My Life - Air India Chairman!!!

“Govt crushes AI strike; 17 union men sacked, several suspended”

This is the news headline in the TOI, and that set me thinking. Can Air India ever get out of its perennial problems? Maybe privatization is the key, maybe restructuring is the key. Or maybe, plain shutting it down is what would help it from making further losses.

Anyways, this post is not on air india, and I m not trying to give a bail out plan to get back air india in its days of glory. This post is about Arvind Jadhav – the man at the helm of affairs at the distressed airline, chairman of air india.

Getting to be the top guy at an airline steeped in losses, neck deep in debt, under the intense scrutiny of the media and dreaded by customers is not really a job everyone would ask for. But here, we have this one guy who is braving it all, and trying to bring some positive change.( true, it is not easy to handle the pressures in a messed up atmosphere)

Along with the existing set of problems, He also has to deal with recalcitrant unions, employees who are not too happy with him, and an excess of bureaucratic red tape. The day he took over he found a balance sheet in tatters, a declining market share, poor loads, poor on-time performance, business-class seats occupied only by the airline’s own staff and their families, aircraft flying to routes that do not make money and not flying to routes where everyone else seems to be making money. In other words, a “typical” public-sector organisation that was spiralling down towards a debt trap. Its net worth is slowly, but surely, getting eroded. To add to this, he found an “organisation where people felt nothing has gone wrong” and “that they were doing their best" ( How much true. This is the same that happens in any area where defeats have become the norm of the day!!!)

Okay, now why exactly am I talking about this guy in THE BHARAT JHURANI BLOG? This blog is no news article. Well, there is a strong connection.

Post merger with Indian airlines, the worries have only doubled.( nor did the demerger here in my own situation, help!!!)

To say that this guy has a lousy job is putting things mildly. The airline has accumulated losses of Rs 7,200 crore and is bleeding Rs 300 crore a month. The organisation’s structure is massive and unwieldy because of the incomplete merger between AI and Indian Airlines — there are two sets of managers for practically every position and nothing is shared. Its staff strength is roughly three times what an airline of its size should have. It has strongly entrenched unions who oppose tooth and nail any effort to cut costs. It has a terrible reputation for service and an even worse one for on-time arrival and departure. It has an ageing fleet and working capital loans in excess of Rs 15,000 crore. And it has ordered 111 aircraft for over Rs 40,000 crore, which it cannot pay. ( If your infra itself is not right, there is little you can do to show results. the basics should be in place for you to perform!)

That is not the worst. Being government-owned, AI has to contend with requests from politicians and bureaucrats — requests that it cannot refuse. More importantly, political considerations play a role greater than economic logic when any strategic decision is taken.( Interference for personal gains, and short term wins for some)

When Jadhav took charge last year, he started off with a fair amount of goodwill. He was seen as a competent, sensible and proactive bureaucrat with “fire in his belly” who would understand the underlying problems of the airline and take the correct steps.( Seriously!! that was the reason!!!

Unfortunately, Jadhav managed to alienate practically the entire staff of the organisation shortly after taking charge. He publicly lashed out at the work culture, at the sloppiness at every level of management, and the general lack of energy and ability among his staff who he felt were too pampered and overpaid.(Well, did not get much chance to do this. but yes, everyone is now on their heels and little should you care if they like you!!!)

Jadhav also pointed out that he was saddled with 32,000 people when he needed no more than 12,000 or so. There are many in the aviation ministry and outside who think he is not wrong. ( Works even more against if the opposite was the case. imagine working with 25% of vacant positions at any point of time!!!)

Jadhav’s personality has played no small role in his plummeting popularity ratings. The man tends to tell it like it is; can be perceived as abrasive; does not trust anyone easily; and can be obstinate. He was a shock for the AI workforce, which was used to considerably more placid bosses. (That is a good trait of an effective leader. only if things were happening like the way they ideally should, these same characteristics would have been the talk for his success)

The main criticism that Jadhav’s detractors level against him is that he has “not done enough”. Although the minister claimed in Parliament that things had improved , there is reluctance to give any credit for AI’s marginally improved performance to Jadhav. “The committee of secretaries (CoS) and the Cabinet have been seeking a recovery plan. But Mr Jadhav has failed to produce one so far,” says a senior ministry official. He says that Jadhav has been running around like a “headless chicken”, one day to the east and one day to the west. “He makes presentations, but they yield no result,” he says. They claim that marginal changes in the airline’s performance are at best a drop in the ocean and that the CMD is not at “grips with the situation”.( Oh My God, is this like the standard response everyone in such a situation gets?? " you are not on top of things". The improved aspects are seen as happening naturally. great!! So, why am i here??)

Well, for those who know me, and have been interacting with on a personal basis for the last couple of months sure would understand the connection between this article, connection between this man and me!!!

FRUSTRATED

Behne de.. mujhe behne de…

Sitting in the more than delayed train at some random station, and just waiting for it to move. These songs seem to be the only respite. I have plans. I want to be there. I want to go there and have fun, river rafting, kay kaying, rappling. Now that would be adventure. But thanks to Indian railways I am here in this damn hole called the bogie, in a small berth trying to fit in my legs.

Like everything else in life, here I am frustrated with two things. As economists would call it: a micro and a macro reason.

Let us first start with the macro reason – The Indian Railways. Can it never improve? Do we Indians not deserve punctuality in time? Are we not privileged enough to be asking for such basic necessities? Why, even after 150 years of operation, the operations part of the Indian railways is still a farce?

Thinking about it, it has little to do with the Indian railways in particular. It is the Indian government. Anything that the government puts its murky hands into, turns into crap. The Indian railways network is the largest in the world, and it also boasts of the largest employer in the world. Why not? There are so many of them who I am sure just sit at home, and draw their salaries.

Totally dejected I am, and not without any reason. I really used to like that dialogue from RDB – “ koi bhi desh perfect nahi hota, use perfect banana hota hai..”, but in the case of india, till this kind of government machinery exists, till the railways is just one big lucrative ministerial portfolio, till people are just interested in buying votes, and then making money out of the electoral process like a business, nothing is going to improve.

Seeing things like this, one rather starts believeing in, “you can’t beat them join them!”. Unfortunately that is what has been happening across the years in india, and nothing much has changed. Nothing.

Now coming to the micro reason of my present frustration here in this cramped berth. I hate side seats in the Indian trains. what average height of the Indian was assumed in making this. Indians are sure not this short.

Zindagi.. do pal ki.. intezaar kab tak.. hum karenge bhala.. ( playing on my winamp)

I was supposed to be there on the way to the resort to trek, raft, rapple, and do a host lot of other crazy things. I hate it. Why am I here? The Indian rail to blame, but more than that, why am I travelling on a Saturday morning? Why have I not retired on Friday evening itself for the weekend? I could have taken a flight yesterday evening, and slept comfortably at home.

No one to blame here, except me. People have told me, take a break. Have a life. There is something called work life balance. But I guess then I need to correct things out there. I need to do that extra thing to ensure things are done in my way. I am just behaving like a pure plain crazy workaholic. Am I really one? I am not too sure.

More than six months and have not been home, and have promised myself that I would not till I achieve my goals. I have not realy freaked out much in the last four months after taking over, I will not till everything is set.

My room has the poster, “I CAN REPAIR ALMOST EVERYTHING”, and I will repair it. But then dude, have a life!!! Huh! This is not the first time I am hearing this, and I have never ever felt bad working on weekends, working late into the nights, doing all the crazy travel, but then this time it has spoiled my plans. It has screwed my plans of doing something that I love.

Chill, big deal. I just enquired it would take another two hours to reach Bangalore. Two more hours. It is already two hours late, and two more hours. Perfect. Could not have asked for more. Why am I frustrated? Why? Damn!

For a journey which takes 8 hours, the train is delayed by four hours. Awesome. 50% more time to cover the distance. The driver was fucking drinking and sleeping around the night. Bas%&^.

Was just talking to mom the other day, and she was reminding me of my hatredness towards railways and was asking the reason why I was travelling on rail. I am an idiot (and not the aamir khan types!), that is why.

HATE IT!!!!

Oh girl you're mine... oh girl you're mine!!!!!

Those Two Months

This blog has existed for about 4 and a half years now, and I have been loyal to some extent to it. Yes, there have been these flirting moments, and those close calls, when I wanted to call it quits, but the overall love towards it kept me going.

Now this is not a girl that I should get so attracted to and keep raving about it(in case of girls, it is more out of compulsion and less due to the inherent want though!). The blog has indeed been a good companion, and has seen me through my ups and lows, and has now become a very integral part of me, my identity, my.. my.. . Okay! no melodrama here.

Sometimes, this makes me wonder, why do I actually blog?

We write to record our thoughts, true! The other reasons that I could convince myself are:

1. Makes me a better thinker (yeah! Socrates in the making!)

2. Makes me a better writer (obviously!)

3. Develops a voice within myself, which is consistent and natural
.
.
.
Ah bull..! I just write for fun! Coz, I enjoy writing and nothing else.

Do I never get these writer’s block? Obviously I do!

Sure, there were times when I was completely stuck, and did not know what to write, though somewhere deep inside I did want to write. In such times, I just walked out of the house, go to the beach ( in vizag), and start listening and eavesdropping on people. Random arbit people, that you would find in hoardes everywhere. It would then become that person’s story, and the keyboard kept clicking.

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.- ~ Steve martin

I realize that I have written atleast one post every single month since I started this blog. Every single month! Except for two months – Dec’06, and Nov’09.

I think I know the reason why this happened. Why these two months got singled out? What exactly happened during these two months?

December 2006

I was in my final year of engineering, and was living life kingsize. I had everything I always wanted, everything that any college goer would wish. CAT was going good, AIESEC was loads of fun, College was exciting and I was doing pretty decently there, I was on the verge of having a girlfriend,etc.. what better could one ask for?

CAT was done in November, and all the Sundays of December were scheduled in my diary with appointments with other exams – IIFT, XAT, SNAP, JMET, and what not!

With so much happening, I think there was little time left for any blogging. There was no time to actually sleep. Nah! I was not studying.

I remember this one exam – JMET. It was on the 10th of December, Sunday. Just two weeks before this, in the last week of november, I was crowned the organising committee president for a local conference of AIESEC, scheduled to happen on 9th and 10th December. Great! How do I manage this?

“Oh! Come on, I am striving to be a manager. This is the real test!. Multitasking”, I tried convincing myself.

All of December first week was spent in getting sponsorships, ensuring all logistical arrangements are in place, everyone is invited properly, etc.. the whole day, starting from 7 something in the morning with a team meet and a smoke at the beach to late midnight, I was caught up organising this.

Saturday, 9th December morning, everything was set, and i was in the hotel (venue of the conference) right at 8AM, to ensure last minute settings are done properly. The show went on all day, and the evening ( well late night!) parties also went on smoothly.

I was awake till 5:30AM in the morning, ensuring everything is going proper in the party, and there were no untoward events. Then also handling disputing couples who were booked in the same room, but now wanted separate rooms after their quarrel ( how would they end up if they get married?), helping puking people to get more comfortable, more so if the puking person is Asthmatic. This went on till 7 in the morning, and then I realize I have an exam at 10AM.

I rush home, asking my team members to take care, and assigning one person the power of attorney to take decisions for the morning.

I reached home with a shabby tattered look on my face, got freshened up, had breakfast and zoomed to the exam center. I looked like I had just woken up from sleep and walked through. I told my friends of the amount of alcohol within my body, that has been urging to vomit out since morning.

I somehow sat through the paper for two hours, and my sense of duty towards the conference ( or call it lack of trust in my team!) was so high, that Immediately after the exam I zoomed to the hotel, and it went on again like the previous night, right up till monday morning.

These two days were an example of the kind of fast paced of life, I was lucky to experience in december’06, and thus my reason for not writing a single post.

Ah! Well, before you start guessing, I got an AIR of 252 in JMET.

November’2009

This is the second such month, which went without a single post. I was in delhi in November having my Sales officer stint.

The last three months had been strenuous and quite eventful. My first actual exposure to the corporate world, to the world of FMCG, to the world of selling. Yes, I was a salesman! Ah! Well, a sales officer handling the central part of Delhi.

November was my review time, and I was badly rogered in my first review that happened on 26th October (yes, I do remember the date!).

Right from then, I was bent on proving a point and prepared hard for nights together trying to memorize everything that could be asked in the review. (it was scheduled to happen in the first week of November).

Ensuring that no stone is left unturned, I actually memorised everything. How many grams is each unit of every sku? what is the case configuration? how many sku’s in each outer?, what is the price of a single piece? of an outer? of a case? What is the retailer margin? distributor margin? the invoicing details, various placement programs, the details of each one of them, how many such outlets exist in delhi, how many in my area, which ones? Everything.

The next thing, I would start memorizing was the actual sku wise sale of each outlets of the 3500 odd outlets in my territory.!

Well, as luck would have it, my review did not happen in november first week. I rather went to jim Corbett national park with the delhi team. After the trip, when I was very much expecting my review to happen, I was instead sentenced off to meerut, UP for a week.

“I want you to butcher the RD there”, were the words directed to me!

I did not have an option, and taking it in the right stride went on. After two days in meerut, I was again called back for the branch review, within two days of my stay there in meerut.

I now expected my review to happen. It was already the second week of November and my next stint details had come. I attended the two day review, then the launch of a new product, and then on the subsequent Monday when I went to office (very hopeful that I would be reviewed today!), I was sentenced back to meerut.

“two days is too less. Go there for one more week!”, I was told.

“Yes Sir”, and I marched directly to meet Nisha in the evening and from there directly to meerut without any luggage whatsoever.

Here I need to thank Nisha for being there during those difficult days, which could have been a lot more depressing if not for her.

Stayed in meerut for the whole week, and started back on Saturday reaching delhi late night.

On Monday, again expecting the review to happen now that the vanvaas ( exile) of meerut is done, I was completely ready. Well, life cannot be all that simple. The review has further been postponed indefinitely, due to some urgencies!

I was free on tue and wed, as the review would now only happen on 26th, Thursday at the earliest. I went back to meerut, having nothing better to do here in Delhi. Met Nisha on Tuesday, and went back to meerut that evening, only to come back on Wednesday afternoon itself. I would rather prefer spending time with Nisha here in Dlehi, than whine there alone in meerut!

26th November, Thursday
I headed out to office, and this time not so hopeful that there would be a review. I spent the morning, again in the waiting room, cribbing about life in general. At about 2:30PM, finally after the long wait, I was called in for the elusive review. It went well, and it had to after all those nights of preparations.

27th morning, I took a flight to Chennai to meet people here in the south branch. Little did I then know, that this is the branch that I would eventually get posted to. I was in Chennai on Friday and Saturday, and then early Sunday morning, took a flight to Mumbai to attend some training program there.

Flew down to Bangalore on Tuesday evening, dec 1st, finally reporting to my next stint. ASM Shadow stint.

There, thus the whole month of November was filled with utmost depression, and despair, and yeah! I forgot to mention this – I even had a small argument with P, which turned out to be a big one leading to eventualities.

Novemeber 2009 was BAD! Now, how could i have blogged?

Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea

I am about to join corporate next week, and here I come across this picture which aptly defines the current job scenario. The placement scene seen across campuses back then in march said it all. Just about a year back, these very companies were thronging the campus for a slot, and this time over even after a lot of cajoling and sweet talk they relented – Hiring on freeze.

Forget hiring, many of the companies are actually firing away their employees, and some 'virtualizing' them ala Mahindra Satyam.

This picture, got on a mail forward, very aptly describes the current market scenario. One can't be like the man jumping off, due to the huge liabilities attached and a very remote chance of a job.

Also, it is getting tougher with every passing day to continue in the same job with cost cuts, salary cuts, virtualized and all. It is like being in the position of the fish.

Why am I ranting on the negatives of the job market just before joining a job? Nah! I am all charged and decked up for the new role. This holiday has really been long, and now I want to work.!!

Selling Education – Recession Proof Business

I have been home for the last three months or so, working for a coaching institute here as their part time faculty. Now this is something that I really enjoy, right after I completed 10^th standard. Giving tuitions to neighboring kids, trying to tutor my younger brother, and also giving gyan to whosoever cares to listen. So, teaching is something that comes naturally, and after a stressful day, spending some time with the students, interacting with them, and learning at the same time gives me a wonderful kick.

I realize that teaching is no more an honorable role that it was previously. Teachers can build up people, a society or a nation through teaching (Ah! Big talk!), and it goes without doubt saying that teachers are valuable assets in our country. The basic job of a teacher is to inspire and enhance the confidence of the student, and to bring out his/her hidden qualities. Many more basic personality traits like honesty, integrity, ethics, etc… are inspired by a teacher, but here I am just relating to teachers at a coaching institute, and the institute in general.

One thing that I have been observing for these three months is the mass commoditizing of education, as if it was something to be sold in the market. The commercialization of education, carried out by these coaching institutes, and then the B Schools is altering or disrupting the teaching and learning process itself. Advertising and other commercial activities in order to increase profit just negates all the goods of a nice education. It is like:

Want an MBA?

Join our coaching institute. More than half the junta at IIMs presently is from our institute. (How many were regular students? How many of them were actual students at all?)

We have approved and audited results from the biggest auditory services firm in the country, confirming our
claims (Okay! I agree to your claims, but what is the percentage of the people who do not make it anywhere?)

Sitting in the office, I look at despair students with their clueless parents, hanging their big money bags under their vests, trying to look for some information regarding further education. What happens? Are they shown the right path by the counselors present there? Obviously No. Infact, they are marketed some or the other course available at the coaching center.

Sir, an MBA today gives you the highest ROI, Says one of the ads at the center.

Cool! Maybe right, but what about the interest of the candidate? Just because the money here is good, a possible excellent scientist is sold off to become a mediocre manager.

"I think my son should do an M.Tech after engineering? He is very bright in his core subject." asks the parent (say Mr. Despondar) very curiously.

The counselor retaliates, "No, An M.tech even in the IITs do not offer you a great salary, sir", as if it is a sin to do an M.Tech.

"He should rather try for MS in the US."

That is because the counselor realizes that to pursue M.tech the student would have to prepare for GATE, an entrance exam for which they do not provide coaching. So she would be missing out on a possible student.

"Nah, that would be too expensive. I don't think I have the funds to send him to the US", exclaims the parent.

"Oh! That is okay. Then maybe he could consider CAT", the counselor replies, cleverly leaving out the information that CAT is for MBA, and not for any technical course.

The parent is now totally confused – M.Tech, GATE, MS, GRE and now this new bird called CAT. What the hell is this?

The counselor now starts off, "CAT is for an MBA in the IIMs, sir"

"They are like the best colleges in india, and gives you huge salary opportunities and opens up wide horizons... blah! Blah!"

This is because, the center offers training for CAT, and she would get a high commission on admitting a student for CAT.

After about half an hour of detailed brain washing and hard selling CAT, she manages to convince the parent that CAT is the best thing to have happened to them. The son, all this while has no say, and even now when Mr. Despondar is totally convinced, he gets no chance. Typical Indian middle class, where the parents try pushing all their dreams and decisions on their child – right from the choice of the colour of the bike, to the girl the child gets married to.

The parent pays the hefty fees of around 20k, emptying his hard earned bulging money bag, and walks out happily and satisfied. As if his son has already made it into the IIMs.

Now, the student – the son, who was actually interested in going ahead with technical studies, is forced to write CAT. There, the country loses one more potential scientist and there is born one more mismatch citizen who would always crib his life that he is not in a job he loves. Thanks to the coaching center.

The only mistake being – His dad ended up at an institute which offers CAT coaching and not GATE coaching. Similarly, many a students interested in MBA, end up writing GATE, thanks to TEA.

p.s.: More posts to continue regarding the same topic – Education at sale.

Disclaimer: All opinions expressed are personal and my own.

VLCC - Don't venture anywhere close!!! PART 2

Well, coming back to the beautician, a well dressed middle aged lady with looks of a doctor. Efficient acting I say. Even she exchanged the customary pleasantries (guess it is part of their training), asked me to be seated in front of the machine. I got excited. Wah! At last some action is about to happen. Well, she asks me to look at the screen, while she had a rod shaped camera, which she thrust on my face. After doing this at four different locations on the face, she declared that I had a dry skin. Wha? I can see that. You don't need a camera to say that. I told her sarcastically – "Even my hair is dry!" She again started off with the rod and placed it at four different locations on my head, and declared "Yes, Indeed". Baka joked, "That is because he has lots of alcohol". The lady immediately picked it up and started, "Yes, see here in the front part of your head, this gets directly affected by alcohol, and thus it is drier. Needs to be like a tight rope.. blah! Blah!" BullShit.

 

Mrs. Yogita now suggested that I meet the trainer at the Gym. I admitted, "Well ma'am, enough of these GLOBE sessions, we have lots of them on college. I can even find the same info online, and if required myself take a session. Let me know if there is some action happening. Some tangible activity, that I can speak about" She declared, "NO, today all our people our busy" and again pointed to the voucher stating for a prior appointment. I persuaded her, and she asked me to come back in an hour. Okay great! Talking about this Mrs. Yogita as soon as I and Baka first saw her we smiled at each other and hushed in Telugu, "if she herself looks so bad with a pimple affected face, a skinny posture, and an awful smile, how possible could she treat others to look good." I tried to reason, "Come on Baka, Doctors themselves need not be perfectly in shape to be able to treat others. Look at our Doc – our Batch mate".

 

Now I need to frikkin' wait for the damn service for one complete hour. We go out ganjing. Already full with the biryani we don't feel like eating anything, and just while away our time wandering across the mall. We get back to the VLCC centre at 5:45PM, in forty five minutes itself.

 

After a fifteen minute wait there, we get this opportunity to meet the busy Mrs. Yogita. She expresses in despair that everyone is still caught up. She offers to arrange a meet with the trainer. Well, something better than just waiting and watching oversized aunties inn their gist to get back to their old sexy days. We went to the gym. A crap small room, filled with treadmill, and just having a couple of weights. I swear the IIML gym is better. The trainer – a bellied person, trying to look smart by conversing in English. And again the same pleasantry – "How are you sir? What do you do?" I reply, "I am a student at IIML", and the conversation carries on.

 

I guess this initial pleasantry is to gauge the worthiness of the client. If it is a HNI, give more time, else just shove him off. He shows me the equipment. "Dude, it is not my first time to a gym", I mutter to myself. And then he explains, "Body building is an art. It requires much more than will and dedication. It requires passion, earnest enthusiasm, .. Blah! Blah!.. ". "Dude, I have heard this lot of times, tell me something tangible". He starts off again, "It is important to have a good diet and a pleasant mind. Sleep is also necessary.. blah Blah!", "Stop stop dude, I know that. Tell me something that I can practise back in campus.", I say politely. He starts, "It requires a personal trainer to tone up the body. Here I would tell you something, you would do something, and then that would spoil my name and reputation (Does he have any?), as people would think I suggest these kind of wrong exercises. So I suggest you join in our three month program, I promise I would develop your body into a well toned full of muscles."

 

The last part of the talk was in Hindi. I guess his sales pitch has been trained upon him in Hindi. I bid him a good bye, with a promise to think about it. Think? Ba*&^!!

 

Then I get back to the waiting zone, looking at their clients. Here I would classify the customers into three categories:

 

1. Wannabies – Rich spoilt teenagers. The ones who don't mind spending a grand or two just to get that streak or that curl before that all important party of their cousin's birthday.
   

 

1. USA – Un Satisfied Aunties. The ones whose husbands toil out hard all day in the office, and they spend it all on kitty parties. Looking slim trim and tones is secondary. Going to VLCC itself is a status symbol for them.
   

   
    

2. OUU – Over Used Uncles. The rich ones, mostly those who have inherited wealth from their family. After a particular age, and having earned enough, these people believe that they need to look younger to their teenager son, and start dressing in Goa tees, loose jeans and even try to impress in their broken English.
   

   
    

(I am thankful to Mr. Rajeev Kumra, our service marketing prof. at IIML to have suggested these classification titles which seemed very apt in this situation.)

 

Now after enough of waiting, even Mrs. Yogita I guess feels bad, and falls to our patience. She is convinced that these guys here are determined to get something done, and offers something to talk. I ask if a facial would be possible. Baka tries pitting that this guy is going to Jaipur to attend a wedding, and in very high probability may get engaged. So he needs to look good. Please get something done. She replies," Sorry Facial is not included in the voucher". Thank you Baka for making it clear in the beginning itself that we not paying a single paisa more than the voucher amount. I am frustrated to the core, "What the fuck is allowed in this God Damn Voucher?", I say to myself. She reads the frustration, and applies principle 23 of Customer Servicing – Give something to the Customer when he reaches threshold of breaking out. Remember hannah's case in Data mining.

 

So Mrs. Yogita announces, " You can have a face wobble. It is about.. Blah!", "Okay". I am in no mood to hear what it is. She replies, "Please wait!" After about 15 minutes, she returns and asks me to come inside, "Ah! Finally" I ask Baka to wait and I enter. Well, I am asked to wait here now. Thankfully a short wait. And then I am called to the facial – 1 cabin, and asked to lie down on the bed. Looks so much like a hospital and it is a beauty clinic. The similarity is just the word clinic I am sure.

 

Lying on the bed, the guy there starts off with routine initial pleasantry. Damn! Now I am irritated with this. Please give different lines to different people, at least at different levels. The head of the clinic asks the same memorised question, and so does the attender. He applies some mint flavoured cream, which felt really cold in this winter. Wish I was availing these services during summer. At least the mint cream would have been worth the effort. After the mint cream, my face is again cleaned back to normal, and I all the time presume that yes! Now I have the Hrithik looks. The guy there then applies some cream, which looks like scrub and leaves it all over the face.

 

After leaving me and my face smeared with cream all over for more than ten minutes (the guy must have felt a sudden urge to smoke) the guy comes back with a huge machine. He nearly burns my face with all the steam from some machine. Then he holds two tong like things and starts giving me mild shocks on the face. Shit! I was scared. "Please please I would pay, don't give me a shock treatment", I wanted to shout. But, I preferred being silent. After sometime when the pain started getting unbearable I asked him what it was. He replies calmly as if this is something I get done everyday – "Nothing sir, it helps tightening your face". I was like, "yes, it would. You are burning half of the cells on my face". After the Shock treatment for 10 odd minutes, he starts wiping my face and all the cream over it. I was happy, "yes, it is finally getting over". I could not have been more wrong. He again applies some white cream and leaves me, while he takes away the huge machine from the cabin. "Ah! No more shock treatment". He comes back and then after removing this strange white cream, he applies the mint cream that he first applied. The mint cream was probably some kind of solution to disable me from feeling anything more on the face. After removing the white cream I was finally told that it is all over.

 

The guy exchanges pleasantries and asks me if this is my first session. I reply, "Yes, first and probably last". I don't want to condition third degree on myself voluntarily. I walk out of the cabin. The guy was actually pushing that I actually take the face and hair treatment packages both. Each of which exceeds 5000 bucks.

 

After the session, I walk jubilantly to Baka who controls his laugh in vain. He chuckles and asks, "Dude, where were you all this time?" I reply, with lots of pride, "Getting a face wobble done". He satirically mocks that I don't look any different. Huh! So much, for one complete hour of pain and misery inflicted by the process, not to forget the wastage of time.

 

We are then led to the same Mrs. Yogita's cabin who greets us with all enthusiasm. She chats normally and agrees to extend my voucher till my next visit. (She probably realised that this did not make a good conversion of a voucher holder to a permanent client). She then also tries to cross sell the hair cut and shave service, which again is not included in the voucher. I excuse myself with the promise that I would return back.

 

I walk out of the centre at around 7:30, quite unsatisfied.

 

Update: I got a call yesterday from the customer care at VLCC asking me for my feedback (Desperate attempts to convert me into a permanent client). I reply back rhetorically and express my despair with the whole affair. After some time I am again called by someone senior who tries to pacify me. The second customer care executive or whoever she was even offers to include all the services in the voucher and requests me to the come to the centre once again. NO!! I don't want to risk whatever minimal looks God has bestowed on me. Whatever minimal this looks might seem. I at least look like something Human.

 

Some comments on VLCC on the internet,

 

" .. thanks to this fat punjabi women. A few years back Ms Luthra promised white complexion a la Michael Jackson and created a frenzy and a furore. Now she is claiming a world record in achieving 82 Kgs fat loss. But the reality is very sad. I have seen a patient too weak even to walk, skin hanging in folds and on the verge of heart collapse after record breaking fat loss through chemical diets and apetite suppressants. There should be combined public opinion to ban such kind of unhealthy practices. The best way to weightloss should be under a medical supervision. A healthy lifestyle, excercise and a beautiful mind is all it takes - not some dumb blonde with hobby course certificates from foreign countries. i've closely seen how it all works and some people may view it as libel etc. but I have seen one of my friend's suffering and I feel I must tell others as well."

 

 

"..I took the Bridal package at VLCC Koramangala, Bangalore. I am EXTREMELY UNHAPPY AND DISSATISFIED with the kind of service being provided there. The only thing they are interested in is how to take out money from the customer. Once they are done they are least interested in attending the clients.i have spent 22K. But I didnt see single improvement. I have spent so much money there that I cant even afford to take the service from other parlour and nor I have the time to take the service as my marriage date is 27th April.

Some of the incidents I would like to mention:

1. Thrice i was given appointment during weekdays. After attending office when i reached there, the attender told me that she cannot provide the service as some or other has to leave early. I literally had to request them the provide the service as it was a bridal package and i couldn't postpone otherwise I ll not be able to complete all the sessions.

2. Even after taking the appointment for almost every session I have to wait for 1/2 an hr to take the service. so most of the time my waiting time is more than the time spent on giving services.

3. Most of the time staff remains busy in their cat fights, and least bothered about the client waiting to get the service.

4. Once I was given an appointment for hair spa. n no body was ready to do the service that time. When i forced for that, a new girl who didn't know abt the treatment was appointed to do the service.

5. I took the micro derma treatment costs 15K. I was assured that i ll see at least 40% relief. But after 2 sittings of the treatment, some other doctor started taking the session the and she told me that i should have taken the glycoloc peel and this treatment may not give any relief. Now i don't have time at al to go for some other treatment. I would request to take action against them as the staff at VLCC, Koramagala is spoiling the image. I would never ever recommend anybody or take the service from VLCC. "

 

Okay so it was not only me at the receiving end. Some Solace.

VLCC - Don't venture anywhere close!!!

VLCC?
I was never a metro sexual kinda person, to be thronging such places for external beauty. My visit to the barber was all that I actually did for the looks and even that just I look presentable. People staying with me would vouch on the fact that it is easier to live with the Taliban terrorists, rather than an unshaven, not bathed from 6 days, and not brushed Bharat Jhurani.

But of late, I have been getting these internal vibes to take care and look good. No, I am still single! This is what explains my daily tryst with the brush and Close up Calcium with added ingredients, new found garnier Fructis for the hair, Dove for the face, cinthol for the body and calmness for the mind. It also explains the reason I am bathing everyday in spite of the temperature not exactly being conducive for such an action.

Thus, a couple of days ago, when Chitta announced that he has a VLCC voucher worth 5000 bucks, i immediately laid my hands on it. But Abhinav, being that huge and rusty guy he is, had the better of Chitta and overpowered him to take the voucher. Now I had this seemingly tough task of convincing Abhinav to part with the voucher.

I went to Abhinav’s room, and praised him Explained to him that he looks great, and such VLCC likes are for lesser mortals, ugly looking ducks like me (Generally it would require lots of chocolates for me to actually say this). Nah! Abhinav did not agree. Come on even he is an IIM MBA. One more trick in Strategic Business Negotiation – The Amitabh trick. Remember an old Indian Amitabh flick where he buys an house for double the price, and tells the builder that even if he had charged 4 times the actual price, Amitabh would still have paid it, as his mother worked on the construction. Thus, the value of the product perceived by different people is different.

I offered Abhinav a full pack of Classic regular, and he immediately agreed. 5000 bucks voucher for just 88 bucks. Cool deal that was. But well, as I said, perception of value. And moreover, Abhinav earned that pack just for overpowering Chitta. He did not have anything to lose.

Anyways, so on 25th December, me and Baka set out for VLCC. First a Mutton biryani at Spice, recharge for the reliance data card, and then off to Sahara ganj to VLCC.
With lots of scepticism, and initial doubts, we entered the premise. Wait! Sujith was already sitting there, and on further probing we found that he had come here for some scalp thing. Anyways, I head to the reception and show here this voucher, and ask her for assistance. She asks me to wait.

After an irritating wait, my eyes found a board asking to request for a service menu. Wah! Now beauty has been turned into a restaurant business. Many therapies on the platter please fulfil your satisfaction. Anyways, I am not able to make much sense out of it, and just ask for a pedicure and Manicure. “ No, Sir. That is not available with the voucher”. The receptionist says. “Where is it written?”, I ask to myself in a flabbergasted look. The receptionist there understands my confusion and helplessness and offers me to meet the head receptionist (or was she the owner?) there after some time. So wait once again.

After another 25 minutes, and a couple of enquiries about this busy head I am about to meet, I am introduced to Mrs yogita (I am sure she was married by her age, marred with a lot of make up to cover it up), who led me to her cabin. She also invited Baka to come along. After the initial pleasantries, which proved that she was a good employee for the hospitality business she let it out that everyone is busy, (Are me and Baka the only vela people), and she was afraid she cannot get anything arranged for that day. To calm down my angry disappointed looks, and with the fear that she might lose the IIML account, she pointed towards the voucher which had Meet with prior appointment as the first point behind it. She then offered us to meet the beautician and the gym trainer. I asked Baka too make it very clear to her that we are not going to pay a paisa more than the voucher, so whatever she does, and even if she does not offer any services, its not an issues as long as she does not expect me to dole out a single penny. This was out of fear from Chitta’s INDEX incident.

Supposedly, the Mr INDEX last year, was awarded with a similar coupon and he went to VLCC. Like the typical Indian middle class, he did not declare the voucher in the beginning fearing drop in service level, and got himself a complete makeover. He got himself done all possible services on offer. After the whole day of beautification he proudly walked to the reception to produce the voucher, where he was handed a bill of twelve thousand rupees. Aghast! He cried foul, and refused to pay. The people there at VLCC tried explaining that not everything is included in the voucher, and he has to pay the bill. The issue is right now in court with the customer filing a complaint against VLCC, and even blaming INDEX for not informing him of any such issue. How could they? They themselves did not have a clue of the whole thing. Well, I did not want to land in such a situation spending ten grand on my looks, which I am very sure would not change much just by some sessions at this fraud entity. Why fraud? Well, you would say the same after reading the entire plight.

The rest of the incident would be in the next post. In the meantime, don’t venture anywhere near these VLCC types, citing Short term memory loss. This irritating incident should be etched permanently in everyone’s mind even if the head is blowed by heavy iron shots by some Ghajini.

Life at a stand still

PPO from Cadbury. I have not yet announced this to my Collegian readers. Yes people, i have got a Pre Placement Offer from Cadbury India Limited - the place i interned last summers.

My two months in cadbury were very eventful and i enjoyed every bit of it. It made me a frequent flyer with KingFisher, and am also the prowd owner of KingClub Card. I was also made rich by 50K during the course of two months, and had a chance to visit the choicest of the places in India( Vizag - Home!!, Delhi and God's own place - kerala). Also, i had the chance to reside in the best of the hotels and live life to the fullest.

tangible things apart, it was quite an enriching experience. The people there were quite friendly and inspite of the huge age differences, everyone was so amicable and easily approachable. The Power Distance (picked up this word in the Advanced Oral Communications (AOC) class today) as such did not exist at all.

On the whole, my two months in corporate life, my first ones for that, were like the ideal setting for the perfect work experience i wanted. i always believed i worked really hard during those two months, and the PPO just added the cream to all the cherish able moments.

Needless to say, with my weakness for chocolates, I have accepted their offer and have signed out of the campus placement process.

All this happened in November first week, during Summer placements. I was given three days to accept, or reject the offer. These were like the most confusing three days in recent past. Accept?? or Reject?? (And chase my dream of PnG, HUL and likes??). After lots of consulting, talking to family,friends, seniors, teachers and everyone possible i just could not resist the tempting offer.

Cadbury is THE BEST FMCG company and no doubt i always so wanted to join it. My only consideration and the reason for confusion was - What would i do for the rest of my tenure at L? Till then i was busy day in day out preparing for various competitions, participating in all extra curricular events, etc.. Now after the PPO what would be the motivation level?/ Would i still keep myself engrossed with these? Or would i have to search new avenues? Finally i decided - Enough of this mad rush and blind follow the herd mentality. Follow my own dream, nurture my own stature without any kind of Peer pressure. pursue all those activities that i always wanted to do, but could not find the time for..

After seeing the movie Dasvidaniya i made my own MBALIST (Something like Bucket List with a list of things i would like to accomplish before completing my stint here for MBA). i have made a list. And hope i reach each one of them. hope i be able to tick away on successful completion each one of them. Would disclose my MBALIST very soon, after it is completely drafted.

Btw, I hav joined Salsa Classes here at Lucknow to learn shake my hops more better!!

So till i learn shaking my hips to the Cuban tune, have fun watching the new Khan flick Ghajini. Have a look at the poster of Ghazini or Gajodhar..



p.s.: Going to jaipur, Rajasthan, this Saturday to attend my cousins wedding.

VelaGiri

Heard of a lot of RGGIRI when i entered IIML. how rampant it is? How it creates rifts between friends? and the dreaded outfalls of it. BUt never ever thought i would get involved in VelaGiri - Process of doing nothing fruitful and wasting all the time on hand.

Something that i wrote in my diary last night - "Wasted the entire day, without opening the book for a single minute. 12 midnight now, royalstag bottle lying on the bed seductively, and yesterday's hangover still looming large in the head. 'anger Management' movie ready on the lappy and have just completed 'Sorry Bhai'.Ah! Now this is how hectic IIM life is!!"

Especially after this PPO thing i have become quite laid back in life. not interested in anything, be ready to rebel anyone, don't care attitude. Doing everything which i am actually not. Why? joblessness!! they say it right " An empty mind is the devil's workshop", and amm sue the devil is having a gala time in this workshop. Very active indeed.

Have an exam tomorrow, and have still not opened the book. Initially i had thought that i have two days of holidays before the exam and would complete the entire text twice and even practice problems on the software. now i doubt if i would even be able to complete the text half way through. Huh! VelaGiri!!!

Now Assam

Where is India headed??

Still when the Mumbai terror war is fresh in the minds, and the city is still in state of reconciliation, there it is - Bomb Blasts in a train in Assam

From the south west state to the north east, the terror engulfs the whole nation.
This is what the Indian Express has to say about the assam blasts:
Three persons, including a child, were killed and 30 others injured on Tuesday in a bomb blast suspected to have been triggered by a militant outfit in a passenger train in central Assam's Karbi Anglong district.

Police sources said the bomb, kept inside coach number 8209 of 901 Lumding-Tinsukia passenger train, exploded around 8 am as it entered Diphu railway station.

They said they suspected militants belonging to Karbi Longri National Liberation Front (KLNLF), which has given an indefinite call for economic blockade in the Karbi Anglong region in Assam from this morning to press their 10-point demand, to have planted the bomb.

However, no one has claimed responsibility yet.

But coordinated bomb blasts in Assam in October, which killed at least 77 people, were blamed on Islamist militants from neighbouring Bangladesh.

After 9/11, travel by air became unsafe, and trains the next option. stay safely in hotels, but then the Mumbai blasts don't allow you that. And now the trains..

is staying at home the only option?? Not exactly!! Not heard about Earthquakes, or maybe the criminal assualts and robbery and stuff?

So, the end conclusion - YOU ARE NOT SAFE ANYWHERE.
On a lighter note i would say the terrorists need some kind of co-ordination. Harm all places, leaving one, and then by law of human nature, the whole population would shift there. So is pakistan (nothing against the country, just needed an example) safe?? nah! Remember that blasts in the hotel, quite recently.

In all this turmoil, i guess my room no. 1053 in the IIML campus is the safest place, except for the assault by Himesh Reshamiya songs, and old flop hindi movies which my neighbours have to put up with.

Depressing

One ore of my depressing posts. Read further at your own risk.

It keeps me wondering sometimes. Why do people get depressed?? why is there so much unhappiness around?? is there someone who is completely satisfied with life??

Then i realise. With so much expectations around why would someone not be depressed?. How can one escape the vagaries of this funny thing called LIFE.

Just don't understand why some people behave the way they do. Why do they say things that are not really welcome. Why?? Why??

For short term happiness they go about screwing their life, and the worse part - they are not alone. They take people close to them, people who care for them, people who wish them luck, along with them in this "ADVENTURE" of theirs. All for that small period happiness which they believe would last forever. Why don't they realize this? This is not a fairyland. Why don't they come to terms with reality.

And actually, when they do realize the reality it is too late. they are too far to come back, and even if a few lucky do come back, they are not unscratched.

Depressing. Quite depressing. What option are we left with?? Slow songs on the lappy, in full volume, with fellow wingies whining to reduce.

No Respite!!!