out of pressure, the validity of the college courses, need of grading system, etc.

The best part of the movie is that the makers have not only criticized the system and left it there, but have also shown the way – the school in Laddakh is a reminder for the government to see.

Now talking in detail about some fundamental flaws of the Indian education system which need to be changed.

Learning by rote

Learning by rote involves learning facts without developing a deep understanding of them. This lack of understanding makes it impossible to grasp meaning and apply and transfer the knowledge to other areas. Memorizing vocabulary words is pointless, for example, without understanding how to use them in conversation.

Lectures often emphasize rote learning rather than critical thinking. Topics are discussed sequentially, not critically. The teacher does the talking and most of the thinking. The student memorizes material and is placed in a passive role. But many of us who use the lecture should also be concerned that our students learn to think critically.

I remember students when teaching in a coaching institute for competitive exams. When I start teaching them to solve a problem yb starting from the basics of arithmetic, and then complete the entire question in a logical step by step manner, no bidy would listen. In the end, one of the guys would ask, “Sir, is there no shortcut formula for this problem?”.

Yes, there is a shortcut formula. MAKE ONE!. You should know how to derive the shortcut and make it your own.

I think it is time, that india moves to an enquiry based learning. This describes a range of philosophical, curricular and pedagogical approaches to teaching. Its core premises include the requirement that learning should be based around student's questions. Pedagogy and curriculum requires students to work together to solve problems rather than receiving direct instructions on what to do from the teacher. The teacher's job is therefore not to provide knowledge, but instead to help students along the process of discovering knowledge themselves.

Obsession with Grades

When I was in college, it was apparent. As the semester comes to a close, student anxiety tends to rise, usually to extraordinary levels. At L, the libraries would be filled with students

Students just talk to professors about one thing – grades. It is never to do with a new invention or some latest technology. No! it only has to be grades, and even if the talk digress to something academic it is only with the hope of creating an impression for it to reflect on the grades. ACP – After class participation.

Students who actually get curious about a subject are rare. It all just waters down to a letter grade.

My friends who went on a student exchange program to different parts of the world, had this to say about the system there, “.. their classroom manners weren't the best - arriving late, answering cellphones, and frequently turning in homework after it was due. But grades were never an issue. It truly was a productive academic environment - the focus was on collaborative learning rather than individual grades…”

An example here would be MIT Professor Noam Chomsky. During his junior high school years, he went to an experimental school run by Temple University's education department. With no grades or competition, each student was simply encouraged to do his or her best. Chomsky recollects this school as a wonderful and influential experience.

His parents then sent him to a competitive high school for college-bound students. Chomsky realized that grades and success were all that mattered, and school suddenly became a scary place that he admits he hated: "If I got a B in something, it was tragic," he writes in a letter. "I even got a D once - in English grammar, a subject that made no sense at all as far as I could figure out."
huh! English grammar. Thankfully CAT just has the application part of English.

Since joining the linguistics faculty at MIT in 1955, he has changed the face of linguistics, and especially the English language, with his theories on generative grammar. The point here: Grades aren't everything; excellence is. (point reiterated more than once in the movie!!)

Of course, who can argue that earning a good grade is not important? I, too, must admit that I become preoccupied with grades in my own graduate classes. but well, i was never in the rat race. I just wanted to clear the papers, as a pre requisite. It remained the same at L too.
But rather than running behind success, we should strive to sun behind excellence, which is the truer secret to education.

“kamyabi ke peeche nahi, kabilyat ke peeche bhago!.. kamyabi khud tumhare peeche daudegi”

When "get results now" prevails over "achieve excellence," it's very tempting to renounce our integrity.

The movie is a must watch for everyone, and especially to the parents of south india, who have tirelessly churned engineers and more engineers in the past several years. In the south india I have seen, it is like after tenth standard, a teenager is given the option – engineering or medicine? It is as if there are no other options available in the world. This has done good to the economy – a complete full fledged coaching market has sprung and is flourishing, but what has it done to the intellectual capital?

We have lost potential cricketers, actors, writers, photographers to this demon called engineering. Most of them have been sucked to the IT industry, and one year of recession has shown its true colours. Supply far exceeds demand and still there is a demand for “Quality” and “job ready” candidates. All these students just know to rote, so applying them to the real world is completely a different ball game al together.

So I sincerely hope the movie shows some ways, and brings about a mindset change in some people atleast. And also, hoping that the people in power, think something about the whole system and realize it is time for reforms.

New Year Resolutions

2010-01-09T13:11:00.001+05:30

Now this is one funny thing that I have not understood for many years now. Why do people have new year resolutions? 99% of them are done with it by January end itself, and the remaining 1% wean away gradually I am sure. So why have it?

As one of my friend has it on her Gtalk status – “people who don’t keep their new years resolutions are weak people, and those who actually make new year resolutions are fools!”

What's the difference b/w a New Year resolution and this blog?

A. You at least follow the latter! (picked this one from the MTVINDIA twitter stream)

I remember the last new years party in campus last year. Srini who was trying hard to quit smoking, comes over to me and Abhinav, and asks for a cigarette.

He had just got refused by Chitta.

Bharat: “I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking”

Srini: “I'm in the process of quitting”, he replies with a grin on his face."

Srini: “Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.”

Abhinav: “Phase one?”

Srini: “Yeah.. I’ve quit buying!!”

Needless to say, the cigarette remained lit for the entire year, and yes he did buy many a times. On his was to car dealers, in Mumbai local trains, he had to.

Talking more about resolutions, I wondered how a resolution list of people would look across the years.

Lazy reader

2006: I will read at least 20 books a year
2007: I will read all of Chetan Bhagat’s books
2008: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.
2009: I will read at least one article this year.
2010: I will try to glance at RK laxman’s cartoon everyday this year!!

An Overweight guy

2006: I will reduce to 80Kg.
2009: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2008: I will work out 5 days a week.
2009: I will work out 3 days a week.
2010: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week!

An extravagant woman

2006: I will not spend my money frivolously.
2007: I will pay off my credit card bills without fines
2008: I will be totally out of debt by the year end
2009: I will try to pay off the debt interest by the year end
2010: I will try to be out of the country before getting thrown into jail!

A poor husband

2007: I will try to be a better husband to pooja
2008: I will not leave pooja
2009: I will try for reconciliation with pooja
2010: I will try to be a better husband to Shilpa!

Again, a poor husband (come on, he deserves it!!

2007: I will stop looking at other women.
2008: I will not get involved with Shilpa.
2009: I will not let Shillpa affect my marriage
2010: I will stop looking at other women!! (there it starts again!)

An Alcoholic

2007: I will not take a drink before 8PM
2008: I will not touch the bottle before 4PM
2009: I will not become a "problem drinker".
2010: I will not miss my appointments with the liver doctor!!

A nerd

2005: When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
2006: I will stop sending e-mail, gmail, webmail and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
2007: I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.
2008: will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.
2009: I will not subscribe to an unlimited internet connection!
2010: I will not miss my appointments with the ophthalmologist.

Well, these were the resolutions of different kind of people. Coming to my own list:-

1. Give up smoking (again).
2. Learn a new skill, take up a new hobby. (really!)
3. Get organized. (yeah sure, and well buying an organizer does not fulfil this resolution)
4. Become more security conscious. (whose security?)
5. Be more regular on this page (this one i am serious)
6. Give up drinking, at least for the first week of January! (ahem! Well.. lets see!)
7. Stop procrastinating. Will start this from 11th jan, come on it’s a weekend, and last week I was busy.

Happy new year once again.

Quotes
New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. -Mark Twain

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account - Oscar Wilde

Targets on a new year

2010-01-01T16:11:00.000+05:30

Well, one more year passed and quite an eventful year it was. What’s so great about the New Year dawning in then? Nothing really. It is just, that time of the year, where the calendar and the diary need to be replaced. People go to all extent and wish many other things changed! Hello, it is just a change in the year – 2009 to 2010.

After partying hard last night, I slept at about 2AM something. At 7AM, my new blackberry started ringing, and woke me up. Damn! I should have disabled the alarm. My prayer to God in the morning –
God Bhai (well, this is the way I refer to him).. So far this year I've done well.
I haven't boasted, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been grumpy, cribbing, greedy, selfish, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, boss, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help. Please help.

This is the way life is – nothing much changes in a single day. Just because the year changed does not mean anything changes.

Talking about the party last night – it was an amazing party. I went there with three other friends, and it was “drinks unlimited”. I had made up this resolution (more about them later) to reduce the intake of alcohol and save the liver from cribbing. But well, unlimited drinks dude, I had to reach my target (sales ka banda hun!). I pretty much got drunk.

I got a call from a good friend, MoBulAri at about 10PM.

Bharat: “yeah dude.. happy new year.. slurp!”

MoBulAri (MBA): “dude.. these things can wait. Have any idea if any bookstore would be open now?”

Bharat: “ bookstore.. try the airport, no other reason why anybody should open shop at his time? By the way, why do you want a book shop now?”

MBA: “My wife saw this dream in the afternoon where I gave her a diamond ring”

Bharat: “Aha!” (should he not be asking for a jewellery shop? When did they start stocking diamonds at bookshops? Hope he is not referring to Arindham Chaudhari’s book!)

MBA: “And she asked me what does the dream mean?”

Bharat: “Aha.. slurp” (dude, unlimited beer inside, don’t waste my time)

MBA: “So, I want to gift her this book – THE MEANING OF DREAMS!”

Bharat: “%&^ $%&^$% $&$^% phone rakh saale!”

I was back to the party, cribbing to Ahen how MBA (referring to MoBulAri here, not the last two years in Lucknow) wasted time – precious time, when beer is served unlimted. I so wish I had powers like a camel, where I could store all the beer needed inside somewhere! I ran to the bartender (oh btw, they had female bartenders here. Ooh!)

There was VJ bani of MTV fame, and she did a good job of keeping the crowd occupied. At about 11:30PM, she announced it was time to get ready. (for what?)

She announced that there are just 30minutes to go for the new years eve, and she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing. The bartender was almost crushed to death. And the wives were just looking, more concerned about their appearance, than the behavior.

The party went on well, and I had set targets which I over achieved. Yes, I am a sales guy, and targets are something that drives me.

At about 10PM, I realized that I had just downed one beer, and it dawned that I should be extracting more bang out of it. So, I set myself a target of 6 beers before the clock strikes 12 midnight. It was mutually signed off with Ahen.

11:30PM. Damn I just finished my fourth beer, and only half an hour to go. The bartender was totally crowded by swarms of people (thank you Bani), but I did manage to squeeze in and asked for two bottles in one go.

With time running, I had no other option but to do a “rang de basanti” with the first bottle (drink the entire bottle of beer in one go!). I did. 11:40PM, and I had one more to go. Was the target too much? Should I actually revise it? NO. targets are always stretched, else they would not be called targets. Damn it. I have to finish the sixth bottle.

Slowly gulping it down, not caring for anyone close by, I did finish the 6th bottle, and heard Bani announce – “5 more minutes left!”. Yes, I completed my target well before the closing, and I still have time. I should now strive for the awards. Over achieve it.

After a tough ordeal at the bar, I managed a bottle of beer, and was again drinking. My friends at this time, were wondering if I had fallen off somewhere. No guys! I am just running.. running ahead of the targets.

The clock struck 12, people cheered, crackers bursted, we hugged, and here I had my seventh bottle in hand – half done.

Awesome feeling. Targets overachieved. Achievement : 108% (do the math!). Great beginning to a new year. See even i get carried away by this change in one day thing!

Well anyways, to all my blog readers - A very Happy new year to you!! have a RoKing time ahead!!

Sach ka saamna - tagged!

2009-12-31T13:21:00.000+05:30

Getting tagged is something that was very much in vogue when I started blogging (2005 puff! Its been a long time!!!). Now here, I am again tagged by my good friend Varun Reddy, and I thought it has really been long that I have done something like this, so why not give it a try!

Before starting, I would like to take the oath on the sacred Geeta (seen it many hindi movies) – “Mein jo kahunga sach kahunga.. aur sach ke sivay aur kuch nahi kahunga!”

Tagged By: Varun Reddy (U got me here dude!)
The ground rules
RULE 1- You can only say Guilty (means YES) or Innocent (means NO)
RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes, delete mine and type in your answers and tag your friends to answer this.

I have always been an iconoclast, without much adherence to rules n crap, so RULE 2 I am sorry. I will have to explain at some places to make it more readable.

Also, RULE 3, I am sorry, as I don’t think I should compulsorily tag a few names and then get accused of missing out on others. I don’t even want to be in that phase where I keep sulking, that someone I have tagged has not cared to answer.

So, I rather make this appeal, that everyone reading this should answer these questions, and get some bhoj out of them!

Let me begin…

Asked someone to marry you? Guilty (well, wish you a very happy married life. )

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty ( well, not the kiss kiss kinds, it was just a normal game of truth or dare!!)

Danced on a table in a bar? Guilty (not exactly in a bar, but on a table in public yes, and yes I was drunk!)

Ever told a lie? Guilty (may times)

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty (Long story, will take a complete post!)

Kissed a picture? Innocent (why??)

Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty (Many a times!)

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty (Well, I am from a B-School!)

Held a snake? Guilty (Snake park in Chennai!)

Been suspended from school? Guilty (well!)

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent. ( I so regret this, I want to have this kinda experience!)

Stolen from a store? Guilty (remember stealing a bar of 5-star when I was 12 years old something. The irony – I now work for a chocolate company!)

Been fired from a job? Innocent. (I am still on my first job!)

Done something you regret? Innocent (No regrets, this is the life mantra. The bad phases due to some avoidable doing is just a learning. No regrets!)

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Innocent (now why would that happen)

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent (Snowflake??, I think a more relevant to India question would be “caught a fly on your tongue?”. The answer for this could be “Guilty”. It was unintentional though)

Kissed in the rain? Innocent (In the rain! One more thing that I desperately want to do)

Sat on a roof top? Guilty (Everyday!)

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent. (what do you mean by shouldn’t. I am not killing anyone!)

Sang in the shower? Guilty (Everyday again! I dare not do that in the open, so the shower is the safest place to vent out my throat muscles to stretch )

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Guilty (many a times. Thank you bro.. this is the way he has thought me swimming)

Shaved your head? Guilty. (heard of tirupati balaji!)

Had a boxing membership? Innocent. (again I wish I did, atleast the card would have scared many people!)

Made a girlfriend cry? Guilty or innocent (No comments!)

Been in a band? Innocent. ( I wish I did, even tried playing the guitar. Thanks you Puneet. Realized soon enough that it was not meant for me! Thank you bro, for making me realize this!)

Shot a gun? Guilty (yes, the ones we used to get during diwali!)

Donated Blood? Innocent (scared!)

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent. (I wish I get to eat it someday!)

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty (why not?)

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent (again what do you mean by you shouldn’t?)

Have/had a tattoo? Guilty (yeah, Bubbaloo has tattoo promo running right now and it is cool. Marketing it through every channel)

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty (now those silent crushes I am sure everyone has.

Been too honest? Guilty (dangerously so)

Ruined a surprise? Guilty (Sorry bro, I did tell mom that I was sending the gifts!, So ruined the surprise that my bro wanted to give my parents)

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards? Guilty (I know, it does not show in my flabber)

Erased someone in your friends list? Innocent (what difference would it make?)

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Innocent. (fetish, will sure try it out someday!)

Joined a pageant? Innocent. (Nah!)

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty (many a times, and I would totally want to believe that they completely meant what they said

Had communication with your ex? Guilty (han, we still talk regularly)

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Guilty (this is something I consider brings in good luck. Was totally drunk before CAT, JMET and even the investment management exam in L. it has worked. Whisky it has to be)

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Innocent. (why cry when angry?)

Huh! Now I understand what do people go through when they are sitting on the wrong side of the table during “sach ka saamna” kind of shows. The sense of humuor needs to be at its best while answering any of the questions.

So, that was it guys. I now request you to take it forward and let it out!

Love affair - 3

2009-12-10T17:49:00.002+05:30

Now for the third part of this long love affair. The story till now, was that “she” had agreed to my proposal, and was showing strong indications. But, now I had this strong hurdle to cross – her parents.

She had set the date of me meeting her parents – feb 17th, 2007. The meeting was scheduled to happen in Hyderabad, and my dad was very supportive and encouraging. In fact, mom and dad both wanted to come along but I thought I would be better and more confident facing them alone.

February 17th, 2008

One more of those fateful days which you would never want to remember and it would anyways, never leave your memory.

Got up early. Got dressed. Prayed to god. “Lord, please please please…”. This is one gift I need badly. Grant it to me and you would never see my face again. God was surprised to receive this request from one of his biggest non believers. He had his chance now and he paid back.

I even had beer the previous night, as I think it gets lucky for me. It worked 3 months back when I proposed to her.

6:00 AM – Father called me and reminded me that this was the day. He wished me luck, and so did my mom and bro.

8:00 AM – started out to her place

12:00 AM – One of my friends called me to enquire what happened. But I was still waiting. Suddenly, I was called in and two elderly people – a lady in a well starched sari and a man in suit, asked me to sit. They did try making me comfortable and even asked if I wanted water.

I sent a good 45 minutes with them, trying to convince them that I am the best guy. I showed my smartness, and the intelligence, thanks to the arduous preparation since last many weeks.

Finally, after the grueling 45 minutes they were done, and I left. She told me later that her parents would decide in some days.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into one whole month. Still no news from her neither her parents. I was anxious and curious. Even if it is a no, she should atleast inform me. Maybe, I would wait for some more time. Maybe I would move on with my life as it is. Maybe. But I needed the answer. This wait was killing me.

I met pavan after long and he was surprised at my state. He asked me for reasons. I was in no mood to chat. Discussion went back to college days and finally came to her. I could not hold back anymore. All the reasons came out.

She finally called one fine day in april, and we spoke for long. She informed me about her discussion with her dad about me, and asked me to wait for a couple more days when her dad would call. She did not know anything about their decision.

One fine afternoon on a hot sunny april. I was at home, just back from college after attending the exams. The last term exams were going on, and I still had three more to go. I was expecting the call anytime, and was hoping it was a positive call. I would get out of my mind, and get totally depressed and would end up screwing my exams if anything went wrong. I wanted her badly, and spent a good part of my college life pursuing her, when I should have been on the football ground, and attending parties in the MVP rooms. I even missed my farewell party, as I had gone to Hyderabad to meet her parents.

I got the call. It was from a common friend – pavan. He said, he had just got a message from her that her dad has let it out, and the result is put up online.

Overcoming my confusion, and the tension I told the same to mom. Damn! My internet was not working at the right time.

I ran to my cousin’s place, informing mom. She started her prayers, and wished me luck.

After waiting, for my cousin’s old Pentium 3 system to start and then waiting for the page to upload on the slow leased line connection, I had landed to the required page.

YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED FOR THE POST GRADUATE PROGRAMME IN MANAGEMENT, AT INDIAN INSTITUTE OF MANAGEMENT, LUCKNOW 2007 – 2009.

Love affair - 2

2009-12-09T19:03:00.000+05:30

Hi Guys, am sure you all waiting for the second part of the love affair.

During the summer vacations, I had good fun. I enjoyed my time with her and got pretty close to her. We spent a lot of time together. I spoke to her about my ambitions in detail. I did not understand why she was as unattainable as projected.

Our story continued well after I came back. The first time I proposed to her was on 20th November 2005. She listened to me but gave no response. I was scared shitless after I proposed. Finally some time passed by and I was still scared. I saw all possible dreams of her refusing me. But in one corner of my mind, I still had some hope. But all my fears turned true. When I repeatedly asked her, she said "can't we stay friends for some more time?". I had no answer. But I was not ready to take no.

She told me I was too young for that, and I should wait for some more time, complete my graduation and then think about it. Graduation? I still had one whole year to go.

The association continued. I got a job from an MNC (a good American computer company, and not one of those mass recruiters) , and was having fun in the last year of college but she was still the dream. I still wanted her badly, in spite of the good job and the wonderful prospects ahead of me. We did keep in touch. I still spent time with her.

Even my father had come to know about her, and he was strictly against it. He wanted me to concentrate on my engineering and get into the MNC. I had different thoughts. My mom was supportive of this, and she encouraged me to pursue her. She just wanted me to be happy in whatever I do.

Time passed by and it was almost a year she had last said no.

The date had been decided and I met her and did the inevitable. I proposed. I tried convincing her with all my logic and hold on the vocabulary and the English language (I remember reading this somewhere – girls like guys speaking good English). She threw at me questions I was never prepared for. But, I put up a brave face.

I was sure the whole incident was a disaster. But she left the place without a word later. I waited for her response. With time, my hopes grew. She later sent an SMS saying she would give her answer on next Monday.

This time the response was positive and I was about to jump when she added, I am sure, you are one of the best guys I have come across and I would be happy if I say yes, but, I am not sure yet. She wanted me to convince her parents first.

I was dumbfounded. I did almost cry. But, the fighter in me said, don't give up. I took the wait in my stride. Our friendship continued. Little did she say an outright no. She just wanted to be completely sure.

Time passed by, and I was now in the last term of my graduation. I have to convince her, and spent nights thinking of the same and preparing for the D-Day. February was approaching.
My father repeatedly kept on asking about her. He had a very good opinion and was satisfied with my choice. He went to the extent of saying this was the first sensible decision I had ever taken in the 23 years of my existence.

The association grew stronger. I did not let her off. In one corner of my mind, she was still there. My position in college grew stronger. With it, the number of opportunities also went up.

She had said YES in January, and had said categorically that I had a little over a month to face the next hurdle. It was mid Jan 2007 and I decided to take the plunge. I gathered enough strength to do the dreaded – meet her parents. There was only one goal now and it was her.

With the help of some close confidantes, who were very much facing the same issue, we sketched the plan, and burnt the midnight oil, to pursue my dream.

Love Affair

2009-12-08T19:41:00.000+05:30

Ticket please. The TT came in, asking for my ticket. I was off to a north Indian place. After showing him the ticket started staring at the beautiful view outside. Mom was sitting on the opposite seat, and jatin was fast asleep on the top berth. Staring at those lush green fields, and the wonderful trees, my memory started going to a trip. A trip, which has been rollicking, bumpy and also fun all the way.

April 29, 2006.

“The day would forever be etched in my memory. The day she rejected me and the day she said, I was not worthy enough. I had heard her reject me several times before. But this time it was different. I had convinced myself that this has to be the last time I am trying to win her. I can't forever be trying to woo her.”, manoj was ruing.

Was thinking about how it all started…!!

Thoughts came, racing back to me. I was searching for a clean pair of socks to head for a game of basketball, when I heard Pavan, my classmate at college talk about this girl. He was telling a group of our friends, how a lot of people he knew tried to woo her and failed miserably. The list seemed to be full of the who's who of my college.

I tried barging into the discussion telling him, no girl is unachievable. But being the dumb head he was, he did not listen to me. I thought wait till the day the stud (ME!) shows you my magic. No Girl is as unachievable as she seems. It's just pure chemistry buddy, I boasted.

She was destined to come into my life.

This time it was a girl from my class who was relentlessly talking about her. She was telling us how her brother tried and is currently shattered by her rejection. Every one at her home was worried about how he would cope with the dejection.

The word unachievable was still ringing in my ears. I am from the achievers club and unattainable always aroused in me a desire to prove people wrong. Me being me, I was curious to find more about her. I talked to friends and gathered a lot of details about her. I started working towards my goal.

One morning our paths crossed for the first time. The college library was where I first met her. I said hi to her. She did not bother to reply. My male ego was hurt and I left the place fuming and vowing never to see her again in life. But destiny had its own plans in store for me.

Library was destined to be the most important place in my life and Pavan one of the most influential persons. Now when I recollect, it was this association that altered my path forever.

It was 2 weeks after our initial tiff and the location, college library.

She was with Pavan and I tried avoiding meeting them. But, Pavan called after me and I had to go say Hi.

Pavan went ahead with the introductions. Pleasantries were exchanged.

Hi she said and I replied with a curt Hi.

I kept talking to Pavan, who was trying to get her into the conversation. After a futile attempt at avoiding her, she finally started (told you, I am a winner!)

"Did you feel bad the other day", she asked?

"Why should I?", I replied

"Friends??" Out of the blue she asked. Left with no better reason to say otherwise, I said yes.

The day I still remember was 21st December 2004.

This association surged ahead. In no time, I was completely enchanted by her. Thoughts about her drowned me in mire. Rest of the life took a back seat. It was she, she and she in my life. It was time for my exams. I had to pass the exams at any cost to be with her the next year. So, it was time for some serious study.

The night outs and those one day battings came to an end and the thought of staying without her for 2 months during the summer vacations bothered me. I wanted to spend the quality of my summer vacations with her. So, I requested my father to send me to join a crash course. Little did he know of my devious intentions? My father relented.

Life of TARGET

2009-10-21T15:49:00.000+05:30

Its now been about three months selling chocolates, and it has just been getting better with every passing day. I have started enjoying sales, what with your daily report card right in front of your eyes every evening.

Chasing numbers of different kinds – Value, volume, coverage, efficiency, productivity and then scheme related targets. These were the lower limit numbers – something that you have to reach. More famously known as TARGETS.

There is another type of number called SLAB, defining the upper limit you can reach. A scheme is always budgeted and under no circumstances is one supposed to exceed them.

After the long mad chase for these numbers called TARGET, I am left wondering what exactly would be the biography of this thing called “Target”.

My humble attempt in profiling this divine phenomena – TARGET. Lets listen to it from the devil’s mouth itself.

My Name is TARGET
Imaginary, Multiple, Worldwide

About Me

Birthday– 1st April/ Every month at some places/ Every week at some other places. As we go lower down the hierarchy I could also be born every single morning.

Location

Arbitrary documents, Excel Sheets, Bosses / Employee’s Brains
Relationship Status- Impossible.

Here for

Sadistic Pleasures, or the kick! The way you take me.

First thing you will notice

I am too far, ever!

Introduction

Hello everyone my name is TARGET.
I exist in various forms across the globe. The biggest bosses in companies and corporate create me to continue their reign. I am thrust upon their subordinates who in turn do the same. I am the source of power for superiors at every level.

I get split into parts when I am thrust down the food chain.

Biggest Boss (1) --> Bigger Boss (3, 4)--> Big Boss (a few)....-->Employee (too many)
(Employee is the last node with no subordinate)

If someone gets too close to me, I am given a boost by the immediate superior.

HaHaHa (sarcastic smile) and I get away again. Yeah sometimes, like it happened to Bharat Jhurani last time, getting too close to me before my expiry could also mean danger. Bharat got too close to me on the 25th itself, and thought he has done a great deal. His boss praises him, showers him with all accolades, and then stretches me, to make me elusive again. The next month onwards, Bharat Jhurani always gets a big version of me!

Family

There are some close relatives of mine who never show up if I am not present.

Namely promotion and raise are my loved cousins. We are so close that they do not go anywhere without me. But they are considered socially awkward by the evil “humor recourse” people. So these people try to keep me away so that my cousins automatically don’t show up.

About Me Again

I enjoy a lot during my life. I see people slog to get me…oh I am so desirable :)
But my lifespan is too short; whether someone gets me or not I will die soon.
And I even know when I will die.

My Favorite tagline

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

Personal Advice

Do try to get me but don’t waste your life for me, coz I have multiple lives.
I will be born again with renewed strength and you will be the same, even more exhausted.

But what the heck I enjoy my life you too do :)

This is me – TARGET, and all the best catching up with me!

perfect weekend - good end

2009-10-13T17:14:00.000+05:30

I am sure by now you have all been following the story of the perfect weekend - I and II, and it is time now to announce the end of the wonderful weekend.

Continuing from the terrace, where me and P spent long hours extending well into the night, we get back.

Sunday morning. As usual we wake up pretty late, and we go out to the same small tea shop to have breakfast. She said she kinda likes the place after thronging the CCDs and the Brasitas of the world, that small shack really felt at home. More in India. Oh! I so like this girl. Se has no airs at all.

It typically happens, fresh into a relationship. You keep thinking and analysing different things. She likes this. She does not like this. With these small observations you would try making a mental picture of her inner mind.

After getting back home after breakfast, we plan to get away soon to catch up a movie. She had her train at 10PM. Damn!

But then we decide otherwise, and come to a common consensus (a rarity with the opposite gender) that the room is a better, more private place.

After spending lots of time doing nothing, but just staring at each other and talking random, we finally decide it is time to get ready if we want to watch the movie. We get ready and head straight to CP – my favourite hangout.

We reach CP right in time for the movie, and she agrees for Quick Gun Murugun after a lot of persuading. I like her. We have our lunch in the PVR itself. The movie was a laugh riot.

After the movie, I met Puneet on the road there walking out of castle 9. He was there with his friends. Me and P then head to Knights to have a late lunch, or rather early dinner. Beer it had to be. I love this girl. Come on, she loves beer!

We then get this crazy idea. My first proper meet with her was here at CP a week back, and we decide, “lets re-create it!”. Lets again go to the same places and relive those precious moments.

We then go to KFC to fill our stomachs with some actual food, rather than just beer and stuff. By the way, P also loves prawns and insisted for some at Knights. Wah! One more match. I am so much in love with this girl. Beer and Prawns, what better can one ask for?

After KFC, and she calling home and all, we also go to the CCD outlet. We were in no mood for a coffee, or anything for that matter. Also, it was already 9:15PM, and her train was about to depart in 45 minutes.

But then, we had to relive those moments. CCD is the place where we first met, and we had to go there. The same outlet. We have tea there, and run for an auto.

I drop her to the station, to send her off. That was an emotional send off. She was occupied with the reality that we would not be meeting for long now. She was going across the seven seas next week, and I would be leaving Delhi soon for my next stint.

I was more occupied thinking about my sleep. I had to go to office tomorrow. Her train starts moving, and I plant a kiss on her cheek and we hug each other. She leaves.

I manage to get back home in an autorickshaw. I reach home at about 11:15.

Well, 45 more minutes. The weekend is not yet over guys!

At home, Puneet is drinking with his friends – the same ones we met at CP. I join them, with some beer.

At about 11:45, we are done with all alcohol, and Abhinav too was back after the L reunion meet.

We all have a con call, and then i go to sleep. A very well spent weekend I was just thinking. And also, I have to sleep well, I have office tomorrow and it has to be a big day!

Puneet runs towards my room. “Dude, that guy is puking. What do we do of him?”

Ha ha! The room is all messed up and stinking, and no amount of AXE spray helps.

“yaar, tereko pata hoga ulti karne walo ko kaise handle karein”, puneet tells me.

“Make him eat a lemon, or some water. It get him hydrated”, I reply.

“Chill dude, just leave the guy. Let him extract the full out of his puke”, abhinav says with a definite assertiveness.

We all collectively agree that nothing much can be done. Let the other guy, who has no clue with the happenings, be there sleeping dead like he is on Pot.

The puking guy was left to his own peril. He was too heavy to be even budged from his own puke.

Puneet sleeps in the couch. TB is in my room, and the slosh guy is lost in his own puke!

Ha ha! Perfect ending to an amazing weekend! Looking for more!!!

This series of the perfect weekend was inspired by real people and real events, but to maintain the interest of the reader (you!) it has been converted to a work of pure fiction adding the necessary masala and curry wherever the tone went bland!

Perfect Weekend - II

2009-10-07T17:37:00.001+05:30

After the wonderful response on the beginning of the perfect weekend, and the complete approval of the rest of the post, here i am with the continuation.

Continuing from the previous post, where I left you all eating at comesum at 3:30 in the morning. My friends then thought of getting back home, though I suggested staying over for some more time and then going to the new delhi station directly from there. (Why?)

We get back home at about 4AM, and then after a quick conference call, we retire to the bed. Doc was really sleepy and so were all of us. Me and puneet were woken up from sleep a couple of hours back for Comesum

At about 7AM, I get a call on my phone and I lazily answer it. “Hello.. I have reached the station. Are you there?”, the voice on the other side screams.

“Huh! Oh okay, babes I am so sorry", Damn the alarm clock.

"Can you please come down on your own?”

She replies, “ Cool, no issues”, with a very obvious disappointed tone.

I sleep for some more time, and then again get a call.

“Hi, I am at the gurudwara!”, the same voice.

“Ah! Oh.. I.. I.. I am on my way. See you there in two minutes”.

Saying this, I quickly grab hold of my brush and finish shining my teeth. It was more to get over the smell of the cigarettes and masala dosa we had at comesum early in the morning.

Trying to hold my tracks ,I run down to the nearby gurudwara.

“Hi baby, missed you so much.”, and I plant a kiss. It did not really impress her.

She was already walking towards the house when I pick her up. Visibly angry that I did not come to the station and then again for the long time I took in coming down here to lead the way home from the gurudwara.

One more kiss. Hope this gets her out of her angry mood.

The real reason that got me late to the gurudwara was not the brushing, but waking up Doc. He was sleeping in my room, and I had to clear him before getting P. Seriously, that was tough and time consuming.

Before entering the house with her, I peeped into my room to ensure the fatso was gone. He was still in there!!! I had to make her wait in the balcony, get this lazy bum out of my room to the couch in the dining room, and then get her to the room.

Lots of kisses, hugs and sweet talk later, we realize that we are hungry. This was like at about 10AM. It took us one more hour, and many more kisses and “ I love you.. I miss you” stuff, to realise we had to get up to be in time for the breakfast.

At about 11, we finally get up from the bed, still not tired of the kisses. We lazily walk down the road, crossing the gurudwara to the tea point at sharmaji's.

After a sumptuous bread omelette and tea, we walk back home. Even doc, who was sitting idle in the living room all this time, getting bored and trying hard to read a book lying there, joined us for breakfast. He is good company, and is a thorough gentleman with girls around. That much credit I give him. But then so am I! remember Doc, that night at QBA.

Doc asks me if I could stay out of the room for sometime, as he wanted to get ready, and I had to agree. I spent some good time in the balcony with P, reading newspapers, and talking about the wonderful view of the balcony, overlooking the garden. Dreams flew by, and so did talks, that we nearly ended up living in bungalow with a huge balcony. We just designed our future home in great detail.

Doc was done, and he was going to meet his grad friends. We bid him a good bye, and got back to our own little sweet, non-ac room. The other room mates were still all sleeping dead, with their ac ON!

Again after idling for long and chatting, at about 2 we decided to go out for lunch, and after further lethargy we got up from the bed. Not before I got kissed a good three times! (This was the bribe to get me off the bed!)

We went down to SAKET, the closest hang out place from our home, and were thinking of watching a movie. She was more enthu for kaminey.. while I wanted to watch Quick Gun murugun. We finally zeroed in on LAK. The show was at 5:30PM, and it was still only 3, so we though of having good lunch.

We entered this awesome british restaurant at SAKET, where a single pint of beer costed Rs.250/-. Shit expensive. Well, I had just got my salary a couple of days back, and it was an impressive six figure. I was in total mood for indulgence. We indulged.

“A beer each please. Carlsberg”, I directed the fake smile faced chinese waitress.

Wow! This was turning out be like the best lunch date. I am out with a beautiful girl, and she loves beer. She also loved the prawns. Wow! A complete match.

At about 4 something, one pint beer down, we get mischievous. She heads towards the rest room, and we take full advantage of the isolated common area between the men’s and women’s washroom. Amazing! I had just seen it happening in films.

After that, I had one more beer, and she decides that she would just take a sip or two from mine. She was not that used to beer apparently. In the bill, we realize that happy hours are on, and we are entitled to one more beer due to the one plus one offer on. Beer anyday, so I go for one more beer, while her highness just stares at me. She had now shed her inhibhitions and after sitting long on the opposite chair, decides that it is better if she sits closer, right next to me. this way she can talk better is what she claimed! I believe otherwise though.

Probably one of the best luncheons I have ever had.

We then head to the auditorium and watch the movie. Corner seats.

After the movie, we were again on this decisive mode. One more movie, or home? She decides home it is, where we could have a romantic evening together. Anything for you ma’am!

We head straight to home, and change. We then set off again, to get some beer. Yes, she has now developed a taste for it. My roomies ask if I can get them some beer too, but then their order size was way too much to carry. One full case!

Me and P, head to the local theka, get three bottles of beer and then head to Café Coffee Day. CCD has a prominent place in our relationship. Our first date was at one of the many CCD outlets here in Delhi.

After spending some quality time there, me ogling at the beauty of delhi girls. (psst. There were two very good looking (read Supermodel type) girls sitting opposite to our table!)

We head back home, and order for Domino’s pizza and their newly launched pasta for dinner. Perfect romantic setting it has to be.

The pizzas arrive in sometime, while we were catching up with the 4th season of HIMYM on my lappy. She goes to the restroom for a minute, and I take this opportunity to have the perfect setting.

After a quick clean up of the room – clearing the newspapers and books, getting the bed clean, and arranging the laptop in a comfortable place. I then light a candle that I had bought earlier that week, and switch off the lights.

She is in for a huge shock. Obviously!

Dark room. Candle lights. Pizza and pasta with beer, and a super hot guy (Me! ). She was visibly impressed and gave me a tight hug.

“All this for me?”, she whispers, nearly in tears.

“yes darling!”, and I get a tighter hug.

After sometime out of the pleasant surprise and the hug, we settle down to have dinner and the beer.

What a pleasant time that was – everything was perfect. To add on, she was not like the other girls who always minded beer! (girls please, beer is much more better than vodka!)

After dinner, we head to the terrace which was my second plan. One more romantic setting. I just had this one night, so I had to get in everything fitted in right then.

Alas! I could not get the time to arrange anything up there at the terrace, but the moonlight did the magic.

With beer in my hand, and P in my arms, it was a wonderful feeling altogether. So now, if you my dear reader would please allow. i would like to spend some private time with my dream.

to be continued..

Snippets

2009-10-06T05:33:00.000+05:30

idle browsing through the internet prompted me to start this. Small snippets of the interesting (to me!) happenings in and around out little world.

Sorry if most of these are marketing related events, but can't help. You can't expect a chocolate salesman to write about Rocket launches and underground sewage system right!

What next?

Lazy people, and insomniacs demand an apology from karan johar. The movie’s title has hurt their sentiments. Why should someone force me to wake up. This is a free country, and I have all the right to keep sleeping, with anyone er! I mean anytime.

Two months here in delhi has made me literally fall in love with the city. Everything out here is amazing. Especially the food. There are so many eateries, offering a wide range of options to satisfy every pocket. In fact, my favourite part in MINT is their weekend mid page where they have a tie up with TIME OUT, listing all the happenings in the metro. The food section there gets the most time share.

One more addition to the same is PlanForMe.com, a one-stop solution for all planning needs related to the food and hospitality industry, with its new print avatar of the website, in the form of a magazine called Food and Nightlife.

It is being positioned as a Delhi-centric magazine. With a cover price of Rs 30, the 60-page magazine will have an initial print run of 50,000 copies. Editorial content will form 70 per cent of the pages, while the remaining 30 per cent will be advertisements.

An the best part, By the end of this financial year, PlanForMe will be operational in Mumbai and Pune. By 2010, the company hopes to expand its reach to all the metros.

Though I am not all that a big foodie, who does not like good food?

Coming to the basic needs of life - mobile phones. no hello! it is no more the luxury it was a couple of years back. Now everyone holds a mobile. infact, a recent article in ET states that many indians actually have more than a single connection. trust india on extracting the maximum of schemes. i work for an MNC, selling chocoltes, and deal with distributors and retailers on a daily basis. trust me, even a 1% scheme, which might ammount to less than a few hundreds in a transaction of about a lakh matters a lot.

Anyways, coming back to the core issue - mobile phones. How many of you feel you are addicted to your mobile?. 99 out of 100 would refuse and claim that it is just another thing. But well, I firmly believe that 99 of 100 are actually addicted! Okay. Debatable.

Okay, chuck that. How many of you actually sleep with the mobile phone next to you?. A vast majority I am sure. A study says, “more than four in 10 Americans say they “can’t live” without their mobile phone and and nearly half sleep with it nearby”, according to a global mobile-phone survey from Synovate, which found that cellphones are increasingly becoming consumers’ “remote controls for life.”

This issue is something I have been working on for the past couple of months. Diwali gifting.

With the festive season well underway, people are gradually loosening their purse strings. Freebies, gift packs, discounts – FMCG players have pulled out all stops to attract customers. Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Dabur and Parle are some players that have come up with attractive schemes as in the previous years. All major players are eyeing 25-30 per cent growth in sales during the festive season. And well, my company is aiming much more than that. A never before seen spectacle.

Coca-Cola with its ‘Coca-Cola Khushiyan Replay’ consumer promotion campaign, a computer generated lucky draw would provide consumers with a chance to win Camcorders every hour for the next 40 days

Not to be left behind, PepsiCo India has come up with no less than eight different kinds of beverage gift packs consisting of its brands – Pepsi, 7Up, Mirinda and Tropicana, along with gift packs of snacks brands like Kurkure, Lays and Leher Namkeen. Damn! Direct competition. “Chitta, yeh teri boundary hai.. aur yeh meri. Mere area mein aake maal mat bechna!”
Can Dabur remain far? They have started selling gift packs with health as the selling point. Along with the real juice packs, the ‘Gift of good living’ – a container consisting Chyawanprash, Honey and Squeezy Honey would try to further the basic brand appeal – health.

Parle is also participating in the race, giving away free gift packs of Hide & Seek, Milano and assorted biscuits.

And who creates this category? Who shifts the consumer from the traditiona mithai and the dry fruits gifting of Diwali? more on that soon.

Last summer, during my stay at home, I was filled with nostalgia when I spoted a young cousin of mine reading the latest issue of Tinkle. I, like many of my age, have grown with Tinkle, chacha choudhary and the likes. And now Suppandi – the funny simpleton character from the magazine, is set to jump out from comic strips to the silver screen. ACK Media is producing a stereoscopic three-dimensional animation film, with Suppandi as the main character. The film would hit cinema halls in November 2010.

So these are small random items to keep you occupied before you read the rest of my weekend. I have already written it, and it has gone seven seas across for proof reading and editing. Will post it once it is approved!

Wake Up Sid - Movie Review

2009-10-05T16:33:00.000+05:30

Last weekend once agin was an extended weekend – thank you bapu. So me along with my roomies decided to watch Wake up Sid. Now I realize it has been really long that I have actually reviewed a movie. Not that I have not seen any. The last three months I have seen the maximum number of movie, if the number of movie/ week is calculated for any period of my life. Huh! An MBA makes you this.

now the review.. (chuck the globe, i care a damn about your movie outings!)

This movie is different from other karan johar ventures. It takes inspiration from Dil Chahta hai, Rock on and the types. It is about the today’s world. Today’s youth. Today’s generation and their problems.

It is about a coming of age we all go through. It’s a film that instantly strikes a chord because it’s full of snapshots from our own lives.

Sid is a grown-up kid, not a “man”, as he is often told by his good friend Aisha. Sid is a rich, lazy, unmotivated slacker from Mumbai. Between the kid and the man lies the struggle to find one’s identity, a struggle to figure out what is it that one wants to do in life.

When college days are over, it’s time to think beyond i-pods, parties, get-togethers and to chalk out a career. “But why?” He can, because he’s got a rich dad who even tries to lure him into his business with the promise of a latest Porsche as a gift. And the next thing you see is Sid sprawled on a chair in his dad’s office, munching on a pizza and yapping on his cell. A grown-up kid not willing to wake up to the altered reality around him.

When Sid flunks his college exam (and it feels terrible trust me!) he finds himself in a tight spot. Tired of being taunted by his parents, he leaves his home and moves in with his best buddy Aisha, who’s come to Mumbai to be “independent”. There, living with Aisha , Sid is confronted by his harsh reality. He can’t cook for his life. He doesn’t have a job. His credit card is blocked. And on top of it all, he finds that he’s carried the disorder of his own life into Aisha’s. It’s time to wake up. “ hello good morning”.

one can karan for those high rise moments which would draw a person to the theatre. For instance, that scene when Sid is photographing a mother cuddling up her kid. In a flash Sid becomes aware of his own love for his mother

Wake Up Sid is a light hearted movie that will make you smile. Full credit goes to Ranbir Kapoor and Konkana Sen Sharma's flawless acting. Ranbir spellbinds you with an endearing act like his expression by using his eyes, his voice, his oddly-pitched laugh and the tiniest of tics to make a flesh-and-blood character out of Sid.

Perfect Weekend - Humble Beginning

2009-09-30T17:21:00.000+05:30

While in college I don’t remember ever waiting for a weekend. There everyday was like a weekend, and every weekend was like any other normal day. Simple, if there are impending assignments, deadlines, exams the weekend is spent in the library, and if there is nothing of that sort any day could be a Sunday.

But well, it does not work that way in corporate life. Here after a whole week of sweating out in the hot sun, one starts to wait desperately for the weekend. Sometimes the wait begins from Wednesday itself.
So here was this awesome weekend I had, and I am sure it is going to be a memorable one for a long time to come.

It all started right from Friday evening. After a whole day of sales on the streets of rajendar nagar, I was dead tired and just wanted to crash on the bed. I reached home at about 8:30 just to discover that the maid has not come. So no dinner! Ah! I was too lazy to actually order something. Chuck the dinner, I am sleeping. And wroom I am on the bed dead asleep.

P calls, and some others too, but I don’t care. I am too asleep to even listen to the “twist” ringtone on my N72. Doc tries calling and messaging but I am not part of this external bliss. I am deep into slumber. At about 1, I hear bangs in my room, and the light on! A huge body is standing in front of me, and is ready to pounce on me. Oh! My Gawd! Is there a bull at home? Nah! It was Doc.

Doc is home, and after his tries of waking me up get futile he tries abhinav, and is successful. After exchanging the initial pleasantaries (read expletives) and the hugs (read fights), and a smoke, we come to a conclusion that we all are hungry. But well, no food in the kitchen. Doc has this crazy plan – lets go to comesum.

So, now while we have the much required night snack at ComeSum, you too go grab yourself a bite.

Coming up with the subsequent continuation soon..

FASTFORWARD - Marketing channel

2009-09-24T14:13:00.000+05:30

In this ever-changing digital environment, it can often be tough for businesses and marketers to keep up and maintain relevance to consumers. To help this out, google has partnered with The Wharton School to launch Fast.Forward. This site is full of helpful content, including more than 100 videos from leading industry experts — like google CEO, Eric Schmidt — and academics like Jerry Wind, Lauder Professor at The Wharton School, AAAA CEO Nancy Hill, offering their perspectives on the changing world of marketing.

it elaborates on how to build community and customer bases in the digital landscape, through extensive videos. The Channel shows communications professionals how they can evolve to cut through the noise and spam, and build loyal audiences with tech savvy people.

Through short videos from some of the top industry minds the group hopes to challenge marketers to take risks and create better campaigns. For now, the site comes up short as the videos appear to answer questions in a very general manner with few specifics in terms of tactics and strategy. The most promising component of the site appears to be the "Free Tools" section with a list of resources including links to a website optimizer, search insights and 3rd party trends data from Facebook and Twitter. Right now, all of those links are dead.

The first rule of marketing: test your product.

As consumers become more and more technologically savvy, businesses and marketers have worked quickly to keep up. As a result, many companies are left questioning what they aren't doing that they should be, or what they should do next to stay in front of the right people, in the right place, at the right time, in an increasingly digital world.

A similar initiative by the UK marketing team of google, survival of the fittest already exists in partnership with London Business School.

More importantly, the videos also take a look at the implications of those changes for marketers and consumers. These experts tackle topics ranging from the importance of innovation and insights, to the new definition of speed. On the flipside, we also have videos from interviews with everyday folks, where we learn about the roles advertising and online content play in their daily lives.

In addition to the library of videos, the brand channel offers a "barometer" gauging consumer confidence levels and links to free tools designed to help marketers understand the online world a little better, as well as information on the Future of Advertising. A Wharton-led, research-based project, the Future of Advertising aims to explore and address a number of the business and marketing challenges in the current "Advertising Reality", while developing new models and empirical generalizations for advertising.

the event section aims to cover major marketing meets and events, coming up with some interesting behind the scenes footage.

So if you're interested in hearing what others really think about "advertising", if you want to check out what's happening at Advertising Week, or if you have your own opinion that you'd like to voice, check it out.

IDEA to airtel - with the same number

2009-09-24T12:43:00.000+05:30

Mobile Number Portability (MNP), which has been on the anvil for long will finaly be implemented by the beginning of the next year. It would allow subscribers to retain their mobile telephone number while discarding one service provider for another.

So, airtel today, wait aircel has come up with pocket internet – SHIFT! Four days and boom I am on a different network. It would take a maximum of 12 days in Jammu & Kashmir, Assam and north eastern circles, though.
March 20, 2010 is stipulated to be the deadline for this to be implemented all across the country.
Ofcourse, there would be charges for the shift, and some other formalities, which I guess is completely worth the pain.

Brand loyalty is on question, and the consumer is the ultimate winner. The fight for ARPU (average revenue per user) is going to get more fiercer, and the telecom is to see some interesting times ahead.

I so thank TRAI for this initiative, though delayed. I had bought an IDEA sim long back in 2003, when other players were not all that good in network. But boom! What happens, as time passed by, other players came up with good exciting offers, and IDEA was still with the old times.

NIGHT call free, SMS at 1ps, and so many such offers which my college friends took full advantage with very good returns on the personal front. But I just lagged.

Why? I did not want to change my number! Now I finally can get out of idea’s hold.

I guess the next initiative of the government should be to absolve inter state roaming issues too. India is one country, and calling someone from kerala to JnK should be the same, as calling someone in the next room.

Maybe atleast, TRAI could come up with number portability inter state. So, for a person like me, who would keep shifting states would not have to change the number with every state.

All this would just increase the churn among the operators, which is at a very high level even now - 4.5 per cent per month in india, which roughly means that more than half India's over 400 million subscribers change operators in a year.

All for the good of the consumer!!

Getting social

2009-09-15T14:46:00.000+05:30

Trust rediff.com to stir the best of the discussions. There was a story recently on someone gaining access to a celebrity’s social network and how it played havoc with the victim’s life, while she was busy shopping in London.

Thus a discussion page started, about the pros ad cons of social networking. Look at some of the comments:

You need to select your password which is impossible to guess...and should also be alphanumeric and contain special characters which make the haccker's job a little difficult. Being a non-dictionary word is recommended

Well for an online identity a password is a must. The social networking site recommends the same. The issue here is, the hacker (or hacker as you would cal them) need not guess the password. There are system bots and other such malicious software which could leak the password too, without any importance given to the complexity of the password. It be “bharat”, or “gh56&*$hu”.

This would no doubt keep continuing till a biometric system is much in vogue. Already many computers are inbuilt with finger print recognition, so that could be enabled with passwords too.

Wide Spread Porn is circulated.

Every thing in the name of social?

Authority must look into curb it.

Wide Spread Porn" its there everywhere...

its a mentality bor...

intenet/social sites are just a modern medium..

Authority cannot do anything as they could not stop pros in last 100 years..how do you expect them to stop something that is already there in the society.. go ahead and legalize it accept it you problem will be solved

Right said my boy. Porn would exist, and I don’t see any reason for it not to. Yes, on sites which are meant for children NO. But well, every site has an agreement form to be signed up declaring that the user’s age is above 18. What else could the site authorities do? Physical verification?

And like we in sales say,

Undercutting is like prostitution, it would always exist, no matter what!
Similarly porn to internet, the sooner we realize the better it is.

Except email address do not disclose any other contact details in social networking sites

Why email address? I get large amount of junk mails everyday. (I do get genuine business enquiries and thats why I had advertised it) But there is always a danger that it may be misused
.

Never ever give away your official email ids on these forums. Email ids are free people, so why not create a special id only for these spam mail generating websites?

Social networking is a wonderful thing online, and has helped a lot many people to reconnect and unite. There is bound to be misuse, but then simple measures can help us to be away from them.

management funda in reaching the station

2009-09-07T17:20:00.001+05:30

I am sitting here at the busy railway station and writing this article, waiting.

After sleeping at 3AM, on a Saturday night what time do you expect one to wake up on a sunday morning? Not before noon atleast, no matter what. The just gone Saturday was no different. We started drinking right from 10PM, and went on and on. After finishing off all the stock in the huge 165 litre refrigerator at about 2AM, Kapil gets this idea to go out for an ice cream. Not that we wanted to eat an ice cream, but just for the heck of it. We agreed.

So, after an ice cream and then a conference call in the balcony, we managed to sleep at 3AM. I set an alarm on my N72 for 6AM. What? 3 hours. You want to wake up at 6AM on a Sunday morning? Have you gone crazy?
Nah! I have a train to catch.

I am going to Chandigarh for a week for my upcountry stint.
Next day morning, at 6AM sharp the alarm started ringing on my cellphone. I have on purpose set a very irritating tone, so that it drives me crazy and I get compelled to wake up. I have been using this technique, and this very tone, right since my MBA days. I also always keep the mobile a little far from the bed, such that I would have to get up from the bed to switch it off.

But damn the snooze option on the mobile, I picked up the phone from the dressing table, put it on snooze and went back to sleep! I kept doing this for the next half an hour, or probably a little more.

At about 6:40, I happened to glance at the clock on the mobile screen and I was like,” what the fuck?.. I am Late!”. The train is scheduled to depart at 7:40, and the station is a good 45minutes journey by an auto. I am doomed.

I completed the morning ablutions in a whisker, changed and after bidding a good bye (I just shouted to the sleeping mates informing them that I am leaving), I left home. As usual, Malviya nagar is the only area in Delhi probably, where the auto guys feel more comfortable travelling without any passenger on their back seat.

After some negotiations (against my favour), and convincing (more of begging!), one auto guy agreed to come over for 90 bucks. The normal journey is charged at about 70 something. I did not really have the time to negotiate. This is at 7:10, and the train departs in another half an hour, there is no way that I could reach the station.

I kept pressurizing him to drive fast, and I urging him again and again. I had an unlit cigarette in my hand, which was not getting lighted due to the high speed of the auto, and the flowing wind, but I was more concerned about the speed of the auto. i just kept holding it.

I was so wishing that there be some system (or its failure), like in the movie SPEED, where the bus should not be below a particular limit of speed else it would blow up.

After about 10 minutes I ask him, “bhaiyya, aur kitna time lagega?”

He replies, “yahan se.. kam se kam 20 minute to lagenge”

That makes it 7:35. That would imply that I will have to miss the train. No! this can’t happen, and I realize I have to convince him hard. This talk happens at a red crossing, and I light the cigarette taking advantage of the lack of motion in the auto.No, I want the damn thing to be in motion, in full throttle.

I again tell him in a desperate manner, “bhaiyya jaldi please, fast. Meri train 7:30 ko hai”

(Management funda: keep some buffer for yourself)

Even in sales or any field for that matter, every level of the hierarchy has some extra buffer target for himself, and sets a slightly higher target when apportioning his target to the sub-ordinates.

He replies, “Arrey, aap to late ho jaenge sir. Thodi jaldi nikalna tha na!”

This is how a saleman would reply while taking note of his targets. He would try his best not to accept the target, and keep cribbing that it is too high. Acceptance of defeat even before the war has started.
Now he is started zooming the vehicle but I am not convinced.

Yeah, as if I don’t know that i should have started early. Now I have got late, and lets do something about it. I try using the next funda of management.

(Management funda: Incentivize!)

I try making him believe, without making it explicit that he would get more money if I reach in time for the train.

It seems to be working, he has set the vehicle in full throttle, but probably he could do more. Now getting to the next principle,

(management Funda: Motivate and make him accountable.)

I try sweet talking to him, without disturbing his concentration on the road. I tell him inspiring things like, “Bhaiyya, ab aapke saath hun to aapko time par pahunchana hi padega. yeh aapka farz banta hai”.

I try to make him realize that it is like a question of his competency. These are the moments when his true skills are under test, and I also try to make him proud of his years of experience (18 years in this case). Ultimately, he is made to believe that his passengers should reach in time wherever they want to, and this becomes his most important KPI (key performance indicator). This is the pride of work that he lives for everyday, drives an auto all day.

Now the final nail, the traffic signals. He is still forced to stop at the signals, though it serves no purpose. It just delays my journey to the station.

(Management funda: authorize!)

I request him to jump traffic signals, and assure that I would pay the fine if any. I convince him that there are no cops around, and even try to keep in good humour by joking that all the policemen would be busy sleeping on their beds, afterall it is a Sunday morning.

He zooms, and I am at the station at 7:35 sharp! Huh! 5 more minutes left. Thanxs for the buffer time . It is so really important. We should probably have a complete elective on this in B-Schools.

I run towards the platform, asking passersby which platform is the shatabdi on.

It is on platform 2, or rather it was. I run towards the platform. I am on the foot over bridge and I can see the train moving! I run at the top of my speed, with two bags hanging on my shoulders, and screech down the stairs. still puffing!
.
.
.
.
..3 and a half hours later..
.
.
.
it is 11:15AM and I am still at the station waiting.

.
.
.
.
Well, at the Chandigarh station!, waiting for Rajeev to pick me up. Yes, I did catch the train!

Now all ready for one complete week in upcountry parwanoo away from the hustle-bustle of city life.

Awesome Monday

2009-09-02T14:01:00.008+05:30

Its been more than a month here at Delhi, and after those initial hiccups I am now completely enjoying the stint. The days are filled with learning the nitty gritties of the processes and systems in selling chocolates. And the weekends are filled with loadsa fun and frolic. The campus setting is all recreated, what with the same bunch of people staying up together – every night is a potential party night.

Especially the past two weekends have been really awesome, and am sure its going to stay memorable for a long time to come. This post is about the awesome Monday that I had last week.

Early in the morning I was woken up at 4AM (my gawd! Who wakes up at that time? Not even the birds!), and after getting ready into my formal attire we start off to the New Delhi railway station at about 5. The train was to departure at 6:15AM, and we reach the station well in time. After the train departs, I wonder what to do?

Go back to malviya nagar, and start for gurgaon later? No point in this, as I would have to start as soon as I reach home. So a better option would be to get going to guragon (my office for the day, as discussed), though it is quite early to office. I take a bus to Dhaula Kuan, and then take another crowded bus from there to IFFCO chowk in gurgaon. I manage to reach gurgaon at 8 itself, while the office starts at 9:30 something.

After hanging around, and having breakfast at a roadside eatery, and tea and smoke, at about 8:45 i enter the office to find all staring in a strange manner. It was just the maintenance staff doing the cleaning, and by their looks it was apparent they did not recognize me. When I start settling down in my boss’s cubicle a guy comes running towards me.

“sir, kaun ho aap?” (who are you?)

Okay, now that was pretty straight forward.

I reply calmly, with a smile on my face, “mein yahin par kaam karta hun” ( I work here)

Another guy comes in, and remembers serving me countless cups of tea, and thus confirms my appointment.

After lazing around there for some time, and a visit to the bathroom I try settling down in the cubicle. Right then, I get a call from boss, who asks me to come down to rohini instead.

Great! I check on googlemaps on my mobile, and it shows rohini being 40km away form where I am right now. It would take atleast 2hrs to reach there and that too after blowing up a considerable amount of money on travel, and a sojourn in the crowded public transport.

Can I do something about it? No! So, well a sleep starved myself gets on into a rickshaw to get to IFFCO chowk. Now another irony here is, I don’t know the best way to reach rohini. I was initially thinking of reaching Dwarka, take a metro back to central delhi and change for the metro to rohini. Nice option it seemed.

Luckily the shared cab I got into was going to azadpur, and my googlemaps (to which I remained hooked during the travel), showed that it is on my way to rohini. On confirmation with the driver and paying an additional 10 rupee, I could still sit in the cab. I get down at wajirpur (thank you googlemaps), and then catch an auto from there to the distributor point where I was supposed to reach.

At the distributor point I am in for a shock – it is locked. Oh! How could I forget, this market remains closed on Mondays!

I call up my boss again, who then asks me to come down to prashanth Vihar instead. Awesome! The map showed that to be comparatively close. I walk out from the market to the main road, and try loking for empty autos to ply me there. I could just find a rickshaw, who argues of coming only till madhubhan chowk. I was helpless, and I had to take it.

At madhuban chowk, after crossing the huge traffic signal lights there, and the metro above, I get to the other side of the road. I am again looking for an auto or a rockshaw to ply me till my final destination (hopefully). After a wait, and walk, of about 15mins in that hot sun I finally get a rickshaw. And after asking a zillion people, and travelling randomly I finally locate one of the sales officers, and get assured. Yes, I have finally reached the required destination.

I get a call from my friend, who announces her arrival to lucknow. Wah! I am just crisscrossing aross NCR, and within this time people have reached lucknow. The time it takes for me to office, is as good as the time taken to reach lucknow. Well, such is life!

The destination I reached was a food court called rameshwarams. Yes, we generally have our meetings at such places, and that day was the time for mid year review. I just sit on my laptop trying to interact with the sales officers, and trying to complete the work assigned.

After about 4 hrs there in the food court, discussing random stuff ranging from stock markets to the trip to manali, and also working in between, I get to talk to my boss at about 4.Well, the lesser I talk about the meeting the better it is.

At about 5, after being dropped to the metro station I set out home. I reach home at about 6:30 and find my cell phone battery down. Damn! Last one minute probably and I try caling up TB (my room-mate), but before he could answer, the battery is dead. It so felt like that scene in hindi movies, where a person is dying in the lap and is uttering something very important earnestly, but before he could say the actual thing he is dead falling on the lap of the holder, mostly with the eyes open.

Now no keys for home, TB had said he would be going to the snooker parlour. And I don’t know where it is. I have a pair of keys that Abhinav ( another of my room-mate) had given me a week back or so. I go home with a heavy laptop bag on my shoulders and hoping that the key would do the job. Nah! How could life be so simple?

After trying hard, and even going to the terrace and having a smoke hoping that TB would be back by then I give up.

I had to use some salesman jugaad (more about it in detail in the ensuing posts) to get through this. I could not be waiting for ever for TB. I walk down to Sharmaji (the tea stall owner), and hav a tea. I was looking for a dispenser hung somewhere with mobile chargers. They are such a common site in malls. But well, why would any pug following company set one up here in this housing locality.

Then an awesome idea strikes me.

“Sharmaji, aapke paas mobile ka charger hai kya?”, I shout to the tea stall owner.

He gets all eager to help and asks his wife to check. The disappointment on his face when his wife finds one was apparent. He obviously did not want me to mess up with his things, lest I spoil them. He anyways gives the charger to me.

Alas! Why did nokia have to change their charger specifications? This one was of a thick pin, while my mobile jock accepts the thin one.

Now if you are still wondering why could I just not call up TB? Well, blame the mobile phones In the good olden days we would all have a small pocket diary having all the important numbers, but no more. The contacts were all in that dead phone. It seriously set me thinking, what if my mobile dies a permanent death someday. I would really land up in tough times.

I again get this rockstar idea, trying to convince myself – “come on dude.. you are a salesman.. use salesman jugaad”

I ask,or did it sound more like a demand “sharmaji, ek baar apna phone dena”.

Sharmaji, who by now was relieved that I had left his charger did not know that I had more serious plans. He replies,

“sorry sir, isme balance nahi hai.”

Okay, I am not interested in using up your balance.

“nahi mere paas bhi number nahi hai.. mujhe to kuch aur chaiye”, i chuckle.

Very reluctantly he hands me over the phone, and just stands beside me. This phone really means a lot to him probably. I am sure, even a stock broker would not take his own phone so seriously.

I start removing the battery, and sharmaji screams as soon as I open the compartment of his phone.

“yeh kya kar rahe ho.. kharab ho jaega!”, he is visibly worried.

“kuch nahi hoga. Aapka phone sahi salamt aapko wapas kar dunga”, I try explaining him calmly.

Yes. The salesman jugaad has worked yet again. I call up TB from my mobile having sharmaji’s battery, and TB gets back home in 5 minutes. I can now go home in peace to open doors.

After such a frustrating day, a person sure needs some vent out. I change into shorts and go out with puneet to CCD. After a relaxing black coffee, without sugar (no! not inspired from love aaj kal, I am addicted to this right since my 4 seasons days in vizag), it feels completely calm.

I am ready for the next day, ofcourse after a good night’s sleep. It seems like days since I have slept.

Thus ended an eventful Monday, after a very good weekend. Now you know where the term Monday morning blues came from

Online CAT: Further Update

2009-08-15T04:57:00.001+05:30

Okay, I am in corporate life now, and I sell chocolates for a living. My job is to ensure that chocolate are available in every nook and corner of my territory and plentiful in that. But the passion of teaching still lies within and CAT coaching is something I have been doing for sometime now, and I think it is my moral responsibility to keep my readers updated about any new happenings in this arena. Especially after it being declared that CAT is going to be online from this syear, and I am sure this has created lots of apprehensions and doubts in the minds of the aspirants. So some more dope on this –

This is from an article on watblog about the recent update.

We all know that CAT is about to go online from this year, and in all probability it is going to be a computer based test.

The Common Admission Test (CAT) after recent months of speculation will finally be held Online this year. IIM has announced further details regarding Online CAT conducted from this year. CAT would no longer be a one day – one session appearance test but would now be conducted in 10 day long schedule with two test sessions in a day.

CAT-2009 will be held during November 28, 2009 to December 7, 2009. A candidate will be given choice in terms of test date, session (morning/afternoon), and venue across thirty centers (cities) all over India, subject to availability.

To appear for Online CAT, candidates will need to purchase scratch-vouchers from the designated bank branches, and later register online for CAT 2009. Vouchers would go on sale from 9 September 2009.

Some more frequently asked questions about CAT 2009

When is the advertisement for CAT 2009 going to appear?

CAT Advertisement will appear in leading newspapers on Sunday, 30 August 2009.

Once the advertisement appears, is one expected to buy CAT bulletin from designated banks?

No. One does not have to buy a bulky CAT bulletin. We want to go paperless. A prospective candidate buys a scratch-voucher from the designated bank branches, and, later registers online for CAT 2009.

When does the sale of voucher start and end?

Sale of vouchers starts on Wednesday, 9 September 2009 at designated bank branches and their associate outlets. The sale ends on Thursday, 1 October 2009.

When and how do I register for CAT 2009 after buying the voucher?

Online registration for CAT 2009 will also begin on Wednesday, 9 September 2009 and end on Thursday, 1 October 2009.Instructions on access to online registration will be given in the voucher, and, detailed registration instructions will be on the CAT website.

When will CAT be held and can I choose a test date?

CAT will be held during the period Saturday, 28 November 2009 – Monday, 7 December 20009. Yes, you can choose a test date, session (morning/afternoon), and venue across thirty centers (cities) all over India, subject to availability.

Can you give more details on taking test in a CBT format?

Starting Sunday, 30 August 2009, CAT website – www.catiim.in will provide all the details.

A more comprehensive list of Online sites to help candidates are linked here.

So all the best towards your preparation for CAT, which I am sure is going on in full swing by now.

Till then, have a look at this article in TOI, and relish.

Booze flowed free for over 100 villagers, including women, who partied hard after a truck carrying foreign liquor overturned on NH-5 in Jaipur district.

Ah! Now when is such going to happen in Delhi. But what the heck? Alcochol is anyways dirt cheap in this union territory. Cheers Guys!

Mallu agzent

2009-07-31T23:50:00.000+05:30

HI All, long time. Well, have joined office and have been travelling to places the last few weeks. Presently have been posted in Delhi for my sales officer stint for three months. (in detail this weekend!!)

Landed in Mumbai first, and then set out to some hill resort near Pune. Was back to Mumbai for a couple of days, and then packed off to Cochin for two days. Back to Mumbai, just to catch the next morning flight to Chandigarh. After an amazing week in Chandigarh and its adjoining places, am here back in Mumbai.

The last couple of weeks were filled with immense learnings, and loadsa fun. As they say it here, am presently in the honeymoon period of my job. Here I got to interact to a lot of people, industry veterans, Big time marketers and my colleagues – the purple stars.

Access to internet has been minimal due to frequent travelling, and so am starved of any time to blog. Any odd access to a computer with internet connectivity is just spent on accessing mails. So here, I am posting a long time back received mail on mallu accent. The recent trip to cochin re affirmed this mail, and the agzent.

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "

17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.

I am sure you had fun reading this, it is an even better experience reading it along with munching on Benana Chibs.

Now I hope no mallu comes over with a bottle of kokanet oil to slam over!! No offence indended guys!!

Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea

2009-06-28T17:11:00.002+05:30

I am about to join corporate next week, and here I come across this picture which aptly defines the current job scenario. The placement scene seen across campuses back then in march said it all. Just about a year back, these very companies were thronging the campus for a slot, and this time over even after a lot of cajoling and sweet talk they relented – Hiring on freeze.

Forget hiring, many of the companies are actually firing away their employees, and some 'virtualizing' them ala Mahindra Satyam.

This picture, got on a mail forward, very aptly describes the current market scenario. One can't be like the man jumping off, due to the huge liabilities attached and a very remote chance of a job.

Also, it is getting tougher with every passing day to continue in the same job with cost cuts, salary cuts, virtualized and all. It is like being in the position of the fish.

Why am I ranting on the negatives of the job market just before joining a job? Nah! I am all charged and decked up for the new role. This holiday has really been long, and now I want to work.!!

‘Online’ CAT, and nothing else!!

2009-06-24T21:03:00.002+05:30

I have been coaching for CAT for the last few months, and think it is my duty to keep my students updated about any new developments in this arena. More so this year, with the CAT going online, and many of you having loadsa questions and queries.

Here I bumped into this article, where prometric - the body organizing CAT this year spoke to an online CAT portal and clears lots of doubts.

Prometric has for the first time revealed that computer-based CAT 2009 will actually allow test takers to "scroll back and forth" during the exam. This confirmation has a lot of significance for the thousands of MBA aspirants taking the test this year.

This implies that CAT 2009 will not be a 'computer-adaptive' test, but will only be a 'computer-based' test. A computer-adaptive test offers a new question based on answer to the previous question.

Thus, one thing for clear, answer to a question will not matter in answering the next question. So it is just like answering CAT like last year, the only difference being the new medium of a computer, rather than the traditional paper and pencil.

Some more interesting insights from the interview are like the information that the total contract value for conducting the exam is a whopping 40 million USD (a cool 200 crore rupees!!). Also, Prometric is assuming responsibility for all aspects of the CAT computer-based test, including item authoring, test development, test administration, scoring and reporting services. Prometric will add resources, including dedicated test development and support staff in India for handling the project in a better manner.

About the security in administering the test, prometric ensures that enough measures are being taken for ensuring strict security. All test centres hosting CAT 2009 will employ Prometric's identity management (biometric) solution, digital image capture of all candidates and digital video recording of all testing activities

Regarding the questions, the pattern, comparison of the CAT with GMAT, and other such 'confidential' issues, prometric remained silent. Also, it preferred to remain mum on the amount to be charged by the IIMs for the test.

Thus, aspirants who have been thinking of tweaking their strategies, and waiting for the notification has this clear – Computer exam, that is the only change. Nothing more!!!

Marriage invitation

2009-06-22T11:39:00.011+05:30

Nah! Keep the rumour mongers busy, and give them fodder. That is what I seem to be doing, by this provocative title. Before you jump to conclusions, I clarify that I am not getting married, and this is not about my wedding invitation.

Bumped into a very creative marriage invite, and am sure a complete movie can be made out of it. The invite is that elaborate.

For better quality of the pic. click on the pic, and then zoom to get a proper view.

With this much of innovation in the card itself, this guy should have tried getting married in zero gravity condition.

Selling Education – Recession Proof Business

2009-06-17T23:58:00.002+05:30

I have been home for the last three months or so, working for a coaching institute here as their part time faculty. Now this is something that I really enjoy, right after I completed 10^th standard. Giving tuitions to neighboring kids, trying to tutor my younger brother, and also giving gyan to whosoever cares to listen. So, teaching is something that comes naturally, and after a stressful day, spending some time with the students, interacting with them, and learning at the same time gives me a wonderful kick.

I realize that teaching is no more an honorable role that it was previously. Teachers can build up people, a society or a nation through teaching (Ah! Big talk!), and it goes without doubt saying that teachers are valuable assets in our country. The basic job of a teacher is to inspire and enhance the confidence of the student, and to bring out his/her hidden qualities. Many more basic personality traits like honesty, integrity, ethics, etc… are inspired by a teacher, but here I am just relating to teachers at a coaching institute, and the institute in general.

One thing that I have been observing for these three months is the mass commoditizing of education, as if it was something to be sold in the market. The commercialization of education, carried out by these coaching institutes, and then the B Schools is altering or disrupting the teaching and learning process itself. Advertising and other commercial activities in order to increase profit just negates all the goods of a nice education. It is like:

Want an MBA?

Join our coaching institute. More than half the junta at IIMs presently is from our institute. (How many were regular students? How many of them were actual students at all?)

We have approved and audited results from the biggest auditory services firm in the country, confirming our
claims (Okay! I agree to your claims, but what is the percentage of the people who do not make it anywhere?)

Sitting in the office, I look at despair students with their clueless parents, hanging their big money bags under their vests, trying to look for some information regarding further education. What happens? Are they shown the right path by the counselors present there? Obviously No. Infact, they are marketed some or the other course available at the coaching center.

Sir, an MBA today gives you the highest ROI, Says one of the ads at the center.

Cool! Maybe right, but what about the interest of the candidate? Just because the money here is good, a possible excellent scientist is sold off to become a mediocre manager.

"I think my son should do an M.Tech after engineering? He is very bright in his core subject." asks the parent (say Mr. Despondar) very curiously.

The counselor retaliates, "No, An M.tech even in the IITs do not offer you a great salary, sir", as if it is a sin to do an M.Tech.

"He should rather try for MS in the US."

That is because the counselor realizes that to pursue M.tech the student would have to prepare for GATE, an entrance exam for which they do not provide coaching. So she would be missing out on a possible student.

"Nah, that would be too expensive. I don't think I have the funds to send him to the US", exclaims the parent.

"Oh! That is okay. Then maybe he could consider CAT", the counselor replies, cleverly leaving out the information that CAT is for MBA, and not for any technical course.

The parent is now totally confused – M.Tech, GATE, MS, GRE and now this new bird called CAT. What the hell is this?

The counselor now starts off, "CAT is for an MBA in the IIMs, sir"

"They are like the best colleges in india, and gives you huge salary opportunities and opens up wide horizons... blah! Blah!"

This is because, the center offers training for CAT, and she would get a high commission on admitting a student for CAT.

After about half an hour of detailed brain washing and hard selling CAT, she manages to convince the parent that CAT is the best thing to have happened to them. The son, all this while has no say, and even now when Mr. Despondar is totally convinced, he gets no chance. Typical Indian middle class, where the parents try pushing all their dreams and decisions on their child – right from the choice of the colour of the bike, to the girl the child gets married to.

The parent pays the hefty fees of around 20k, emptying his hard earned bulging money bag, and walks out happily and satisfied. As if his son has already made it into the IIMs.

Now, the student – the son, who was actually interested in going ahead with technical studies, is forced to write CAT. There, the country loses one more potential scientist and there is born one more mismatch citizen who would always crib his life that he is not in a job he loves. Thanks to the coaching center.

The only mistake being – His dad ended up at an institute which offers CAT coaching and not GATE coaching. Similarly, many a students interested in MBA, end up writing GATE, thanks to TEA.

p.s.: More posts to continue regarding the same topic – Education at sale.

Disclaimer: All opinions expressed are personal and my own.

Talk @ Community meetings

2009-06-14T16:24:00.001+05:30

About three more weeks at home and then am off. Off to the land of dreams – Mumbai (or so it is called!). The last three months here at home were amazing, and I had a wonderful time doing nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Staying at home compels you to attend so many of these weddings, family gatherings, community meetings, which given a chance you would not want to be even seen around. I have attended hordes of such gatherings, weddings, parties, etc... Which were not really in my liking? One of these was the community meet we had a couple of weeks back.

I have nothing specific against these so called social gatherings, and it is really good that people do come forward to meet up, socialize, and talk to each other. After all, this is what differentiates us – The Human race, from the rest of the animals – SOCIAL. (Hated it as a subject during school!)

I made up my mind that I would try to be as social as possible, and try striking conversations with anyone and everyone, trying to know more people. Thus fulfilling the very purpose of such meets – Socializing. After all, you are supposed to talk @ Community meetings, meant for talking.

The funny thing is the very amusing behavior of people around you, and their talks, and more importantly their topics of discussion. The whole community members can be classified into many categories and each category would converse with every other possible category, so doing the math gives a whole lot of permutations and combinations of talks. Here I would specifically like to comment on some types of conversations I overheard in that evening of ennui.

Hair Dye Talk

Two 40 something males, with one small kid in the hand, and running after a not so small kid, while the wife is busy cribbing about life to the fellow wives.

Mid aged uncle 1 (M1): Hey, have you been to habib's recently? (As if Habib's is the latest restaurant in town, and every normal human is expected to frequent it)

M2: yeah, was there for a haircut. (His hair looks even worse than what a normal roadside barber would do. Seems like he has gone to those barbers who sit on the pavements with one nice chair, and a mirror in hand.)

M1: Oh! Sad, the hair cut there is not so good (Laughing within himself, proclaiming his victory), you should have rather gone to "Toppers – The saloon" for that.

M1: The hair colouring at habib's is really good. (Now trying to show off his latest hair colour, which removes all doubt that we are evolutes of the monkey race).

M2: Oh! Really, that is so good. Your hair really looks nice, what colour is that? (Chuckling within himself, laughing at the colour choice)

M1: It is the latest one available, the latest trend (I am so sure he himself did not know about it).

You know how much it costs, a full 1200 bucks for a bottle. (Getting back to his bragging mode),

add another 500 bucks for this colour of the streak (trying to show his streak, after he realizes that M2 is not really impressed with the 1200 bucks)

M2: Hmmm!

M1: Also, an additional 500 bucks is the service fee there (Still trying to prove his point that it has costed him a bomb to get that hair),

but well, I know the guy there (Now trying to show his affluence),

so it got settled in 400 bucks itself. (A sense of victory!)

Call Center Talk

I then move on to a younger group, when one of my cousin signals a Hi, and invites me to join them My aim of being social led me to this group. A group of 20 something youngsters (My age group!), with one common factor binding them all – They all work at HSBC, the call center. So obviously all the talks revolve around the processes there, the work, colleagues and HSBC, HSBC, HSBC... So even there in that group I end up as a total misfit, and just remain a mute listener.

The thing with vizag is - there is only this one call center of repute and MNC settings - HSBC. All BCom, BBM and other graduates, who know they would not want to work for long (Family Business!), but at the same time want access to the latest and the best happening people in town, join HSBC. This pretty much includes more or less everyone, of this age, in our community (Sindhi's)!

One typical thing about all these 20 something youngsters was their dressing sense. Updated with the latest trends, the best brands, the "I don't care attitude", and the complete urban metro look. Too much money at too young age I guess. Just a look at their mobile phone models and their bikes (or cars!), makes you wonder how much are they paid!

The talk here would typically go off with process, bands, Telemarketing, outbound calls, inbound calls, US, UK, Lead generation, HR, Customer phone sales executive, PM, AMO.. and so many other terms that I could not understand. One interesting thing here in this group was – though they all worked in night shifts, and many of them never ever met in office due to different timings, different processes and all – everyone knew everyone. And one thing that they all loved doing – gossiping and bitching about their fellow colleagues.

A talk between two girls in that group –

Girl 1: Hey, know what? That guy Phani is going around with that bi*ch Sheetal.

Girl 2: What? Really (With an equally snobbish attitude, still trying to arrange her mascara and a flabbergasted look)

G1: yes, last heard they were found in the office restroom making out.

G2: My Gawd! Tell ya, she is a total bit^& and she is great in trapping innocent guys like Phani. Poor Phani.

G1: yeah, only til last month she was with yadav, and their relationship seemed so intense!

…. The talks go on, and they describe stuff, not recommended for this blog. (the parental control would get invoked!)

You don't need a degree in Astronomical physics to understand the happenings. Sometimes, this makes me wonder – should I have joined HSBC during these three long months. It could have got me into the most "happening" circuit of vizag. Many a things could have happened!

Real Estate Talk

Now coming to the third group of people and their talks.

If the previous group was busy talking about the virtual estate, here we have over sized, pot bellied and bald over aged men discussing the latest real estate trends in the city. It comprises of an elderly group of people, most of who are very much into their own businesses, and have developed this new found love for the spiraling real estate prices. Each one of them thinks themselves to be a master of their art, and without any gusto declare their proficiency in the field.

This group compulsorily consists of one rich Baniya businessman, who after spending all his life selling sweets and pakodas, has now entered the real estate business. A building there, a shopping complex here, and selling it off to people from the same community. So this is like an ideal place for him to market his products with complete alacrity free of cost. And also, most of the times hook in customers there and then.

The talk here is too boring and diplomatic, with it starting off with Diabetes and ways to avoid or control it. Then slowly drifting towards the current market scenario, and then the Baniya halwai shifts the discussion to the booming real estate and why everyone should invest in that. After setting up this base, starts the pitching of his properties and his construction sites.

Many more groups, and their varied talks – a complete book can be written on this topic.

Alas! Amongst all these different noises was a poor blogger, who felt so totally out place, and could do nothing else but just wander from one group to another. Wondering – "Why the hell am I here?"

Oh! By the way, I too got smitten for the maddening rush to acquire the personal facebook page id, and succumbed to it. My ID on facebook is http://www.facebook.com/bharatjhurani That adds one more web address. The others being

iBlog @       http://jbharat.blogspot.com
Linkedin:    http://www.facebook.com/bharatjhurani
Twitter:        http://twitter.com/bharatjhurani

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/bharatjhurani

Bharat Jhurani Coaching Center: Attracting women

2009-06-06T12:29:00.003+05:30

My holiday season still continues, and will be so for one long month. I am in Vizag since mid march and that implies more than 70 days here, with about 30 more to go. In spite of these 100 days of nothingness, I am sure; I have not regretted it a bit. These were like the best days I could ever have. Just sitting at home, doing nothing all day, and immersing in all the activities that I have always wanted to do. I am so sure, that these are the best days till date.

I and vamsi went to Hyderabad on Tuesday, to attend an engineering friends wedding there. It was awesome in Hyderabad, and we had a great time. My engineering friends, and then friends from L, got to meet them all, and spend some amazing time together. More about that, in detail, in the next post.

In these two months, I have seen many people trying different ways to impress on women, and try to make a mark to attract them. I am no love-guru, nor an expert in this arena, but I think it is time that I share my little something knowledge and experience with the young brigade.

Before I begin, try answering these questions - Why do women you see out at pubs sometimes dress so SEXY? Let's think about it from the woman's perspective: An attractive woman gets attention from men all the time, no matter WHAT she's wearing.

Attractive women don't have to "accent" their beauty in order to attract men. A perfectly beautiful woman gets expensive jewellery and the latest trendy outfit for herself after shopping all day. A tall, stunning model spends all day at the mall shopping for just the right high-heeled shoes. A naturally beautiful woman spends hours in front of the mirror getting ready to go out, and puts on tons of makeup. For what?

Could it possibly be worth all the extra time and effort, spending hours to get that "extra little bit" of beauty, when a woman already has "more than enough"? Well, whoever said, women makes sense! J

Maximize the chances

Let's imagine that an attractive woman is getting ready to go to a party. There are going to be a hundred men and a hundred women at this party. If there are going to be a hundred men at this party, it follows that a few of those men are going to be the "best" ones.

She wants the "best" one, obviously. And that guy sure has options, so she needs to "fix herself up". She just wants to increase her chances of getting that guy.

Competition

Attractive women tend to be very competitive, so she would try her best to gain an edge over others, such that as soon as she enters the party, the "top guys", who have options, glance at her and make a "mental note" to talk to her later. The other women give her, what we call, "the bitch look".

Attention and Approval

Now that we are aware of some of the reasons why women go to great lengths to make themselves look more beautiful, let's talk about the one reason that has the most value to you guys. This reason holds the secret of actually attracting beautiful women. ATTENTION and APPROVAL.

It just so happens that an attractive woman has a sub conscious – a very accurate indicator of whether or not "the group" likes and approves of her. It's the amount of ATTENTION she gets. If a woman is getting a lot of attention, it keeps her feeling "OK". She knows that on a deep, primal level when she's accepted by the group and that she's going to stay healthy and have a good chance.

But this particular concept has a dark side to it, like everything good? Just like anything else that triggers feelings/emotions (very addictive chemicals); attention and approval can lead to a literal addiction.

It's like money, fame, power… all the famous ones… one just can't get enough. If you're a beautiful woman who is always getting attention and approval from men and you meet a man who doesn't give you that attention and approval, it has an instant and powerful impact.

Thus, if you want to learn how to attract women, then you need to get a clue about what creates the idea in her mind that you are one of the most "desirable" men.

How can you do that?

Become rich and famous
Have those killer Hrithik look
Instigate an ATTRACTION inside of her.

The third one seems to be the easier one!!

Here's the interesting thing when you attract women: When you do it, she can't control it.

If you're interacting with an unusually attractive woman, it's very important that you don't communicate to her that you are overwhelmed by her beauty or that you can't control yourself. Furthermore, if you actively control the amount of attention that you give her, and you don't show her "approval" too quickly (and even show her some disapproval), you'll often create a powerful interest inside of her.

And why is this?

Well, think about it for a minute. Imagine a super hot walking down 10 Downing Street (the local pub). For the first two hours, you keep having guys walk up to her and say, "hi, you are looking good" and "Did we not meet in the last party", and "… ". Every guy that comes within ten feet of her can't stop looking at you, and the ones that talk to her make it clear that they would be willing to do anything for her.

Then she meets a guy (You) that isn't like any of these other guys at all.

You are clearly not impressed with her beauty, and do not care a damn. She can't tell if you like her or not, and thus feel challenged by you (girls are competitive). For some reason she can't explain, she starts getting a gut level attraction for you (Remember K3G, the super hot POOH exclaiming - "kaun hai yeh, jisne peeche mud kar mujhe nahi dekha.. Who is this??"

Now what does she do? That's right: She gives him all of her attention and approval… hoping that you will give her some in return. In other words, you switch from the one doing the pursuing to the one being pursued.

This is how you attract women. You become the pursued, which is an art form.

So, now you are all equipped with the artillery and are ready for the battle. I am so sure, you would return with all victory and conquest after your next visit to 10D.

Well, the only difference, there is a high probability that the victory and triumph would be for the opposite party, and you would be just left with atonement.

Well, if you ask an IIM guy, who coaches for CAT about tips to impress women, this is what you should expect right?? So, guys, stop reading this, and look for your own unique way to develop that panache and the flamboyance to attract women.

Else, you can just follow my path, and write CAT rather.

P.S.: While, we here are looking for trivial means to attract women, Sharad Yadav has a massive plan to do that, and threatens to even lay down his life for the cause of women.

(Article inspired from seduction-chronicles.net)

ZooZoo’istan

2009-05-24T16:31:00.003+05:30

Tonight after a battle for more than a month, the best team is about to be crowned. The IPL final is scheduled for tonight, and DC and RCB – the bottom two teams in the last season are battling out for the top honours. I am sure this would be some soothing news for SRK, and his KKR. They can expect to sweep the IPL, next year.

It was a wonderful 5 week odd thing, and a complete entertainer. The evening talk at the beach was totally filled with animated expressions of the previous day matches, and we even had to go to the extent of rescheduling our timings at the beach, depending on the IPL matches.

Who won, who lost? Who was the gainer, who was the loser? These are all cases for analysis by better cricket enthusiasts than myself, who just watches the match if there is no better thing on TV, or the remote control happens to be in my brother's control. Whoever wins tonight - The clear winner all along the way is - the ZOOZOO's. Yes, welcome to "ZOOZOOistan."

Vodafone has managed to come out with such fine simple ads, that these slim legged egg headed creatures have caught the imagination of the whole nation. Everywhere people are talking about this new mascot. Forty-four years after legendary filmmaker Satyajit Ray created the iconic dwarf Ang, which was adapted by Hollywood director Steven Spielberg as the E.T., India now has a new cult of queer beings - the Zoozoos.

In the first place - What is a zoozoo?

Zoo´zoo`

(Zool.) The wood pigeon.

This is the dictionary meaning.

Some find these cute characters similar to aliens, others say they are just cartoon characters while there is a huge majority who just does not know what to make out of it. Yet, the white, funny creatures have been invading us on the huge screens all through the IPL.

Vodafone has managed it again – last year's IPL saw HAPPY TO HELP, to promote their customer service, and this year the ZooZoo's to convey the value added services (VAS) offering in each of the commercials.

The best part being the many number of different ads being aired. About 30 odd ads are having been created so as to maintain the interest and create a spur. It's no mean feat to unleash so many commercials at a go, with the risk of consumers not grasping them as fast as the brand churns them out.

Media spends and visibility for brands peak during the IPL, so no doubt Vodafone obviously wanted a piece of the pie. Ogilvy – the ad agency behind these characters and ads, experimented with several characters and finally took its love for the term 'egghead' one step too far, creating characters that don the colour white (with black dots for eyes and a mouth), have heads resembling eggs, and disproportionately thin bodies. You egghead!

The idea was to tell the VAS stories in a world akin to, yet different, from humans. The creatures were then given a characterisation: they are to lead simple lives, speak a language of their own (something that sounds like gibberish), move in a certain way, and even emote like human beings, with big frowns or big grins to do the trick. The execution is almost like emoticons.

The naming of them as "the Zoozoos", has no science to it – the name is just something fun, memorable and catchy, and not a clever one that's difficult to pronounce.

Zoozoo trivia: Ironically, nowhere in the communication does the Zoozoo name pop up.

Making of the Zoozoo

As thought initially, No, they aren't animated characters. They are human beings who were made to wear body suits. The design of the characters is such that one gets fooled into thinking it is animation. It is 'live' animation!" The emails of the pictures of the people behind the masks have been doing rounds of late.

A fabric with wrinkles would have shown when the characters moved, thereby shattering the illusion of animation, so a more thicker fabric was chosen as it was more practical.

Zoozoo trivia: human head would typically reach up to the mouth level of this giant Zoozoo head.

The thin limbs, contrasted with big bellies and a bulbous head, all add to the illusion that these creatures are 'smaller' than humans. Sets were created to suit the size of the Zoozoos. Cinematically, this 'size' was a trick: the creatures look smaller than they actually are on screen, to portray a different world of sorts. For this, the speed of shooting was altered. They were shot on a high-speed format to make them look the size that they do.

Even in the digital world

In the digital space, Zoozoos are currently featured on a specially created microsite, where one can partake in quizzes and contests, including the 'What kind of Zoozoo are you?' quiz. Each Zoozoo has a unique set of characteristics and traits allotted to it. The microsite also allows for goodies to be downloaded (including wallpapers, screensavers and ringtones), and offers details on the IPL. With a specially created YouTube channel on the site, the TVCs are provided there for people to watch and share.

Apart from the microsite, a Zoozoo fan page has been created on Facebook, which has more than 220,807 fans (on Sunday, May 24, 2009 at 4:09PM. Dude, the number is increasing exponentially every day!), who have access to special tag-me images, Zoozoo sounds (such as Zoozoo laughter and music tracks) and ad previews.

The page creators are clearly facebook savvy. They have uploaded albums, shared links and even created innovative zoozoo type products based on popular trends on facebook. That ludicrous "tag your friends into this sheet of cartoons depicting personality stereotypes" craze for instance. They have created two (admittedly very cute) pictures various zoozoos depicting personality stereotypes for people to tag. Hats off. Not only are the page managers homing in on a popular trend on the social networking site, they are also pulling off a clever piece of viral marketing. Now as more and more people tag their friends on these pages, it would just increase the brand recall of the campaign.

People are also following Zoozoos on Twitter and get updates whenever new commercials go on air.

So, from the famous hutch pug, to zoozoo's now, Vodafone here has a complete winner.

Awards

The cannes and other advertising and marketing awards can wait. The zoozoo's have already earned its first award - People for Ethical Treatment for Animals (PETA) 2009 Glitterbox Award, for taking advantage of humane alternatives to the use of real animals in their ZooZoo ads.

The "Pug" commercial led to viewers purchasing pugs, and breeders cranking out as many puppies as they could. Later, when the appeal wore off, the dogs ended up in shelters or were abandoned. So you know what needs to be donw for the award:

Create an ad using animals and publicize them
Create your next ad again with the animals.
One more with the same animals..
Now create an ad, with equally random creatures but no animals.

While the zoozoo's are there busy creating a spur for Vodafone, there is this one guy who just can't keep out of trouble – Varun Gandhi. Even after winning the election, he realized he was not being talked about anymore, and there he is misbehaving with journalists.

King of Good Times

2009-05-20T00:34:00.001+05:30

Now I seriously think Mr. Mallya should be paying me some freelancing stipend. Not only have I contributed a lot of amount towards driving the sales up, now I am also publicizing it and its tagline. Well, Mr. mallya is a big man, and is the winner of the just concluded elections, so I don't want to pester him much. (Note to myself: I think I should still ask for the stipend!)

Yes, without even contesting the elections, this tagline of Kingfisher - King of Good times (that very well holds with its chief promoter) is the true winner. After the verdict declared on Saturday, everything good has been happening in the country.

I seriously hope SRK is wrong, when he says, "Hamari life bhi in picture ki tarah hoti hai.. Anth mein sab theek ho hi jata hai.. HAPPIES ENDINGS. Aur agar sab theek nahi, to picture.. Abhi baaki hai mere dost."(Our lives are so much like the movies. In the end everything is gotta get right... HAPPY ENDING. And if everything is not all right, the movie is still not done my friend!).

I don't want the movie to end; don't want it to all be over so abruptly. I know, everything is not all right still. There are still so many things that need to be mended. That is the best part of human lives and society, it is so fragmented and complex that it can never be all homogeneous anytime, and thus, the movie would never end!

Yeah, now what are these supposedly good things that have occurred – I have quit beer and have just joined a gym. (Great, that could be like the best thing to happen forever, but alas! It has not. Told you na, there are still a lot of things to be mended.

STABLE GOVERNMENT

I don't which party would be a better leader at the center. Whether L.K. Advani or Dr. manmohan Singh would make a better prime minister. If UPA is a better alliance than NDA (The third front and the fourth front would have been good supporters and bargainers). One thing is clear from the verdict – the government is stable, and there would not be unnecessary horse trading and constant threats to withdraw support. The Indian junta has shown its maturity by voting with complete responsibility and the UPA now has a lot to deliver. There could be no better situation than this, when the whole world is looking upon India and China in these times of recession.

Some obvious revelations:
Regional parties have been shown their place, national parties have regained their dominance
The results are a vote for stability and good governance
The results are a vote for "reforms" and the Congress-led UPA should, therefore, fast forward "reforms
The nation has rejected the "communalist" BJP

Jai HO!

The Sikkim Democratic Front (SDF) again sweeping the Assembly elections (they won all 32 seats this time, like the last time in 2004)? They are not likely to lose any seat even in 2014. The opposition (Congress) has no base and the party has no grassroots in Sikkim at all. The SDF will continue to retain power for atleast another 20 years surely. With Chamling at the helm, the SDF will continue to get support of the Sikkim people for more development of the state in all areas (Source: Varun's blog)

There is no power LEFT

The left have always been a pain in the road to development in this capitalistic society. By voting them out completely the Indian junta have shown that they would want to be a completely capitalistic society, and consumerism should be at its core. After all, the king of good times is something that the left hated completely. We can no more live in a society which says equality for all. Where would the entrepreneurial zeal come in from in such circumstances? The whole country would turn into a PSU where everyone knows that the promotion is a direct function of one's political contacts or the number of years put in, and the quality or amount of work has no say at all!

MARKET SENTIMENT IS UP

India's financial markets surged on the first working day after the results were out, with benchmark stock indices halted after hitting an initial 10% circuit limit, as a decisive mandate handed to the United Progressive Alliance in federal elections raised hopes of a stable government and progress on economic and market reforms. Morgan Stanley now expects the Sensex companies to post aggregate earnings growth of 2.5%, against its prior forecast of a 10% contraction, this fiscal year. It upped its Sensex target for 2009 to 15,300.

UPA's clean sweep win cheers the markets
The ruling Congress party wins the most since 1991
Trading on both the BSE and the NSE has been halted
Creates history; two upper circuits in one day
Extends its year-to-date gain to 48 per cent
Sensex +14,200 and the Nifty +4,300 first time after about eight months

Investor wealth soared by a whopping Rs four lakh crore within seconds of opening of trade. Now all this has given a new confidence to the retail investors and the common junta of the country. They would again start investing in the stock markets, like it was in the boom time till mid 2008. Also, the soaring of the wealth exponentially and the positive outlook given by most rating agencies and analysts would lift the moods still up. As my friend DN, a financial analyst in making, notes," Ya, it is a rally, but a sustainable rally. And yes...the fundamentals are not the same; the political risk has drastically decreased". Yes indeed, the political risk has decreased dramatically. Lalu could be a lot of pain in the ass otherwise.

LTTE chief dead

Now this is like a typical bollywood movie unfolding for the congress. First it's historic win since 1991, and then the chief accused for the assassination of its ex chief Rajiv Gandhi – husband of the current supremo, is shot dead. Prabhakaran's death signals the end of the nearly three decade-long civil-ethnic war that cost the island nation the lives of thousands of innocent civilians. Good news.

KKR finally wins without Divine intervention

Kolkata knight riders have been facing rough weather right from the beginning of the second season of IPL. Everything that could possible go wrong, did go wrong. First, the thing about the fakeiplplayer, and the tiffs within the team. The stand of having more than one captain for the season. The superover fiasco in the match against R Royals. Everything seems so bad, that it was seemingly apparent that KKR would break the record of DC of having the least number of points. (KKR had 3 til yesterday, while DC scored a dismal 4 points in IPL 1)

But, as the king of good times reigned, and it preferred helping KKR rather than its in house RC, Balaji blessed KKR with a victory.Belligerent half-centuries by Brendon McCullum and Brad Hodge took the Kolkata Knight Riders to a spectacular win against Chennai Super Kings. Know, it is not going to help KKR much, but now atleast the Bengalis can have their head up for their Dada, and also face the Deccanites competing in the lowest points category (The honour would still remain with Deccan!)

Well, the thing that KKR could finally win without any divine intervention has met flak with many religious people. Afterall, it was balaji who steered KKR to victory, and Balaji is the lord at the Tirupati abode. So there still is some divine intervention.

Now all of this ofcourse spells out good news all over the media, and I hope this spell continues for a long time to come.

The Biggest Reality Show – Elections 2009

2009-05-15T13:04:00.002+05:30

I sometimes wonder why the IPL is so famous, and what is the core reason for its success in becoming such a big brand with the first edition itself? It spurred "marriage between Bollywood and cricket", now add politics to it and it becomes a bigger brand, and it would continue to draw more crowds.

Trivia: Dhoni's brother has joined politics, if you are searching for a recent link to politics and cricket.

Why? The Indian Junta is crazy only about these three – Movies, Cricket and politics. Mix them and you have a bestseller (idea for my 4^th book!). So in such terms, this summer was perfect to lift up the spirits of the common Indian with a lot of entertainment available on news itself. The IPL, and the Indian Elections – Perfect match. Attempts to mix these two were futile, as each was worried about the others rising popularity, so much that the politicians or the authority concerned drove out the IPL to South Africa to set the stage free for the politicos.

The irony here is that elections itself were blatantly given as the reason for shoving IPL off, and along with it, its revenue, to South Africa. The Slap on the back came when people realized that South Africa also was having their own elections, but was more than enthusiastic to accommodate IPL. (Why should it be called Indian PL anymore?). Considering the Security agencies incompetency, it would be no surprise if the 2015 republic day parade and the hoisting of the Indian Flag ceremony (is it allowed?) was held in London.

Now getting to the elections 2009 – they have been very well timed, and have given lots of fun and fodder for talk during the past two months. The last two months were like the most jobless period I have ever been in, and thanks to IPL and Elections, I was not really very bored.

This election was no less than a war, albeit in a different way than the neighboring Sri Lankans. The elections seemed like a full fledged movie, and I am sure there is a potential for at least a reality show on prime time covering all the politicos. Action, Drama, Emotions, Comedy, and loads of trauma are perfectly juxtaposed to give out the correct masala for the "breaking" news.

Of course, the climax is still awaited and I am sure my brother is waiting even more for that coveted date – may 16^th. It is his birthday, and last year he was gifted a sony Digicam. So, his anxiousness is justified.

Now a complete summary of the happenings in the movie till now, like they say – "Ab tak, Kahani… mein ……"

It all started off with the big weights – BJP and Congress. Advani's blog, and subsequent online foray by everyone worth his salt, wrote a complete new chapter in the way a party or its candidate be promoted.

The UPA faced its first confidence vote in the Lok Sabha, after the CPI (M) led Left Front withdrew support over India approaching the IAEA for the Indo-US civilian nuclear agreement. UPA won with a 19 vote record victory. The government winning the vote of confidence proved crucial, since this allowed Manmohan Singh, to finish his full term.

The split of the communists from the ruling party led to considerable fourth estate space, with speculations rife if the government would stay or fall. However, the septuagarian Advani ji had long plans in hand and wanted to be in competition with complete preparation.

Then, the inflation, which shook all the parties and everyone, made people forget about the nuclear deal, as this was hitting their pockets. All parties joined hands to control and also started blaming each other. The UPA had so many divine interventions, that sometimes it makes one wonder – were these events orchestrated by UPA itself? Inflation, Stock market sliding, Mumbai attacks, Malegaon …

The soon to retire N Gopalaswami, chief election officer wanted to achieve some place in history, and so he announced the polling dates in five phases for the 15th Lok Sabha all over the country.

The competition was tight - UPA vs. NDA. Manmohan Singh vs. L.K. Advani

Now the stage was set, the actors ready, and thus began the biggest reality show in India. The actors wanted to play it independently and the UPA was again disintegrated back to congress with very few alliances left with them. Same thing happened with NDA, leaving BJP alone.

The biggest hit was in Andhra Pradesh (My Home State), when Mega Star Chiranjeevi launched his own party Praja Rajyam Party without joining any of the existing party. The veteran acting schools – Congress and TDP were shaken, as Chiru commanded a huge popularity and history could be repeated. (NTR, founder of TDP, entered politics in 1984 when his popularity as an actor was at its peak. The elections was a landslide victory for TDP then)

Now, the split acting schools had to form something common to brave the behemoths called BJP and Congress, so they formed the third front, with JD chief Deve Gowda gathering all parties and waking up the third front - AIADMK, PMK, CPI, CPM, TDP, RSP, Forward block, JDS, TRS, BSP…

Behenji, the popular Mayawati of UP (My state of residence for two years), was rising in charts. It was rumored that she wanted to be the PM candidate, for the third front. This rumor was later calmed with the pretext that it would be discusses later after results. (It is common knowledge that that the decision would have resulted that the party with highest seats would have the PM post, the next highest could get Home, and so on...)

Now, if Andhra and UP were making such marches could Maharashtra be left far? NCP lead by Sharad Pawar, joined BJD to contest. BJD is now a part of Fourth Front. One more front? Fourth Front is the combination of Lalu Prasad Yadav, Mulayam Singh, Ram Vilas Paswan, Amar Singh. Add Sanjay Dutt, the General Secretary for the Samajwadi Party, who met with PRP leader Chiranjeevi, and now they too are part of the Fourth Front, more popular as Yadav Front. Now these people know that they themselves probably can't form the government, but they would form a vital support for the ruling alliance.

Yeah, my watchman is contemplating forming the 1428^th front.

Now after all the five phases of the polling are completed, and the verdict is still awaited, most of the leaders are out holidaying. They know, it would be hard core business again from tomorrow once the results are declared. Buying MPs, forging alliances, setting up people and negotiating, giving up HOME for CM, and also creation of new posts like Chairperson would be the talk in the newspapers from tomorrow.

Now during this run up to the actual polling there have quite a lot of controversies and entertaining scenes. Before we reach to the last episode of this reality show series, let us go back to the famous scenes and episodes which created lots of TRP for the series.

Jaago Re Campaign: For the first time, a lot of media was dedicated to the task of getting people realize the importance of voting. Complete Media campaigns from TATA tea, Dharma productions, and various organizations really created a stir. In Spite of many famous people showing their middle finger, there was an abysmal turnout in many constituencies. Mumbai was around 45%, Lucknow 35%…

Varun Gandhi: He was one person, who would go down in the history of Pilibhit. No MP from that place could get this much publicity to this constituency that he has brought. Pilibhit has now entered the common parlance of people, and it is identified as well as Hyderabad. All thanks to Varun, and his speeches. Of course, the Muslims are all still afraid of his party.

Black Money: We have heard about swiss bank, and seen it in movies. Swiss bank had such a glamour quotient that having an account there implied that the person has arrived in life. Well, no more. Advaniji probably realized that Swiss bank was offering too low an interest rate, and it is better to park his money elsewhere. So he vowed that he would get all the money back from the bank, to be disbursed in india.

Election Commissioner Imbroglio: N. Gopalaswami, the chief election commissioner, recommended to the President of India Pratibha Patil that Navin Chawla be sacked for behaving in a partisan manner.

This recommendation in itself was controversial, as it was unclear if the Chief Election Commissioner has the legal and constitutional right to provide such a unilateral recommendation. As expected, Chawla refused to resign as he was expected to take over the post of Chief Election Commissioner a few months later. (Eventually, he was not sacked and went on to become the next election commissioner after Gopalaswami)

The above controversy also resulted in speculation that the Election Commission was unable to agree on the polling dates, with the incumbent CEC Gopalaswami preferring that at least one phase of elections be held before his retirement. Navin Chawla, on the other hand, wanted the election to only start after Gopalaswami retired.

So, for the first time in the history of Indian politics, two different people oversaw different phases of the same election.

Jaya Prada porno cds: Jaya Prada, the SP candidate from Rampur, accused another SP leader Azam Khan of circulating material to sully her image. JayaPrada claims that Azam Khan is like her elder brother, but is sullying her image by involving in cheap campaigning. CDs and posters were released to scandalize her image. There were even reports quoting Amar Singh that Jaya Prada may commit suicide if she lost the elections.

Well, now this is some nice entertainment for Rampur inhabitants. A lot more people would be sure wishing that Azam was in their constituency or maybe, at least he should have been web savvy to circulate the content online. Also, would have been better if some other better looking younger female was contesting from Rampur.

Shoe Throwing: Indians admire everything American, and they have shown it again by aping the treatment meted out to former US president Bush. There have been many cases of shoe flinging at the politicos in the recent past. "If it fits, throw it" seems to be the mantra. Now you know why bata stocks are rising?

Some questions of thought here - Why can't journalists aim better? What happens to the shoe after the show? Should shoe hurling will become a required subject at journalism schools?

First off the mark here was local reporter Jarnail Singh, who got into a heated exchange with Home Minister P Chidambaram this month. At the height of the heated discussions, Sikh launched his size 9 Reebok sneaker at the minister, who was standing five feet away. His questions were on target, but his shoe was not. The Shiromani Akali Dal, offered Singh a $4,000 reward and several people pushed for an auction so they could acquire the offending item.

Singh was quoted saying, "Hurling was a not-for-profit activity aimed at making a point. And anyway, the police who grabbed it for evidence still haven't given it back". So now, the police are treasuring the shoe, should get it from the will sure fetch a decent price at crosby's.

A few days later, a 64-year-old retired school principal threw a shoe at popular Congress Party lawmaker Naveen Jindal during an election rally. The principal, again a Singh, said the shoe was more aimed at the Indian political system – needless to say, it did not hit any of the target.

Now Mr. Advani realized, he is losing his importance, and needs to do something. He probably planted someone, and got flunged upon by a slipper by a member of his own party angry at being pushed out of a leadership position.

Even the Chinese were not spared, when protesters threw shoes at the Chinese Embassy in New Delhi after Beijing sentenced to death two Tibetans for their role in March 2008 riots in Lhasa.

The authorities are now contemplating not allowing any footwear for the cricket matches, to be secure. So till now, Cricket was only considered a religion, now on the grounds would be held as a holy place too ala temples.

These were some of the noteworthy incidents that happened during the last couple of election months. I am sure there are many more, and would appreciate if they could be discussed out further.

Marketing a TV series online

2009-05-09T16:42:00.001+05:30

It is about 50 days that am here in Vizag, and am proud to announce that have done nothing substantial. Yeah, have started taking up classes at T.I.M.E. for one week now. This was good time spent in catching up with friends on the latest media – TV Series and movies. I never ever in L felt the urge to watch any TV series during my stint at L. Moreover seeing my friends getting totally hooked on to it, I decided on purpose that I would be away from them.

This would be quite surprising to know, but in the whole of my two years at L, when people complete the TOP 250 at IMDB, are up to date with the latest seasons of all TV series and also pick up an interest in EPL and stuff, I managed to stay away from most. I just saw HEROES season 1 completely and two and a half men Season 1 to some extent. I was thankfully smart enough to load them all up in the 1TB hard disk with the vision that I would see them some day.

Never thought that someday would be so soon. Now that I am home and completely jobless I have started my romance with these TV series, and dude! They are so addictive. I don't feel like sleeping till the wee hours of morning, just in the pursuit of completing up "one more" episode of HIMYM. I am again proud to announce that I have completed five times more seasons in these 50 days than my 2 years there at L.

Well, now getting to the core. What intrigued me the most of these English TV series, other than the fact that they are a good time pass, is the level of marketing and viewer engagement that these people get into these Shows?

Brad Pitt was dating Jennifer Aniston, so get him to an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
It is thanksgiving time, so celebrate this in the show.
Blackout in the US, so make a complete episode out of it.

Well, these things even the Hindi TV series probably do. What they miss out on the most is creating the characters in such a way, that people actually start believing that they are real people. The case in hand that I would be detailing in this post is HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

Before starting off, this sitcom (situational Comedy) is about Ted, in the year 2030 recounts to his son and daughter the events that led to his meeting their mother, which explains the title and allows for a narration in the past tense. How I Met Your Mother's other main characters are Marshall, Robin, Lily and the LEGENDARY Barney.

Some of the main points that really impressed me about the involvement level created by the marketing team are:

The Bro Code, stated by Barney many times throughout the series, is a set of written rules for bros to follow, and has been published as a tie-in novel and also an audiobook. Now this is going really far. Actually sensing a market for a book of rules that are just passed off as dialogues in the series is excellent.
Throughout the series Barney makes references to his blog. CBS hosts and updates an online copy of Barney's Blog online. Actually having a blog on the characters reference, and also updating it would make the viewer completely involved with the AWESOME character.
There is this one episode when Barney is referred to as Swarley. Barney towards the end tries to pretend he loves his new name to avoid being called Swarley again. Though it is not shown in the episode, there is a website called Swarley.com about it.
In one of the episodes it is revealed that one of Barney's former one-night-stands, whom he told that his name was Ted Mosby (in Ted Mosby: Architect), created a website denouncing him called TedMosbyIsAJerk.com. Actually designing such a website is great.
A website made by Victoria as a response to, called TedMosbyIsNOTaJerk.com also exists. This one is not an official site, and there it shows it all. The fans have become so loyal and they actually want to follow the makers and leave no stone unturned.
Marshall and Lily are married and there exists a website with videos and pictures of Marshall's and Lily's honeymoon, never showed on the show.
A complete website of Ted's "mysterious" identity when he was in college, as seen in one of the episodes is also hosted.
Barney's Video Resume: The most popular of all, this video has actually been making rounds online. In one of the episodes Barney reveals that he has created an online video resume at BarneysVideoResume.com and the makers took the pain of actually creating one, and a very funny one for that.
Also there is a page on myspace for the show as well all the individual actors.

I wonder when Indian Television will rise to make such Series that become a cult in themselves. When will Indian TV dole out series which can actually be sold on DVD as seasons and have buyers. I can only remember Sarabhai vs Sarabhai to have reached to some extent of popularity to actually have reruns and reruns and even be sold on DVD, and shown on in flight entertainment systems. Well, sooner or later they would catch up am sure.

The corporate have caught up to some extent in harnessing the internet to spread their brand message further. AIRTEL recently came up with an interactive site impatient tones.com to involve its users. It is also running a promotional campaign to promote impatience theme and is asking the consumers to come up with a version of a 30 second video or a 30 word story on the most boring movie ever seen, and be declared as the next featured impatient one. This is to promote their impatient theme for the airtel broadband that recently launched internet at the speed of 16MBPS.

Now I am off to catch up with the rest of the episodes of HIMYM, while you can chill watching these funny animated spoofs on popular hindi movies.

http://airtel.impatientones.com/devdas.swf

http://airtel.impatientones.com/mughalai-azam.swf

ONLINE CAT - Issues and Concerns

2009-05-06T15:34:00.001+05:30

It is said, that a person should give back to society what he has attained. I have not earned lots of money, to donate to charity but yes, I think this city has given me the pedestal to rise to be in an IIM. So I think it is my duty to give it back, by teaching the younger generations. Also, this would help me to pass time and be in touch with the collegians of today, thereby being abreast of the latest happenings.

Thus, I have started taking classes at T.I.M.E. – A coaching institute for MBA/ MCA entrance examinations.

In this regard, many students keep asking me about the possible effects of the CAT going online from this year, and how it would impact them. I thought, I should be taking this opportunity, and also enlighten my readers of the possible changes and how it should be handled, as I am sure many of you there are CAT aspirants waiting to nail CAT'09.

So far the information doled out by the IIMs,

Confirmation that CAT is becoming a computer-based test from 2009 (CBT CAT)
Prometric ETS has been awarded the contract for conducting the test
CAT 2009 will be conducted over 10 days at the end of 2009
More details will be communicated along with the advertisement (this is typically released in July)
According to IIM-B admission chairperson Subhashish Gupta, CAT 2009 is unlikely to be computer adaptive
Most likely there will be three tests a day over 10 days -- meaning a total of 30 different tests. (source : Rediff.com)

CAT 09 is very unlikely to be computer adaptive (that is the system adapts itself to the test takers according to their intelligence. If you answer a question right, the next question would be more tough and of more marks, and if you answer a question wrong the next question would be a slightly easy one). Making it Computer adaptive would not be feasible right now, as I don't think the IIMs would have the repository of the correct answers and the wrong answers attempted by CAT takers all these years. So deciding if a particular problem is difficult or easy would be purely based on the judgment of the CAT question paper setter.

One more issue lingering in the minds of the aspirants – is it not unfair, that I may get slightly difficult questions and my competitor might get easier ones? Well, very possible. But realize that no question is easy or difficult. It is only our preparation that determines that. Also, IIMs would ensure a fair competition and would set questions from different set of question banks dependant on the difficulty level or the time taken to solve it. Of course, there would be people cribbing that wish I had the paper given by someone else. Remember, the grass is always greener on the other side.

How are the IIMs going to compare or normalize the scores across various tests?

While the information has not been made public, we can extrapolate from the manner in which they compare scores for past academics for CAT aspirants.

If the IIMs decide on non-adaptive testing, they would be expected to normalise the scores across different papers using statistical distribution of scores for each test. A basic example would assume that the scores follow a bell curve. Then, the performance of students would be measured by how they have performed compared to the average performance.

If the IIMs decide on computer-adaptive testing, then each question will have a difficulty rating. A student will face a moderately difficult question first. Based on whether he gets it right or wrong, the level of difficulty will go up or down. There will be an algorithm that will generate the scores. (Source: Rediff.com)

A student very innocently asked, do I require any extra computer skills to attempt this exam? NO. It is just a question paper which comes on the computer screen. So if you know how to operate your cell phone, operating the graphics on the computer would not be tough at all. Moreover, I am sure the coaching institutes would have sufficient material and arrangements to give you practice. Also, the IIMs would ensure that you first take a practice test on their system before jumping into attempting the actual questions. Yes, it would help to practice reading on the computer screen, which is quite tiring.

About being able to do rough work, this I think is the biggest disadvantage of taking CAT online. The second one being reading huge comprehension passages online. For rough work, I loved doing it just next to the question on the question paper itself. Now as that would not be possible, IIMs would decide to give you rough sheets or maybe create special scribbling space on the computer screen like in GMAT.

Is there any change in strategy required? I would say, not really. Right now, it is more important that you prepare the normal way and stop speculating. Get your fundamentals right, and get trained for the three sections which sure are not going to change. There is no clarity if the entire question paper would be given at once online, or would it be question after question. Also, there is no clarity if one can return back to an unanswered question. So there is no point thinking about it, and rather follow and make up your strategy of selecting questions and answering them. Sure, if anything changes, you would have to dump the strategy later. Of course, start practicing reading comprehensions and content on the computer screen to increase speed.

These are some issues that could be discussed with the information in hand presently. Any more discussion would just lead to speculation and unnecessary wastage of time. So it is recommended that you rather concentrate on building up the fundamentals and ground knowledge. It could be adapted to whatever technology and form required. Yes, this year's CAT would be an unfair disadvantage to those who have been writing it for many years, as they must have gained considerable knowledge and built up enough strategies to attempt CAT like in the previous format. It would be a fresh start for them all over again.

Content in this article is inspired from an article in rediff.com, and due credit has been given wherever it has been quoted verbatim.

SRK may dump KKR

2009-04-30T10:59:00.001+05:30

Well there have been talks of Shah Rukh Khan dumping the letter Kolkata from his team name – Kolkata knight riders, but dumping the team in its enterity – that no one expected.

According to a news article in Business Standard,

After dropping "Kolkata" from Indian Premier League team (IPL) Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR), actor Shah Rukh Khan has started discussions with Nokia, Sahara, the Anil Ambani group, and several other companies to sell the team he bought just over a year ago for Rs 300 crore, and exit the business.

Shah Rukh could have easily sold a stake in the team, but that would come at the cost of sacrifice of part management control. Well, did not expect this romance to end so soon – afterall Shah Rukh's team garnered the highest profit last year (only one of the two profit making team, the other being the champions RR)

Now what could be the reason behind this motive?

TIME – It does take a lot of time on Shah Rukh's part to keep the team running, and everyone knows how much money he would be making if this time is spent on making films and ads.

PERFORMANCE – The sad performance of the team in this edition, and the final nail in the coffin being the loss with RCB – the clash of the titans, battle for the last position.

MONEY – Selling off the team right now, for the next edition, and if no fresh teams are issued would lead to huge valuations and thus a very high ROI in a short span.

HASSLES – the frequent tiffs with the Kolkata municipal corporation, Kolkata police and this new issue with the Fake IPL Blog.

Whatever be the reason – KKR was associated with SRK, and had developed a brand identity with King Khan. It would be interesting to see how the team develops after SRK, well that is if it happens!

Mouse to bell the CAT - Online

2009-04-29T00:45:00.001+05:30

There was this time, not many years ago when computers were something alien to the Indian students. Now it has become more of a necessity everywhere. I for one have got totally addicted to this case. Early morning, the first thing that pinches me is checking mail, reader, twitter etc..You probably can't do an MBA without a laptop. Projects, presentations, work... Everything is done on this wonderful machine. Thank you Bill gates, for Microsoft office.

Now even the entrance to this exam is going online from this year, according to a release by IIM, Bangalore.

Hundreds of thousands of students aspiring to get into the prestigious Indian Institutes of Management (IIMs) will now be answering the Common Admission Test (CAT) online from this year onwards.

The CAT, scores in which decide admission to the IIMs located in Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Kolkata, Indore, Kozhikode, Lucknow and Shillong, will now be a Computer Based Test (CBT), said a statement issued by IIM-Bangalore on Monday.

This has been in news of late for some time now and the main reason is the exponentially increasing number of applicants.

While about 95,000 candidates took the CAT in 2003, the number rose to about 250,000 in 2008, indicating a whopping 163 percent rise.

According to the IIMs, this has resulted in severe strain on the administrative system of the institutes to conduct the CAT in its existing format.

Some people have raised concerns about the security of the test, which I am sure the CAT admissions committee would look into in detail and ensure all the process before going ahead. Outsourcing it to a third party is nice, but it would be held over a span of days. This has some issues, for one I believe the performance on that particular day, in those particular 3hrs is very crucial, and that very largely depends on the questions coming in.

I hope the committee ensures that everyone gets the same type of questions, and thus ensure fairness. This is far more crucial here as the scoring pattern of Cat has always been relative. 99 percentile meant you are in the top on percent of the applicants and nothing about your score. So maybe, a GMAT type score, say from 1000, would be a better metric, and take the Indian MBA system a little closer to the foreign B schools. (Not saying that they follow the best process, but an online test with different questions for different people has to be scored, and not compared).

What does this shift mean to the aspirant?

Rules would no doubt change. A slightly different skill set would be required, but of course the deserving student would still score. It is like a shift of cricket from one days to T20's – you still need to know cricket, but just adapt well to the new format. Of course, every deserving MBA from IIM should have this adaptability and ease of change, which is very essential in the current business environment.

What does this mean to the coaching insti's?

They need to setup computer labs or setup online systems to enable the students to practice tests. Also everyone is in complete confusion as to what exactly would be the pattern. Will rough sheets be given to work? Will the questions paper come all at once, or would it be question by question? How difficult it is to read the passages on the computer screen without the facility to highlight or underline the key words?

The Big fat Indian Wedding

2009-04-28T11:33:00.003+05:30

I am just back from Hotel Green Park, with Dad. Well, my general trips to this hotel are to its bar (obviously) – The one plus one offer on beers is simply irresistible. Oh! Gawd! How I love beer. But well, the thing that I was back with dad might have given you a hint – the visit tonight was not to the bar. A family friends son was salvaged off today and it was his reception (He got married!).

Now there is something about this Indian wedding that you simply can't get in any part of the world. First thing – The marriage itself lasts so long that one can't forget it ever. 3 long days of rituals, a weeklong festivities, and preparations from a long time. I heard the lady (Bridegroom's mother) was on her shopping visits right since January, i.e. she had exhausted all her options in Vizag till then. Vijayawada, Hyderabad, Delhi, Mumbai – Shopping across four cities all by her. Now add another dozen cities from where she had asked many acquaintances to shop on her behalf (How much money do they blow up for this one ritual, er! Well, 3 day ritual). Now you know why the divorce rate in this country is so low, and people thought it has something to do with the culture, society, bringing up, blah! Blah!

Well, coming back to this wedding. The festivities started last week sometime, and the rituals as far as I know, started on Saturday (could be before that too). The one on Saturday was open to a little distant family. This is a good measure, if you want to check your relationship status with a particular family. The function that you are invited to says it all – your distance from the groom's, or bride's family.

I somehow get too lonely at these parties, and prefer not attending them. Well, this is the reason I give to mom for not attending these parties. I would not really get lonely as I don't mind approaching the weirdest of the strangers at the most obscure place, and chat up with them. The real reason I try avoiding these weddings is the constant look by over sized aunties. These get-togethers are typical venues for matchmaking. One couple being blessed and other couples being initiated. Any guy, or girl, above the age of 22 would fall in the eyes of these aunties. The normal chat between two aunties, say heavy auntie (HA), and the pompous Auntie (PA) would be like

"So how have you been? The earings look really pretty", says the HA, smirking in mind "her husband must surely be in illegal activities"

"Oh, thank you so much. Even yours are nice." The PA would reply trying to return the compliment, though celebrating her joy that she could make someone jealous with that costly allurement.

"hey, by the way. See that guy there", the PA would ask HA

"Come on, look at your age. You are still seeing young guys like this. Look at that pot bellied guy there", the HA chuckles.

"Ah! I was wondering whose son he is. Remember my sister's husband's third cousin's daughter?"

"I was wondering what a wonderful couple they would make", the PA remarks, still staring at the guy and trying to find out who the innocently standing guy's mom is.

There one more couple in the process of being formed. I am sure the next SRK starrer from yash raj's studio would be "Auntie ne bana di Jodi"

Now you know why I hate attending weddings, or such social family get-togethers. Too risky. I don't want myself to be the centre of talk for all aunties, and nor do I want my mom to handle them trying to reject the offer, in the most polite manner.

Yesterday though was different, and the bridegroom being the son of one of my mom's good friend, I had to attend the wedding. Thankfully I had my brother for company. I am sure he must be cribbing about it, as he had to stand with me all night, and not with his friends of the opposite gender. Now staying out of vizag for two years, does deluge one of all access to beautiful women. Many of the ones you know are themselves out of vizag – studying, working or otherwise. Some have shifted base with their families, etc. and a good healthy number of girls you could have very easily dated have got married in the last two years. So now you are left with girls too young, which your brother claims as his domain. SINGLE.

One more funny thing at these Indian weddings, or social gatherings. People like alcohol, non vegetarian but the host refuses. Nah! It is a wedding, a holy day, so - no chicken, no alcohol. Ah! Crap! It is not Lord Shiva getting married, in whose case too I don't see any reason to refrain from chicken. We Indians anyways don't consume much of pork to be afraid of the swine flu. My brother and I were very tempted to escape to ESCAPE – the in house bar, but had to restrain ourselves.

Sitting near the dinner spread in a buffet style I did happen to hear an interesting conversation between two elderly pot bellied men.

My positioning near the dinner has nothing to do with my interest in food, it was rather the perfect angle to a hot chik sitting opposite with a guy.

Was he her husband?

Nah! She looks too young to be married.

Her boyfriend?

Nah! Indian tradition, you don't get your boyfriend to family outing.

Must be her brother for sure.

But then why are they holding hands and chuckling so lovingly?

Chill! Botherly love.

Coming back to the eavesdropped talk. One guy slams to the other, "damn these people. I gave a full 200 rupees gift and this is what they serve. It was not a paisa wasool party for me". The other guy, with lots of hair all across his heavily built body, trying hard to stuff all the tawa sabji in his mouth, speaks difficulty," yes, I expected this, and that is the reason I brought along my wife, my 2 kids and also 3 of my nephews. My brother was not available so he had to miss the party" the fry brinjal still hanging out of his mouth. I hope he is now satisfied that his 200 rupees was a good investment.

One the whole, it was a wonderful evening, and it has only strengthened my decision to avoid all such parties. I don't want to wasool all the gift money that my parents would give. Also, it was a very heavy compromise to do with the beer party with friends. Nothing like beer!
"Congratulations! Wish you a happy married life". Thud.

Early Morning Jog

2009-04-25T08:36:00.001+05:30

Surprisingly woke up at 5Am today morning. Well, seeing my recent track record that is like a full minimum 6 hours early than my normal up time. APTRANSCO to blame. How can they even think of having a power cut from 4AM in the morning? Tough time it was with the mosquitoes.

So at about 5AM, I woke up and decided to go for a jog. I wanted Mom and Dad to be awake and if possible go out with dad himself, who has been a regular since more than 30 years. 6AMM, mom wakes up, and I get ready and all set, and the power is back. Mom asks if I am still interested or was I going back to sleep. NO! Today it has to be. From many months now, I have just kept procrastinating.

This interest or rather fascination with jogging started somewhere in the first year at L, when Tanuj proposed that we better jog to keep fit. I agreed, and set out for a day or two and that too in the evening, as morning was for sleep. Poor guy! He agreed to all my tantrums, and what did he have to bear? A jog just for a little more than 150mts. After reaching the director's bungalow, I just kept admiring its architectural beauty and insisted that w e rather walk. Jogging is painful. (I still don't understand how I completed two complete rounds of the campus, each being 2.7KM, initially during induction under the name of "Health Run").

He got fed up and there ended my tryst with jogging in just two days. Somewhere during December 2007, me and Tanuj again planned that from the next year we should be more fitness conscious, and should go for a jog and also gym. One of the countless New Year resolutions that each of us make. We started ambitiously on jan 2^nd, as jan 1^st was spent in deep slumber and hangover after the 31^st night party. The real reason for Tanuj to get attracted towards jogging was his hanging pot belly (tondu). We again kept the promise and it went on, again for two days. Tanuj gave up (Nah not jogging!), he gave up making plans to jog with me.

Now two months of intern gave me lots of time, and I actually thought about it once in Cochin where I had ample time all to myself. The pristine marine drive, so much similar to the Vizag beach, and also the fact that my hotel was at walk able distance from the beach actually inspired me walk the line. But, well again someone to blame - My new Reliance netconnect kept me occupied all night, extending up to the time when people generally jog. So there went two beautiful months across the country.

Second year beginning. Here it is worthwhile to say that those in academic life have two beginnings for a year. One in January, and the other in june. We see lots of resolutions being made by everyone in January, and the same continues with the acad-related junta in june too. So here in june 2008, at the beginning of my second year, I had made many resolutions to myself, and one among them happened to be Jogging. Alas! It did not even have a start this time, forget the two days! That is the reason it is said, whenever you make a resolution (or a commitment), do announce it to a couple of your friends, so that you are forced to abide it for sometime atleast. Now you know why marriages are announced to everyone?

My MBA life of two years can clearly be classified as life before PPO and life after PPO. So in November, after getting the PPO, I was all relaxed. No more placements, no more tensions, I just had to pass through to make it. I decided one fine morning in november, "okay, enough of partying and drowning (you know in what?), I should now think seriously about my fitness. I should go for a jog every morning. Alas! This time agin I just promised this to myself, and as expected it did not see the light of the day.. er! Morning.

I was too engrossed in partying and other sinful activities at the beginning of the year 2009, to be making any resolutions. So no jogging. Yeah, sometime in march I decided once I am back home, I would make use of the long holiday and go for a jog every morning, and to the gym every evening. It has been a month now that I am home, and today was my first morning for a jog. "Delhi 6 loaded on my N72, and running across on the pavement beachside – nothing like it. I am not sure, how long it is going to take to start hitting the gym. Soon, hopefully!

Kill the lazy bugger, where the hell is he?

Tailpiece:

This thing about the fakeiplplayer is making rounds in this season of IPL. SRK is haunted. Do visit it for more dope!

My left INDEX finger is marked!

2009-04-17T11:57:00.001+05:30

For the past many weeks we have been hearing stuff on elections – the biggest reality show of India, staged once in five years. This year, due to ample time at my disposal, and interest, I have been following the elections quite closely. In spite of this I have not really felt the urge to vote!

Early morning today, mom woke me up to close the door as mom and dad both were leaving to vote. What? So early in the morning? It is only 8AM!, and it is a special holiday. Well, I just dragged my feet to the door, closed it and slept back.

Watching TV later, me and Dad were discussing the political situation prevalent in the state in particular and the country in general. I was cribbing that the voting process is not online, to allow me to vote at a click. My dad tried hard explaining me the importance of voting, but I stuck to my stance – Why should I take all the pain, stand in a queue, fight the scorching heat amidst heated arguments, and in the end probably find that my name is not there. Even if my name is there, why should I actually take all that pain?

Mom was infuriated as she had to walk back home twice and waste about an hour and in spite of that was not able to vote, as her name went missing from the voters list. I was in no mood to spoil my mood, so why get in at all? Ignore. Who cares? Dad tried hard, and this actually convinced my brother who went out to vote, but the lazy bugger in me was more dominant.

My brother informed me that my7 name was actually there, and I could vote just carrying some identity proof. I thought why not, and set out. I first had a smoke and then after collecting my voter slip went to the polling booth. It was 3:50PM, and the guard there was trying to push me off saying time is over. I had to argue and get into a verbal duel with him explaining him that it is not yet 4PM, and it is his duty to allow everyone till 4, and then shut the doors.

Also this time over, I have observed many people propagating the right to vote. More than the calls for exercising "my franchise to X party", more publicity has been given to the basic right – "call to exercise the voting right". The right to adult suffrage.

"This could be the defining election of our lives."
"Voting is your right and responsibility."
"Vote as if your life depended on it."

You've probably heard all these slogans. Most likely you've seen the political ads and maybe even watched the conventions. So, what's the urgency about; why does voting matter? It's easy to get cynical about voting, especially in national elections where many have been faced with barriers to voting, had their votes discounted or simply haven't found a candidate who speaks to them or their issues.

We have been hearing of sites like letsvote.in, which has been running campaigns all across the country in many innovative ways and using the latest technology. The silent march they held in vizag is a case in hand that I was witness to. Huge hoardings across the city telling everyone about the silent march, and then conducting it peacefully without any noise in spite of the turnout being more than fifty thousand people. Their tie up with a leading online apparel retailer to sell their logo tees is also a case in hand – going the corporate professional way in promoting their cause at little or no cost at all.

One more similar site, though with a funny overtone is BleedIndia.com. It has a funny character PAAPu RAJ very cleverly saying what they want to say. The front head tagline – "No tension. Why vote in election?" is again a very catchy tagline to catch the eye of the reader. An example of their funny antics to get across their point -

Meet our Candidate: PappuRaj, of the esteemed 'Bleed India' party. Read about his manifesto, his beliefs, and his agenda

With funny questions like the below, they prove and make everyone think the terror we would be under just because we don't vote.

This is where your Vote counts!

Who Has Bled India More?
a) Moral Police b) Chor Police

What Is a bigger threat to India?
a) Valentines Day
b) The Recession

The TATA's can never be far for any public service. Janaagraha, linked with industrial conglomerate Tata has been running a campaign that berated youngsters with this slogan: "If you are not voting, you are asleep." Janaagraha's Web site has received millions of hits, and has helped 500,000 Indians register as new voters.

An average youth feels like, "come on! It does not affect me. Why should I vote?". " I rather go on a date with my girl, or sleep maybe!". The message cuts it well, "dude, you not safe with your girl in the presence of the Rama Sene's of the country!"

Now the issue – why are these campaigns so much important this time over. The 180 million people under 35 who are going to vote this year, and the 43 million of them who will be first-time voters. A huge number, and if they are to vote this year and every season that comes as a responsible citizen, this is the best time to educate them of their responsibility.

I was the last person in the queue, and thus the last person at the polling booth to exercise my right. Yes, I have just returned back from the polling booth, exercising my franchise, and smearing my left index finger.

Tail piece:

One more thing that seems to be in fashion this season is "hurling of footwear on leaders". The latest victim being our own Prime Minister wannabe – L.K. Advani.

Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) Prime Ministerial candidate Lal Krishna Advani became the latest 'slipper' gate target on Thursday. Pawan Agarwal, a BJP worker, threw a slipper at Advani on Thursday.

Earlier, a retired school principal had thrown a shoe at Congress MP Navin Jindal in Kurukshetra.

In a similar incident, an agitated Dainik Jagran journalist Jarnail Singh threw a shoe at Union Home Minister, P Chidambaram during a press conference at the Congress headquarters in Delhi.

Last December, Muntadhar al-Zaidi, an Iraqi journalist with Egypt-based al-Baghdadia television network, had thrown his shoes at former President George W Bush during a news conference in Baghdad.

Well, when will our habit and obsessiveness with everything western change? Change – See, even I am forced to use the slogan word of Obama's Campaign!

Movie time.. April 2009

2009-04-12T12:23:00.001+05:30

These times of full vela time is the right time to fulfil all the backlog work that has been pending since long. And well, what better than view all the movies that I always wanted to watch.

Right from the first year at L, many of my friends have been hooked to TV series and somehow I have maintained distance from them. But not anymore. I have completed the first season of Heroes and am presently watching the first season of Two and a half men. The 1TB hard disk that I recently bought is loaded up with all TV series available on the LAN. I hope these holidays be fruitful!!

Now, as is generally do, for the benefit of my readers – a brief review of all the movies and TV series I have seen of late. You can find a similar post here.

MOVIE REVIEWS

Yes Man: Jim Carrey. You can't beat the guy. I would not say this is one of his better movies, but well, watchable. It is about a guy who decides to say YES to everything. Rating: 7/10

Milk: The Oscar nominated movie about a true story. The story of Harvey Milk, and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California's first openly gay elected official. Very well made movie. Must-see. Rating: 9.5/10

Jumbo: Totally ignore. I saw this movie thinking Akshay kumar would have added something watchable in it. But NO. It was a complete wastage of time. Rating: 1/10

In Bruges: Again a wonderfully made movie about two people and their escapades to Bruges, Belgium. Two men are caught up in this beautiful European city and explore themselves. Bruges is shown so beautifully that it actually tempted me to book my tickets. I wonder if the tourism board has something to do with the film! Rating: 9/10

All the president's men: Old Classic. I was waiting for Richard/Nixon to be downloaded on DC, and found this movie to be very similar theme wise. About the Watergate scandal that hit the US in 1976, and the quest of two reporters to unleash the mystery behind it. Rating: 9/10

The snow Walker: One of my friends suggested me this one. It is a well shot movie about a pilot and his passenger who get holed up in a deserted land and their survival instincts. In spite of the two not knowing a common language how well they commute to each other and live on is shown wonderfully. Rating: 8/10

Idiocracy: A crazy movie for one of those evenings when you just feel lazy and wanna have beer all alone. Switch on this movie, have a tub of popcorn ready in your hand and a couple of bottles of beer ready. It is about the future land where it is shown that the Human race become very dumb and stupid, and the travails of a guy from the present in this idiotic future. Rating: 6.5/10

Jugaad: Completely forgettable. The name of the movie attracted me towards it, but well Manoj Bajpai still needs to learn the art of selecting movies. Rating: 2/10 (only for the title!)

Billu Barber: It has Shahrukh Khan, so it has to be good. But well, if Rajnikanth could not support the story what can SRK do, in spite of Deepika, Kareena, Priyanka, lara? Nevertheless, the songs were good, and it had SRK. So watchable once. Irrfan Khan also did a commendable job, and he is the main protagonist actually. SRK is only for the glamour quotient. Rating: 6.5/10

Nick and Norah's infinite playlist: Want to see a movie with your date. This one could be your pic. Pretty well made about teenage romance, and the subtleties involved when a girl asks a guy out for five minutes. Rating: 7/10

TV Series

Heroes Season 1: It is about the extraordinary powers vested in some of the humans. They are the Heroes. The cheerleader, Peter petrieli, the painter, Nakamura, etc.. and SYLAR who by profession is a clockmaker, and turns into the bad man ripping apart the skulls of these heroes to configure his own head and gain access to those powers. It also has an Indian character – Dr. Suresh, who is not a Hero in himself but helps the others to discover themselves. The season 1 was all about how everyone discovers their powers, and how Sylar is stopped from exploding the terrible bomb.
Two and a Half Men Season 1: Charlie and Alan are brothers, and Jack is Alan's son who all start staying together in Charlie's beach house. These make up the two and a half men. We also have Rose – the stalker, Charlie and Alan's mom, Judith – Alan's exwife, and some more characters. It is a fun sitcom on the similar lilnes of friends but with a different theme.

Now you know what has kept me occupied all these days. I have seen some more, but I have this policy of just updating 10 movies at once, so keep waiting for the next dose when I complete my quota of 10 movies.

Of Chocolates, votes and Nano

2009-04-08T20:12:00.001+05:30

Life has got back to the normal human being timings, and I am finding it hard to get back to normalcy. Two years of MBA does change a person a lot. I have been home from since two odd weeks, and have literally done nothing. In spite of my ideas and various desires, I have managed to be too lazy to initiate any of the plans I had meticulously discussed and bored my friends with.

I turned 24 on Sunday, the 5^th of april. Shhh! I am not all that old, that is just the biological sign – the "how old are you" quiz on facebook has declared me a lot younger than that. Mom had planned a langar at the gurudwara, and I was busy in the nitty gritties of organizing it, the whole of last week. Sunday turned out to be a good day, and I even adorned the Lucknowi kurta pyzama I had bought from Lucknow. My brother commented that I looked more like a politician than a chocolate seller wearing that. Chocolate seller – that is how I would be referred to in a few months, and am already seen as one even now. For those who try staying away from this pleasure of chocolate munching due to calorie consciousness, and don't allow me my Lamborghinis, please jump into the fray.

Finally, chocolate is no longer a guilty pleasure. Le Whif, which just launched yesterday, combines chocolate and aerosol science with their zero calorie chocolate inhalers.

Beginning in the spring of 2008 as part of a culinary art experiment executed by Harvard professor David Edwards and his students, the innovative concept moves "eating habits to their logical conclusion." While we've yet to actually try the chocolate, we're sure this will spark a new culinary craze and lead to even more gastronomic experiments.

There are these new chocolate inhalers which would enhance your mood curves, while ensuring that it does not increase your curves at the wrong places. Anyways, moving from chocolates to elections - maybe I should give this alternate profession a serious try. What with so many well educated people jumping in the bandwagon. Now, I sincerely hope India is steered ahead to a glorious future under the able aegis of these talented people.

Talking of election, cases of giving incentives – mainly cash and alcohol for votes has dominated the newspapers for the last few weeks. There were reports of huge cash being found in cars, alcohol being distributed to lure the innocent voters, and even bus tickets being given to the junta for their travel to the meeting venue. This news report from Bangalore beats them all – distributing VIAGRA for votes.

Politics in Thailand and buying votes are nothing new, but creative ways to garner favor among the populace is a challenge for even the most resourceful candidates.

In lieu of cash, one Bangkok candidate in a recent election allegedly handed out Viagra tablets.

Wow! Now this is what I call thinking out of the box. What do animals need the most? Sex? Give them that, and they are on your side. This snippet which once again proves the importance we give to the libido – "In cricket, guards were first used in 1874, and head helmets were used for the first time in 1974. It took 100 years for people to realize that brains are also important."

I have been commuting the streets of Vizag on my dad's active. I should say, for every trip anywhere, I have to compulsorily make a trip to the mechanic shop which the bike so loves. It always forces me at odd hours to pay him a visit. For example, a couple of days back Baka had come down from Lucknow. On his way to his home place – aruku, he halted here for a night. We hanged out in the evening, ate Biryani in the night, and then after watching a movie till 3AM, I had to drop him to the bus station at 4AM.

We set out on my active, and with lots of difficulty reached the bus stand fine. On my way back, the accelerator wire just got snapped. I tries all m y mechanical brains to fix it back or atleast set it for a make use to reach home – but no avail. It was 4:30AM in the morning, and I was at a a calm residential area. There was no chance of any public transport in the vicinity, and my home was still 2KM far away.

I called up my brother who, very sweetly, did agree to come down to pick me up at this unearthly hour. I stand there in the residential area trying to look away from the street dogs who stare very dangerously at me. I get a call from him. "Dude, I am all ready to come, but you have locked the door from outside, and the keys are with you!" my brother says. Oh my Gawd! Now I can't help it. My brother does not have the spiderman powers to glide down the second floor. I have no other option but to leave the bike there in the open, or to push it through for the 2KM, and drag it home. I preferred the latter option for its safety. This shows how much I love the active, but the infidel that it is – it loves the mechanic shop more than me.

I adhered to its demands, and took it to the mechanic shop first thing in the morning, and also paid 100 rupees for its courtship. It worked well, and listened to me obediently, for one day, but made the desire for another date the next day itself. I again had to bend down to its demands – what other option do I have?

Yes, it is old and does require companionship at this age. But well, I am in no way interested to be its escort every time. So, I am planning to sell it off to someone who would be more than happy to foster its courtship. At the same time, I do need a personal mode of transport. What do I go for? The newly launched NANO??

Should say, Ratan Tata and his team have proven to be the best marketers of the year by generating the maximum interest in this vehicle and making NANO a word of common parlance before even launching it. Unfortunately, the Nano would hit the roads only after july and for this part of the country it sure would take much more time. I rather go for a second hand "nameless car" – The Maruti 800. Or, as dad suggests, stick again to the good old Activa – maybe a new one!!!

p.s.: Will AIRTEL please realize that I no more reside in UP, and I am not interested in its "Namaskar, airtel aapke liye laye hai… "Dude, I am on roaming and even these pre recorded tele marketing calls are being charged. DNC registry!!!

German police! huh

2009-03-30T23:47:00.001+05:30

I thought only Indian police went on trials to search for things untraceable, for years. But, the German Police has left me in splits after doin this.

Police in Germany hunted a sinister phantom killer for two years after finding the same DNA at 39 different crime scenes - only to discover that the source was a woman who made the cotton buds used to collect the sample!

The police were stumped. They eventually offered a 300,000 euro reward to find the killer. It's no surprise the money was never claimed, however, because the so-called 'phantom killer' was a complete myth! Detectives had apparently been tracking the DNA of a factory worker who packaged cotton buds used by the police to collect samples, according to 'Stern.de'.

Her DNA was found over and over again: in bottles, tank lids, on bullets – and once even on a biscuit!

Nice, finally the detectives managed to think out of the culprits. er box. And well, 300,000 euro award!! The cotton bud maker should herslf have claimed the award. She would never have to ever make the cotton buds again, and the industry would get a huge boost for sure. Everyone would want to make cotton buds, and ensure that they have spitted on each a considerable number of times.

Teerthaliya

2009-03-29T03:14:00.001+05:30

Huh! Long time, was on a long country wide trip along with Mom and Dad. Was fun. The entire trip has been aptly named Teerthaliya. Finally back home last Sunday, and now I feel a little settled. After lots of initial small problems of bike, television, internet, etc. the most important of all was solved today. INTERNET. Got my Reliance data card recharged for the unlimited connection for a month. Now I only hope the speed does not betray me.

About the trip, in detail

March 12^th: I left Lucknow for Delhi to receive Mom and Dad, who were coming from vizag. Saw Revolutionary Road (review some other time) in the afternoon, had a beer and then met them in the evening. Things one has to do, if no one comes down to meet in Delhi. There was a time when I specifically used to go to Delhi to meet up. Sigh!

In the evening, I took mom and Dad to the Seesh Ganj Gurudwara (Thus started my teerth yatra, er! Teerthaliya) and then by the Delhi metro to CP, where we had dinner. We got into the train to Haridwar in the night.

March 13^th: All day in haridwar and Rishikesh. Well, for those who are getting a envious hearing about Rishikesh, remember I was with parents. So, no rafting, nothing. I instead saw the Ram Jhula and the Lakshman jhula, with a crore temples in between. We even had lunch at the famous ChotiWala's restaurant. The entire passed away like that, and the evening aarti on the ghats of the ganges was a perfect end to the great day. We even went to Patanjali – the headquarters of Baba Ramdev. I should say, he is the best marketer than anyone of us. Just a simple Yoga guru, has marketed himself so well, and look at him today. He has attained a Demi God status living in a huge campus.

March 14^th: Reached Amritsar early morning, and checked into a hotel. Had morning breakfast and the famous tea at GIANI tea stall – the aroma of which still lingers on. We then went to the historic Jallianwala bagh, followed by the revered Golden temple. Ah! Rab ne bana di Jodi has made the temple so glamorous. Everyone is now enthusiastic to click a pic at the same place where shahrukh had posed. A movie is a best place to market a product, place, experience, anything. Top it with Shahrukh, and it is guaranteed to sell. As it was said, "In bollywood, only sex and Shahrukh sell!". We even went to the Wagah border in the evening, and it was an unforgettable experience. Now if anyone asks me if I have been abroad? My answer would be, "I have seen the Pakistani border. That is the closest I have got to abroad!" We retired after having a sumptuous filling of the famous Punjabi Butter chicken.

March 15^th: I did not want to go anywhere; all that was left in Amritsar was temples. I did not want to be assaulted by a few more. But, mom was adamant, and we had to give in. We first went to the Vaishno Devi mandir( yes, a replica of the famous Jammu temple here in Amritsar), and then the Durgiama Mandir. Somehow, I feel all the temples to be alike, and I don't understand the motive of visiting all the temples possible. I have come across people who vow to visit 108 (or any random number) of temples if their wish if fulfilled. What difference would it make? We spent the rest of the day near the golden temple (again a temple!), shopping.

March 16^th: Reached Lucknow at about 11AM. Ah! The campus seems so wonderful, I am already missing it. Sad! I would have to leave the place in a few days. I attended the convo rehearsals in the afternoon and we set out shopping for the famous lucknow Chikan work dresses, in the evening. We were back to campus at about 8PM, right in time for the dinner. We met up a lot of people, and I introduced a lot of friends and their parents, to mom and Dad. A general sense of camaraderie between us, juniors, parents and even the faculty made the evening memorable. After Mom and Dad retired to bed in the provided Guest house, I set off to H13, to participate in the uncorking of MOET CHANDON by Doc. Oh! The Champagne tasted awesome.

March 17^th: Woke up quite late, and then after talking to Mom and Dad for some time, I started getting dressed for the D-Day. I reached right in time for the convocation, fully dressed in the best of my spirits. The ceremony was a memorable one, which I am sure going to cherish for a long time to come. After the convo and photo clicking ordeals we set off to the snack arena. Baka was doing the honours of being the cameraman for the day. The StEX committee juniors also had a surprise in store for us. A cake cutting ceremony and small return gifts – An IIML Calendar. Very thoughtful of them. Would sure miss the committee very much. Me, Abhinav, Praveen and Puneet made for the perfect team and the juniors just added up to it. It was a wonderful time spent with the committee. We set out shopping again in the evening, and finally after having dinner at the food court at Sahara mall, we returned back.

My last night at L, sure requires a para of its own. Afterall, Bharat Jhurani finishes everything in style ala BJ! Mom and Dad retired to their rooms after returning from the mall, and I went down to my wing. Bottles of Beer were waiting, and so was Abhinav's ass. It was his placement party. Gulped one beer after another, and finally after 3 bottles down, me srini and Chitta sat outside my room remembering all the good time that we have had the past two years. It was 4Am early morning! Nostalgia! I was too full, and went to Abhinav's room to sleep as there was no mattress in my room. Well, as was expected, I puked. Abhinav got the perfect parting gift. Sorry Abhinav! How could I not puke on the last night at L? He he. Would remember this for long, and so will Abhinav I am sure.

March 18^th: Mom and Dad came in quite early and we started packing. My head was still heavy with the overdose of the previous night. I dashed off to gupta's for two full glasses of Lime Soda – perfect to get my head back to normalcy. We set off to the station at 10:30AM, and off to Kazipet. The train journey was quite long but was made interesting by the company of fellow IIMites also present in the same train going to Hyderabad.

March 19^th: Reached Kazipet at about 2PM. I set off to a movie – BANK, to escape the ennui. In the evening me, mom and Dad chatted away waiting for the train in the waiting hall. The train started off for Tirupati at about 8:30.

March 20^th: Reached Tirupati early in the morning, and we set off to Tirumala (hill top) directly. After getting the pre booked accommodation there, I and Dad set out to the tonsure hall to get our hair tonsured. Yes, after growing real long hair for months, I went bald! We did the Darshan in the evening, and retired early.

March 21^st: After waking up early in the morning (that is at 8:30AM!) got ready and set out for the second Darshan. I somehow cannot understand the logic. Doing Darshan twice I don't think would warrant better punya!! After whiling away all afternoon and also some shopping, we hired a taxi to get us back down the hill. The train back home started at about 9PM.

March 22^nd: Reached vizag at 11AM, where jatin was ready to receive us.

END OF TEERTHALIYA

Life at the Terminal

2009-03-11T02:31:00.001+05:30

Wrote this at the Delhi airport on Saturday, 28^th feb 2008

Airports were one thing that had really fascinated me when I was young. I still remember the interest and child like fascination I had when I went to the Vizag airport for the first time to receive someone. That was like fifteen years back. The fascination still holds.

I am presently at the New Delhi IGI airport in the terminal 1A (Is someone known around?) waiting for my 6:30 flight to Lucknow. It is still 4PM, and have been here from 2PM. Four and a half hours early than the departure time!! This is not required even for an international flight!! Well, when you have nothing better to do, and do not wish to travel across Delhi with a laptop bag on your back, this is the best resort.

Now coming to the basic question – what am i doing here? This is my second trip to Delhi within five days, and no! Am not working for any Delhi based company. I have come here for some work related to the Teerthaliya, i would soon be taking across the country – before and after the convo. I completed all my work yesterday, and my flight back to Lucknow is scheduled for today evening.

After wandering aimlessly at Select City walk mall and Saket, and hanging out at the Barista and Coffee day all alone all morning, i finally decided that the airport would be a better place to pass time. I atleast would not have suspicious looking passerby's when i open my laptop at the airport. After some deliberations with the guard, i was let in 4 and half hours before the scheduled departure.

At the airport one finds all kind of people, right from the seasoned consultant looking person in heavy suits and light suitcases, to the first time traveller looking at everything in detail and with a kid's curiosity. As usual, i first delved into the book store here, and after browsing for a considerable time, i just could not find anything that i could pick up. I then decided that i should probably go and have a beer at the cafe attached to the terminal. Thanks Delhi airport terminal 1A for having such a facility.

The cafe was a very top class one, with the rates being even more hi fi. But well, i had to pass time, and a lot of that, so i settled down there and just ordered a beer for myself. Everyone one there was probably like me – alone, frustrated, waiting for the plane (obviously, what else would they wait for at the airport?), and willing to pass time. I, for the first time in my life, was reading a book while drinking beer. Shit! How much more could life get interesting? (pun intended!) Well, even this behaviour of mine was instigated after looking at people around me, half of whom were following the same ritual. Does reading a book seriously give that a good impression on everyone? So what even if the book is the latest copy of penthouse? (Nah! I was reading The Reluctant fundamentalist)

After completing the beer in more than 5 times than the normal time taken for consumption, i walked out of the cafe after a good 1 and a half hour time. It is 5PM, and my security check announcement also is not made yet! I don't feel like reading anymore, so what better? Get the laptop out and watch a movie. Damn! All my movies are on the hard disk, which is in Lucknow. So better?? Blog!

This was one whole day spent at the Delhi airport terminal, not knowing what better to do. One wonderful day it was, and i am sure i would remember it for long!!

Till then, Happy holi and i hope you have armed yourself with lalu and Nitish for tomorrow morning's fight!!

p.s.: I am starting off for the teerthaliya tomorrow, so may be off from the blogosphere for some time. Also, there is possibly a major change in my way of blogging coming soon. Keep your fingers crossed. Once again, HAPPY HOLI!

These are the best, ahem! Idle boring, days of my life!!!

2009-03-08T16:29:00.001+05:30

One thing for sure – I am never ever going to be so vela and idle in my life, hopefully. Smack! Right from November actually, after getting the PPO, I have been completely free, relieved and jobless after having a job in hand. I have since then been hearing things like – "Oh! Come on! What work do you have anyways?" aargh!

So then I decided ok. Enough. I would indulge myself in something. I would utilize this time in the most productive way possible. So, I prepared my own Bucket list – Ah! Well, not that I amm soon going to die. "No sir, I have not been diagnosed with 'lympho sychoma of the intestine!'"

Han! Coming to my bucket list. It is weird. It is very dreamy. No, I don't intend to settle down in MARSS, and not that it contains things not achievable, but just that I am too lazy for it. The list reads something like this –

LOYALTY PROGRAM – huh! Would discuss this in detail, when the time is right.

PHOTOSHOP – Right from my engineering second year, I had this fascination of learning Photoshop for all the amazing things it can do. In fact, I even have installed it a zillion times on my desktop earliler, and now on my laptop. I even searched for all the learning material possible. But well, the laziness inherent crept in, and I could never make a serious attempt.

SALSA – How bad would it be, going with a hot chik to a pub, and not knowing how to dance and rather prefer sitting close to the bartender. Not really a good sign for any kind of relationship. Not at all, if the girl loves dancing. Also, it is fun to dance if you know the steps right. And what better steps of dance than salsa? So, me and Chitta very ambitiously enrolled ourselves at Planet Salsa, paying a decent amount of money for the 30 day course. Of course, we were also somewhat influenced by Rab ne.. to some extent, and were quite eager to meet the tani partner of our choice. Well, as usual – the lazy bugger awoke, and we just went to the class one evening. Chitta claims that he went twice!

Get Screwed.. On the rocks – A project, which is under highly confidentiality agreement right now, and even for this project – which is quite close to my heart, the lazy bugger threatens to take control.

TT/ Baddy / Tennis, - Some sport damn it! I realized that I don't play any damn sport and it is high time that I picked up one. I dabbled in TT during my intern and it was quite interesting and I loved it. But once back to campus, and I stopped playing. Similarly I dabbled in Tennis on evening, Baddy a couple of times, and etc.. So this is the right time that I indulge in these and master in atleast one game. Would also help me keep fit. But alas! The lazy bugger! Somebody please kill this bugger.

GYM – I better not talk about this. I did seriously indulge myself in it, and it was even regular. I went in every evening, and the N72 music was quite decent to keep it going. But well, the placements (not mine!), exams, and then the Delhi trips completely made gymming take the backseat.

Musical Instrument – one more innocent intent of learning something for my relaxation. I was even on the verge of buying a guitar, and even had a detailed talk with a member of the official band of the campus. But well, the bugger!

Newspapers – I have this habit of hoarding all my newspapers and not disposing them off without having a detailed look. I presently have a hoard full of newspapers dated December 2008. They have just kept piling up, and I have not done much about it. Throw them – no my policy does not allow that. Read them – the bugger does not allow them. Huh!

Thinking of all this may make one wonder – what the hell does this guy do all day? Huh! Let me know, if you get the answer.

Yeah, one more thing I have been indulging myself too much of late is rehashing the blog. I would very soon move to my own domain on the blogosphere, and the non-technical person that I am, it is getting quite tough. Any suggestions?

Sri Lanka Cricket team attacked in Pakistan: 8 wounded

2009-03-03T10:29:00.001+05:30

"Sachin Tendulkar injured in a bomb blast. Dhoni escapes with bruises."

This would have been the headlines in marquee on the font page of TOI right now. But well, thanks to our security agencies warning, the tour was cancelled.

Sri lanka instead took up the chance and agreed to replace India.

India was to tour Pakistan in January-February to play three Tests, five one-dayers and a Twenty20 match. However, the Indian government did not clear the tour in the wake of last month's terror attacks in Mumbai, which it has blamed on terrorists based in Pakistan. This resulted in the desperate PCB sending an invitation to Sri Lanka Thursday.

Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) chief operating officer Saleem Altaf thanked Sri Lanka for agreeing to play the series.

Well, a very nice way to thank the team indeed. Injure them. Bomb them.

Gunmen killed at least four people in an attack on the Sri Lankan cricket team's bus on Tuesday as it drove to a stadium in the Pakistani city of Lahore, according witnesses and cricket officials.

Sri Lankan media, quoting the sports minister, said four players received minor injuries in the attack -- Kumar Sangakkara, Ajantha Mendis, Thilan Samaraweera and Tharanga Paranavithana.

Pakistan television channels news channels said four people were killed.

A witness told Reuters he believed two police commandos were killed along with a regular policeman and a traffic warden. Shopkeeper Ahmed Ali said the two police commandos had been driving behind the team bus when they were hit.

"It was a very heavy firing and I heard at least two explosions at the time," said a Reuters witness who had been on his way to cover the test match between Pakistan and Sri Lanka.

Pakistan only invited the Sri Lanka team to tour after India's team pulled out with security concerns following the militant attacks on the Indian city of Mumbai in November.

Security concerns have plagued Pakistan for years and some foreign sports teams have refused to play here. India has been in and out of this relation of playing against the close neighbours. This incident further aggravates the issue. It makes me wonder sometimes, is it for fun that the Pakistanis involved in such incidents indulge? Is it like, "yaar, aaj bahut bore ho raha hun. Chal kisiko maar kar aate hai."

Or maybe, " yaar bahut dino se Pakistan ki khabar international news mein nahi hai"

"koi na, Sri lanka waale yahin hai. Chal thodi net practise kar lelte hai."

HYPOCRICY

2009-02-24T00:22:00.001+05:30

This is how I would refer to most of the Indians. Just two days back we were discussing on the so called taboo topic – "Pre-Marital Sex". This was one of the many discussions that arise after the 'stag' sessions in the official casino of IIML. (Yes, my room has been declared!!).

Surprising to find that even the most outward looking person was trying to defend, "No, Its consequences are very bad on the society!"

"Dude, we make the society". But nah! He would not listen. And well, he was not alone. Many like him, who would not mind doing things like that themselves, but when it comes to take a stand, become the moral police of the country; of the RICH Indian culture; of the Indian Society.

Such people are found in every corner of the country. In rural places, it is understandable; they don't have access to high education level nor the exposure to the global world. They are narrow minded by the way they have been living and their surroundings. But even in the capital of the country – Delhi! Did not expect this!

A guy and a girl are allowed to stay together all day, but well once it is 11PM, NO! What? Can they not indulge in so called immoral activities in the daylight? They very well can! But that is allowed. "What would the society think if they are together all night?" retorted a landlady here.

Everyone is just afraid of the society. The first person is afraid, "what will the others speak of this?", the next one with a similar fear. Internally everyone wants to feel like, and maybe even is, a non-orthodox forward thinking person. But at the outset would like to get limited by the boundaries of the society. The same society they themselves form. Hippocrates.

It is like the Black Monkey that resides in everyone's heart, very well summarised by the latest flick – Delhi 6. The monkey resides within us and we manifest it, give it growth and foster it to become a huge behemoth that it eventually turns into. Sometimes to further our own aspirations, but most of the times just to add to the gossip; become a part of the story.

The conditions become frustrating and suffocating, and well what does it turn into? The same. Carry forward the story. I suffered, so you also suffer. Or is it that we get limited by the thinking and we cannot think beyond?

No point ranting about it. We as a complete society need to change and look forward – A very idealistic far-fetched dream!

Else, just ignore the society that surrounds you. They just need some fodder to discuss on their next coffe break at office – "Hey, you know! This girl was having a male guest at her place all night yesterday".

The reply: "Oh! Really! How shameful? Where is the world heading to?"

Chuck it. Just ignore, and live life they way you want to. Life is too short to be bound by such artificial illogical boundaries!

On an ending note, congrats to "SlumDog Millionaire", for its sweep run at the Oscars. And more so to A.R. Rahman for the laurels he has brought to the country! Even here, we needed a foreign director to bring out something very coherently Indian!

And what do we do? Protest! Slumdog is derogatory! HIPPOCRATES!!

100 rupai.. in times of recession

2009-02-02T15:15:00.005+05:30

Well, a very happy Christmas to you. What? That was like one and a half months back. I don't remember wishing you then, so the wishes. Better late, than never. I have once again resorted to the easy way. The shortcut to blogging. Putting pictures and writing some random crap, and reduce the effort. I will try my best not to resort to this tactic again, and rather involve myself in better journalistic writing. Huh!

The current economic slowdown has probably hit too hard, and it is said that this is the best time for unleashing creativity. Now you know why the ET IDEAS initiative was kick started at this time? Angel investors is no fool.

Talking about the pictures now, which all sum up, or maybe provide the very much required laughter!

Very well summarises the movement of the market indices through the years.

Ah! My Baby!
I thought such queues exist only in our densely populated country.
Also, keep the anti-depressants (only one pill) ready in hand.
Ah! The graph has hit the ebb. It has stooped so low that there is no more downwards. Here come the good times, now t has no option but to rise.
The bankers again get an advantage.
Ha! The broker and the investor.
JOB JOB! Where are they?
Back to the good old times.
Told you the indian way of living, by loading up stacks of black money in unthinkable un reachable positions is the best form of investing. Talking about black money makes me think. What would have happened to the money hoarders in Zimbabwe? The currency is inflating at levels that would even put to shame Harry Potter's hair growth to shame!
No more loans buddy. Keep your money safe, in the safe. The joke doing the rounds in campus – "FLASH NEWS: One more bank hit by the economic slowdown due to default on Educational loans. Punjab National Bank; Two years back it proudly put up a banner stating that more than 200 students of IIM Lucknow are now its 'esteemed' Customers."

Looking at the conditions it is very much possible for such a free coupon to come up soon. "Buy a Zinger Burger at KFC, and get a scratch card free. "

Laughter is the best medicine in such times. And music is a close second. Nothing like the soothing effect of a Rock Song (pun intended). Thus, the latest song by Zeest, yes yes the BC SUTTA band from Pakistan, has released a new song. This time on the "FINANCIAL FUCK UPS and BROKEN HEARTED PEOPLE", in their own words. You can download the song here.

Kabhi to koi din aisa hoga.. jab meri jeb mein paisa hoga..

100 rupai…

Chai bhi peeni hai.. Paan bhi khaana hai.. Haath mein uski sutta bhi jalana hai.

I may soon be getting a PadmaShri!!

2009-01-30T16:43:00.001+05:30

The revered PadmaShri awards which have a lot of social value attached in India are enticed by everyone. Every year on republic day, the government comes out with a list of people who would be awarded the coveted awards – padma shri, padma Bhusan and Padma Vibhusan; not to mention the coveted Bharat Ratna. The awards committee looks at individuals world over, and circles down the people who have impacted the most to the nation in different fields like arts, culture, economy, literature, etc.

In such circumstances this news comes as a big joke.

Khan was nominated for the Padma Shri under the art, culture and literature category. Then it was corrected to the craftsmen category, but when the hunt for Khan started after his nomination, it was found that no craftsman by that name existed in Jammu and Kashmir.

If this kind of laxity happens with such a prestigious award, I don't see any reason why I cannot be called padma Shri Bharat Jhurani, aka Padma Shrimati.

Jobs Jobs.. Where are they?

2009-01-28T05:01:00.002+05:30

Its placement time in campuses across the world, but where are the jobs? The newspapers, pink and white, have not been very friendly or encouraging in this matter of late. Every day we hear of reports about layoffs, large companies (read big recruiters) in distress, no jobs in market, and top it all THE financial fraud.

In such times the article in MINT, about overseas students also looking for a share in the Indian job market pie, makes it even more tough, or competitive.

The reasons for this are manifold:

This year, fewer companies are expected to visit campuses—several international investment banks, traditionally big hirers on campuses, have either gone under or no longer exist in their previous forms—and the competition among students will be tough.

As stated, companies which were dreams are now the worst nightmares. Who could have guessed that a company of Lehman Brothers repute, where a majority of individuals would vie to work in, would go bust one fine day? And if Lehman can be a victim, why not any other company? Who could have evn guessed in the wildest of his dreams about the Satyam balance entries being reversed by one letter of the chairman?

"We certainly are seeing a lot more interest from Indian students in foreign business schools," said Sri Rajan, partner at consulting firm Bain and Company's Indian arm. "We are seeing a lot more applications for two reasons—economy in the US is pretty bad and long-term growth prospects of India are better. So, applicants are hedging their bets."

One more reason for the overseas students looking at India as a greener pasture is the glowing opportunities provided by the emerging economies of the land of tiger and Dragon. This probably also explains new interest for the incoming exchange program among students of developed countries.

Some students say India will remain a long-term bet for many and recession has nothing to do with their plan to move back home.

India as a long term bet once again summarizes the above said reason. Emerging Economies. The future power.

Thus, the conditions are terrible no doubt, and it does require test of patience and courage to steer through it. As a friend here in L animatedly described, " We would be a batch of Phoenix. Literally rise from the ashes."

In such conditions, IDEAS – the economic times Initiative for emerging and budding entrepreneurs is very well timed. In L itself, many of my batch mates here are contemplating various B Plans. The initial plan while joining was to first get placed in a good paying job, work for a couple of years and then start of on own. But now, looking at the gloomy market scenario for jobs or maybe the brighter market scenario for start-ups, the plans have changed.

Movie Time

2009-01-21T21:27:00.002+05:30

Joblessness, or rather having an offer in hands in these times of recession, really gives one a lot of time to spend on things one always wanted to do.

I have been quite jobless in the last few weeks, and I would like to believe that I have spent them quite effectively. I had this "7 things to do before I post-graduate". Going at this pace I doubt if I would be able to even complete half of them. Maybe three, but well, that is still less than half right?

Movies were never in the radar in these SEVEN THINGS, but have been quite involved with them. What other activity demands one to just stare at the screen, sit on the chair or lie on the bed in the blanket, looking into the happenings or rather tragedies with other people's lives? MOVIES. Have seen quite a few of them of late, and here I would like to review them for your benefit (or is it just to keep track of all the movies that I have seen?)

SlumDog millionaire

The internationally acclaimed film by Danny Boyle about the rise of jamal Malik, an indian Slum Dweller, winning millions of rupees on a TV reality show. It shows the streets of Mumbai, and its slums very well. The actors were all fantastic, and A R Rahman's music needs no more certification after winning all the major awards. Jai Ho!!
Rating: 9/10
Khuda Ke Liye

Pakistani movie about the difficulties of Pakistanis and muslims in general after the world trade center attacks. The different tracks running at the same time and their proper integration into the main theme is very appealing and makes the movie quite entertaining.
Rating: 8/10
Seven pounds

One more from Will Smith and Gabriele Muccino after The Pursuit of happiness. A heart touching saga of an IRS agent and his way to exemption, is exemplary. The last scene especially with Will Smith finally achieving his objective and his revelation of the real motive is heart rendering.
Rating: 8/10
The curious case of Benjamin button

It has been a dream since time immemorial to age backwards. To get younger as we grow old. To maintain the same physique and strength of youth even after a person gets old. This movie explains this dream and very beautifully in that. A small young boy, born old with weak legs and wrinkled face has this curious thing going on – He gets younger as he grows older by age. The screenplay in the form of narration by an old lady keeps up the grip of the story, and the tragic end of Benjamin is amazing.
Rating: 7.5/10
Gran Torino

Clint Eastwood can be bet with any amount of money. Here Mr. Eastwood not only directs but also acts, so Sone par Suhaaga (double benefit). An aging Clint Eastwood helps a young teenager of his neighbourhood after the young lad steals his prized possession – Gran Torino. It gets disturbing in parts in the later half of the movie when the neighborhood is attacked and the lad's sister raped. The ending is again touching.
Rating: 6.5/10
Blue Velvet

This is touted as the most talked about film of the decade – 80's. It very well is that engaging. After finding a severed ear in the fields a guy complains to the local police but then decided to search the crime himself. He is joined by the detective's daughter herself in this journey and they both discover a whole underworld kingpin lying in their neighbourhood. It is quite disturbing for the nudity and the sexual violence it portrays.
Rating: 6/10
Young people fucking

A real timepass movie if you have nothing else to do. A fat paced comedy about 5 couples about one sexual encounter. It can serve as a good reminder to young couples and help them better their sexual lives. The movie is not all that grose, though the title suggests so. A better title could have fared the movie a better response. The present title at the first reference gives a feeling of it being a porn movie.
Rating: 6/10
Changeling

Angelina jolie has done a great job, and she perfectly fits the bill of looking like a LA woman in the 1920s. Jolie reports about her lost son to the police and after a few days a boy is returned to her. At the very first notice she identifies, " no, he is not my Son!". The corrupt police pass on some other kid as hers and convince her into that. One more Clint Eastwood gem and it completely holds the attention of the watcher all across the movie.
Rating: 6.5/10
Zack and Miri Make a porno

Zack and Miri are the best of the friends and stay together. To overcome their financial problems they decide to make a porno movie and solve all their problems. In the process they discover the hidden love for each other. It is a light comedy and has quite a couple of hilarious situations.
Rating: 6/10
Strictly sexual

Two successful women are sick of dating, relationships and all the emotional baggage along with it. They decide to hire two guys to their house strictly for sexual purposes. No strings attached. As the movie progresses the relationship becomes more than a sexual one, and graduates to love. A fresh original story and it is fun.
Rating: 7/10
So, not this does with the movie review for the time. I am also engrossed with the HEROES Series to keep myself more occupied. Smirk!

Confessions of a Medical Mind

2009-01-20T23:46:00.002+05:30

One more review post. This time of a blog.

My friend here at L, Abhinav Akhilesh (aka Doc) has started a new blog based on his upcoming book.

The book is about the story of a medico student, or so it seemed from the blog.

I request you all collegian readers to please have a look at the blog and provide Doc with some constructive feedback.

An excerpt from the blog:

"Baap kya karta hai aapka?", the balding professor thundered.
And, suddenly everything went blank.
It was 2003, and a nubile 16 year old Rakshita was having a hard time deciding what stream she wanted to study after her secondary school. Her application to an International School of debatable repute had been accepted, but her family wanted her to stay in India. They had just shown her an advertisement for admission to arguably the country's best school. Rakshita wondered, was it the case that her parents wanted a trophy for the showcase in their house? A daughter who had been accepted at the Delhi Public School, RK Puram, noted widely as the toughest school to get into in India. But she quickly settled for the fact that no parent ever wants anything for their child unless they feel it is for her own good.

(Source: Confessions of a Medical Mind)

Vote for Amit Varma

2009-01-13T15:16:00.001+05:30

What is an election campaign doing here? Nah! Its not about elections out here in campus.

Amit varma, accomplished blogger and soon to be author (his book My Friend, Sancho is ready to hit the markets), has been nominated for the 2008 weblog awards in two categories.

Best Asian Blog
Best Political Coverage

It is the only blog written out of India to be nominated.

About Amit Varma,

He used to write the weekly column Thinking It Through[1] [2]for the business newspaper Mint. He also writes the popular blog, India Uncut[3], which won the Best Indiblog Award at the Indibloggies in 2005[4] and was nominated again in 2006[5].

In October 2007, Varma won the 2007 Bastiat Prize for Journalism which aims to honour writers "whose work cleverly and wittily promotes the institutions of the free society"[6].

In 2008, his first novel, My friend, Sancho was one of the novels nominated to the Longlist For The Man Asian Literary Prize 2008.(Source: Wiki).

A person can vote once everyday from an IP. So please vote, and ensure that this guy from India brings laurels to the country.

INDEX'08

2009-01-07T17:29:00.004+05:30

INDEX- Information through Disguised Experimentation - this effort is aimed at tapping into the sub-conscious of the consumer. Businesses try to do this using conventional marketing tools, but at a high cost in terms of money, time and the inevitable biases that creep in. INDEX is IIM Lucknow's endeavour to provide to the industry quality market research from desensitized data.

Initially, about one and a half years back, when I got into IIML and introduced to these committees, I don't know what? But I was attracted to the INDEX. I so desperately wanted to get into it. But well, destiny had something else scripted for me, and I could not get INDEXed for life, as they would call it. No regrets. I got into Student Exchange Committee (STEX). But then, this pinch that I need to do something about INDEX.

I was already in a team – W.I.N. – Whats in a Name?. I did have lots of fun while in the team. Made some great friends. Many mentors among seniors – Prashant (Uncle), the team lead; Abhishek Bhatia; Mandal; Bhunia, and so many others. Also had many memorable memories, exciting adventures and also some learning. In whole, it was an amazing experience, and I had then decided that I would form a team.

I opted out of the exchange program, in my dearth to lead a team in INDEX. We started forming the team right in march with Tanuj and Srinivas as the first members. I had this zealous enthusiasm that I want to win INDEX'08. During my summers I always had this INDEX thing on the back of my mind. I also spoke to Mukesh Patnaik in detail about the whole process. (He is my senior and the INDEX winner last year. I had the chance to catch up with him in vizag during my summers). When the second year started, we were done with the senior team formation (comprising ten members) and after lots of heated discussion named the team – TOTAL RECALL. (The name was suggested by Varun Reddy).

As soon as the facchas came in, as suggested by Mukesh, we started scouting for them. Getting to know them, interviewing them, explaining them INDEX and then finally taking them in on the three point evaluator – Creative, Jugaad, BhakChod. The process of the junior team formation was tedious and it also raised healthy competition among teams fostering into camaraderie. Tha faccha team was formed and we partied out at nashwa.

Now comes the first step. Proposal making. We needed to win a proposal. We as a team recognised that this was our weakest link, and I had so many nightmares that I would land up without a proposal. A terrible thing to happen. The dynamics are so – there are 13 teams in campus, and INDEX core would get about 9 or maximum 10 projects to be executed. So about 3-4 teams would get dissolved. I at no cost wanted to be in that 3-4 teams. We did work hard and smart, and finally lapped in CITIBANK. That called for a celebration, in an 'unconventional' party. Everyone dressed and ready for the party and we all head to Fauji Dhaba outside campus in a open truck. One party that I am sure everyone would remember. Iit could not not get more weird than that.

Then the unexpected pleasant shock. I got a PPO from Cadbury, and everyone started believing I would have no more motivation. Actually yes, the CV did not matter anymore and I did not see any reason I should work for it. But well, how do I explain that INDEX is something that I was not doing just for the CV. I had things to prove. I still work, of course not with the same rigour, as lethargy and relaxedness had taken toll on me.

INDEX'08 was scheduled on 22^nd and 23^rd November. We started off with the prop design and the questionnaire design, along with the game design well in advance. It all went smooth, and our props were like one of the best among the teams, I can vouch. The process in place for prop preparation was intact and it showed in the results. The two days at the fair were tiring and fun at the same time. I slept for not more that 4 hrs in those two days. It was a very gratifying experience. We did party out a lot during those two days. Went out to Ritz for team dinner on both days, and also followed it up the nest week with a team outing for dinner. Also, in the tent itself, we arranged for alcohol, and even invited INDEX core for it. All the actors were having their glass ready while enacting their parts to the respondents!!

Now comes the final lag – the report and the presentation. Everyone had lost enthusiasm, and that includes me. The data was not being coded in spite of repeated requests. Mahale was busy preparing for TOEFL, and so were others in their own pursuits. The final blow, I was leaving town and would not be available when the report has to be submitted. Even Srinivas is out of town, and well tanuj was out long back (different story!). So only gaur left, and I hand him over everything with a request to everyone to follow Gaur. On Monday evening, when I was busy having fun in Jaipur at the wedding, I get reddy's message – "Dude, Please talk to gaur. No work is happening". I was like shit; I call up srini instead, and ask him to please complete the formality. Whatever little chances of winning were left are all forgotten, and now it has reduced to just a formality. The report does get submitted.

Saturday night is the deadline for the presentation to be submitted. I try and divide the work among the team members, but to no avail. No one seems to be interested. Why should i? I don't have anything at stake. Chuck it. Finally, after lots of persuasion, I and Srini start working on the ppt at about 10PM, with some inputs from Mahale on quantitative analysis. We complete some crap by 12 midnight. We then go out to the mess and eat lightly just to follow it up with some pegs of Royal Stag – My lucky charm. Trump card it is Abhinav if you want to call it so.

Presentation at 9:30AM on Sunday morning. My hair is oiled so I necessarily have to bath in that cold chilling fog filled weather. I mail the entire team to be present without much hope, and then mail some key members separately asking them to join me compulsorily. In Vain, I realise next day morning. I wake up baka and ask him to wake up Gaur and Mahale at least. Gaur replies back blatantly – "NO, I am not coming". Srini asks him some details about his part, and then me and Srini head to Mahale's room. After lots of requesting, he agrees to come but not in formals. We were like, "come in whatever way you like. Just come and present the quantitative part" He replies back, stopping where he is, "no Dude, I am not presenting anything. If they ask any questions I would defend you". With the fear that he would retract back to his cozy blanket, we agreed.

The first presentation people re walking out, and now thankfully we also have Ankush and Ali – none in formals. The saving grace were Swati and Shwetha who came in formals. At least to show the team bonding, and the gender diversity we have something. I and Srini are on the stage trying to explain everything in the uttermost smartness we can. We do a good job I am sure. I present the major part and Srini handles one part. In the end part of the presentation was the quantitative analysis of which I knew no shit, so I just skim through it. After we end with the thank you slide, the judge from ac neilson does not seem very happy, and remarks, " you gave a good presentation, but you know what? Somewhere in the middle I completely got lost". He then started shooting questions along with his counterpart on the rational of using various data, and the methodology by which we arrived at the numbers. A hard core statistician. My weak area. We try fielding him for some time with some globe, but of no avail. Now enters Mahale, who was just sitting idly all the while. He replies back in the same numbers tone and speaks quant for some 5 minutes. (maybe it was greek and Latin, I did not know). Then the judge again provokes Mahale by further introspection. Mahale is raged, and gets down to the stage. He takes a chalk piece and starts drawing the most obscure signs and equations explaining things with some graphs. Now I am sure it was latin, many of the signs on the board were. After the detailed explanation he retorts, " NOW AM I RIGHT?", after a brief pause, " YES, I THINK I AM". The whole hall is silent, and the judges awestruck. (Abhinav one more trump card this is for TOTAL RECALL). Prof. DDG, who was also the judge along with those from ac nelison finally asked some question to break the silence. This I handed with élan. My core competency as Baka calls – Speaking.

We have little hopes on the outcome, and only I and Srini attend the presentation ceremony in the evening. Shweta followed after sometime, and Ali and Ajit also were present. Other teams had a good 10-15 people representation. Great. First the traditional speeches by the judges. Thankfully they were brief. Then the individual stages results. We do not win any. 

Now for the final results. Overall INNDEX'08 winners. First the 2^nd runners up..

TOTAL RECALL

Whoa! I and Srini were like the most surprised people on the planet. We just keep staring each other for a moment. And then after Kaushik signals to come over, do we go the stage to collect the award. Huh! Finally it paid off.

We partied in the night at genesis club, where I got totally drunk! As usual!

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

VLCC - Don't venture anywhere close!!! PART 2

2009-01-07T01:16:00.002+05:30

Well, coming back to the beautician, a well dressed middle aged lady with looks of a doctor. Efficient acting I say. Even she exchanged the customary pleasantries (guess it is part of their training), asked me to be seated in front of the machine. I got excited. Wah! At last some action is about to happen. Well, she asks me to look at the screen, while she had a rod shaped camera, which she thrust on my face. After doing this at four different locations on the face, she declared that I had a dry skin. Wha? I can see that. You don't need a camera to say that. I told her sarcastically – "Even my hair is dry!" She again started off with the rod and placed it at four different locations on my head, and declared "Yes, Indeed". Baka joked, "That is because he has lots of alcohol". The lady immediately picked it up and started, "Yes, see here in the front part of your head, this gets directly affected by alcohol, and thus it is drier. Needs to be like a tight rope.. blah! Blah!" BullShit.

Mrs. Yogita now suggested that I meet the trainer at the Gym. I admitted, "Well ma'am, enough of these GLOBE sessions, we have lots of them on college. I can even find the same info online, and if required myself take a session. Let me know if there is some action happening. Some tangible activity, that I can speak about" She declared, "NO, today all our people our busy" and again pointed to the voucher stating for a prior appointment. I persuaded her, and she asked me to come back in an hour. Okay great! Talking about this Mrs. Yogita as soon as I and Baka first saw her we smiled at each other and hushed in Telugu, "if she herself looks so bad with a pimple affected face, a skinny posture, and an awful smile, how possible could she treat others to look good." I tried to reason, "Come on Baka, Doctors themselves need not be perfectly in shape to be able to treat others. Look at our Doc – our Batch mate".

Now I need to frikkin' wait for the damn service for one complete hour. We go out ganjing. Already full with the biryani we don't feel like eating anything, and just while away our time wandering across the mall. We get back to the VLCC centre at 5:45PM, in forty five minutes itself.

After a fifteen minute wait there, we get this opportunity to meet the busy Mrs. Yogita. She expresses in despair that everyone is still caught up. She offers to arrange a meet with the trainer. Well, something better than just waiting and watching oversized aunties inn their gist to get back to their old sexy days. We went to the gym. A crap small room, filled with treadmill, and just having a couple of weights. I swear the IIML gym is better. The trainer – a bellied person, trying to look smart by conversing in English. And again the same pleasantry – "How are you sir? What do you do?" I reply, "I am a student at IIML", and the conversation carries on.

I guess this initial pleasantry is to gauge the worthiness of the client. If it is a HNI, give more time, else just shove him off. He shows me the equipment. "Dude, it is not my first time to a gym", I mutter to myself. And then he explains, "Body building is an art. It requires much more than will and dedication. It requires passion, earnest enthusiasm, .. Blah! Blah!.. ". "Dude, I have heard this lot of times, tell me something tangible". He starts off again, "It is important to have a good diet and a pleasant mind. Sleep is also necessary.. blah Blah!", "Stop stop dude, I know that. Tell me something that I can practise back in campus.", I say politely. He starts, "It requires a personal trainer to tone up the body. Here I would tell you something, you would do something, and then that would spoil my name and reputation (Does he have any?), as people would think I suggest these kind of wrong exercises. So I suggest you join in our three month program, I promise I would develop your body into a well toned full of muscles."

The last part of the talk was in Hindi. I guess his sales pitch has been trained upon him in Hindi. I bid him a good bye, with a promise to think about it. Think? Ba*&^!!

Then I get back to the waiting zone, looking at their clients. Here I would classify the customers into three categories:

Wannabies – Rich spoilt teenagers. The ones who don't mind spending a grand or two just to get that streak or that curl before that all important party of their cousin's birthday.

USA – Un Satisfied Aunties. The ones whose husbands toil out hard all day in the office, and they spend it all on kitty parties. Looking slim trim and tones is secondary. Going to VLCC itself is a status symbol for them.
OUU – Over Used Uncles. The rich ones, mostly those who have inherited wealth from their family. After a particular age, and having earned enough, these people believe that they need to look younger to their teenager son, and start dressing in Goa tees, loose jeans and even try to impress in their broken English.

(I am thankful to Mr. Rajeev Kumra, our service marketing prof. at IIML to have suggested these classification titles which seemed very apt in this situation.)

Now after enough of waiting, even Mrs. Yogita I guess feels bad, and falls to our patience. She is convinced that these guys here are determined to get something done, and offers something to talk. I ask if a facial would be possible. Baka tries pitting that this guy is going to Jaipur to attend a wedding, and in very high probability may get engaged. So he needs to look good. Please get something done. She replies," Sorry Facial is not included in the voucher". Thank you Baka for making it clear in the beginning itself that we not paying a single paisa more than the voucher amount. I am frustrated to the core, "What the fuck is allowed in this God Damn Voucher?", I say to myself. She reads the frustration, and applies principle 23 of Customer Servicing – Give something to the Customer when he reaches threshold of breaking out. Remember hannah's case in Data mining.

So Mrs. Yogita announces, " You can have a face wobble. It is about.. Blah!", "Okay". I am in no mood to hear what it is. She replies, "Please wait!" After about 15 minutes, she returns and asks me to come inside, "Ah! Finally" I ask Baka to wait and I enter. Well, I am asked to wait here now. Thankfully a short wait. And then I am called to the facial – 1 cabin, and asked to lie down on the bed. Looks so much like a hospital and it is a beauty clinic. The similarity is just the word clinic I am sure.

Lying on the bed, the guy there starts off with routine initial pleasantry. Damn! Now I am irritated with this. Please give different lines to different people, at least at different levels. The head of the clinic asks the same memorised question, and so does the attender. He applies some mint flavoured cream, which felt really cold in this winter. Wish I was availing these services during summer. At least the mint cream would have been worth the effort. After the mint cream, my face is again cleaned back to normal, and I all the time presume that yes! Now I have the Hrithik looks. The guy there then applies some cream, which looks like scrub and leaves it all over the face.

After leaving me and my face smeared with cream all over for more than ten minutes (the guy must have felt a sudden urge to smoke) the guy comes back with a huge machine. He nearly burns my face with all the steam from some machine. Then he holds two tong like things and starts giving me mild shocks on the face. Shit! I was scared. "Please please I would pay, don't give me a shock treatment", I wanted to shout. But, I preferred being silent. After sometime when the pain started getting unbearable I asked him what it was. He replies calmly as if this is something I get done everyday – "Nothing sir, it helps tightening your face". I was like, "yes, it would. You are burning half of the cells on my face". After the Shock treatment for 10 odd minutes, he starts wiping my face and all the cream over it. I was happy, "yes, it is finally getting over". I could not have been more wrong. He again applies some white cream and leaves me, while he takes away the huge machine from the cabin. "Ah! No more shock treatment". He comes back and then after removing this strange white cream, he applies the mint cream that he first applied. The mint cream was probably some kind of solution to disable me from feeling anything more on the face. After removing the white cream I was finally told that it is all over.

The guy exchanges pleasantries and asks me if this is my first session. I reply, "Yes, first and probably last". I don't want to condition third degree on myself voluntarily. I walk out of the cabin. The guy was actually pushing that I actually take the face and hair treatment packages both. Each of which exceeds 5000 bucks.

After the session, I walk jubilantly to Baka who controls his laugh in vain. He chuckles and asks, "Dude, where were you all this time?" I reply, with lots of pride, "Getting a face wobble done". He satirically mocks that I don't look any different. Huh! So much, for one complete hour of pain and misery inflicted by the process, not to forget the wastage of time.

We are then led to the same Mrs. Yogita's cabin who greets us with all enthusiasm. She chats normally and agrees to extend my voucher till my next visit. (She probably realised that this did not make a good conversion of a voucher holder to a permanent client). She then also tries to cross sell the hair cut and shave service, which again is not included in the voucher. I excuse myself with the promise that I would return back.

I walk out of the centre at around 7:30, quite unsatisfied.

Update: I got a call yesterday from the customer care at VLCC asking me for my feedback (Desperate attempts to convert me into a permanent client). I reply back rhetorically and express my despair with the whole affair. After some time I am again called by someone senior who tries to pacify me. The second customer care executive or whoever she was even offers to include all the services in the voucher and requests me to the come to the centre once again. NO!! I don't want to risk whatever minimal looks God has bestowed on me. Whatever minimal this looks might seem. I at least look like something Human.

Some comments on VLCC on the internet,

" .. thanks to this fat punjabi women. A few years back Ms Luthra promised white complexion a la Michael Jackson and created a frenzy and a furore. Now she is claiming a world record in achieving 82 Kgs fat loss. But the reality is very sad. I have seen a patient too weak even to walk, skin hanging in folds and on the verge of heart collapse after record breaking fat loss through chemical diets and apetite suppressants. There should be combined public opinion to ban such kind of unhealthy practices. The best way to weightloss should be under a medical supervision. A healthy lifestyle, excercise and a beautiful mind is all it takes - not some dumb blonde with hobby course certificates from foreign countries. i've closely seen how it all works and some people may view it as libel etc. but I have seen one of my friend's suffering and I feel I must tell others as well."

"..I took the Bridal package at VLCC Koramangala, Bangalore. I am EXTREMELY UNHAPPY AND DISSATISFIED with the kind of service being provided there. The only thing they are interested in is how to take out money from the customer. Once they are done they are least interested in attending the clients.i have spent 22K. But I didnt see single improvement. I have spent so much money there that I cant even afford to take the service from other parlour and nor I have the time to take the service as my marriage date is 27th April.

Some of the incidents I would like to mention:

1. Thrice i was given appointment during weekdays. After attending office when i reached there, the attender told me that she cannot provide the service as some or other has to leave early. I literally had to request them the provide the service as it was a bridal package and i couldn't postpone otherwise I ll not be able to complete all the sessions.

2. Even after taking the appointment for almost every session I have to wait for 1/2 an hr to take the service. so most of the time my waiting time is more than the time spent on giving services.

3. Most of the time staff remains busy in their cat fights, and least bothered about the client waiting to get the service.

4. Once I was given an appointment for hair spa. n no body was ready to do the service that time. When i forced for that, a new girl who didn't know abt the treatment was appointed to do the service.

5. I took the micro derma treatment costs 15K. I was assured that i ll see at least 40% relief. But after 2 sittings of the treatment, some other doctor started taking the session the and she told me that i should have taken the glycoloc peel and this treatment may not give any relief. Now i don't have time at al to go for some other treatment. I would request to take action against them as the staff at VLCC, Koramagala is spoiling the image. I would never ever recommend anybody or take the service from VLCC. "

Okay so it was not only me at the receiving end. Some Solace.