Demi God Stars of South india

As such it is, there are a pretty many crazy things that happen in india, and there are a lot many takers for entertainment ( read movies). There is something very peculiar with the south indians, and the god level status accorded to the movie stars here.

The kind of feeling and respect that the south indians have on their stars is mind boggling, and the space movie stars occupy in the minds of people in the south is something truly out of this world.

Chiranjeevi  is a God like figure in Andhra. So much that people die in the quest to get tickets for his movies. People have been so mesmerized by the actor, that the patronage now extends to his brother, nephew, son( all actors), and father in law( producer). I doubt, if the fan following will not be extended even to his dog, who might feature as the main cast in a forthcoming movie.

The Late Rajkumar or the late Vishnu Vardhan in Karnataka enjoy a similar status. I was in bangalore last december when Vishnu vardhan expired due to completely natural circumstances. In spite of the complete natural form of death, Bangalore, and the whole of karnataka was brought to stand still for a day to mourn for the actor. We need not dwell about the time when rajkumar was kidnapped by Veerappan.

Coming now to tamil nadu, and there is only one God here - RajiniKanth. His legend is long lived, and his fan following extends far east even to the funny looking japanese. He is creating waves presently in entire tamil land, with the release of his new movie - Endhiran ( Robot in Hindi). We have been hearing abou crazy stuff people dole out for their stars, and how a song is released before the whole cassette is released to capitalize on the craze.

Rajini has gone a step further. He has released the trailer of the movie in the theatres before the movie releasing.

WTF!!

Shall we dance?

Dance is such a relieving way to let go of all the tensions in mind. I am no good dancer, but yes, to thomping music, i can't help but thump my feet - Dance.


Dance your blues away. Dancing is known to be one of the cheapest and most effective means to driving stress. This is one reason you would find most dancers, with a glowing face, seemingly happy. 


From when i can remember, I get immense pleasure in dancing and as i have already said, i don't know dancing. well, don't know how to dance in the traditional dance way, like in a group. I dance for my self. I have no formal training and I am extremely shy, when it comes to dancing alone in front of people, well of course unless i am dead drunk.


infact, i once even tried learning dancing in the traditional format - Salsa, and enrolled myself for the salsa classes during MBA. Well, not to say, it was a complete disaster, and i just attended 2 classes learning how to shake my hips the right way.( There was no PROPER company, Chitta i'm sure you would agree)

While dancing, it feels as if some abstract thing is slowly taking away any charge, positive as well as negative, on my mind and leaves behind neutrality. ( Ah! lotsa gyaan!). There should be something called the art of dancing on the lines of the art of living, as a basic venting mechanism to let go of all the frustration.


The following picture has nothing to do with dance, but well.. for those who get it.

Dancing Tits

Graduate'd

Tomorrow, 2nd july marks the completion of my one year. This one year has been a rollicking time, travelling across the country, meeting numerous people, doing things I never ever thought of, and as they say, getting into the corporate groove.

Last week I was in Mumbai, for my graduation party (yes! After post graduating!). The new batch was there with the same dreamy scared curious eyes, the older batch (ME!!) trying to show off Who is the boss? N everyone else more or less the same. This got me thinking. One year has passed, how fast time passes away. It has been 12 months that I have been receiving this pay cheque in my bank account – month on month. That is a good long time for introspection.

It has been on roller coaster ride right from the day go. Right from the outbound training in garudamaachi to the present ASM stint handling north karnataka has been one helluva ride.



The travel across the country along with fellow management trainees, each one stud in their own league. Going around, right from the southernmost Kerala to see the cocoa plantations to the Himachal to see the factory and CSR. Getting to know my batchmates even more better in the process and making friends for life. Who had thought that these would be the people I would talking to and cribbing to on a daily basis?

The first stint in Delhi metro. Whoa! I was the cynosure of all eyes. People generally get random far off obscure places in their initial years and here I was in DELHI metro – the capital of the country for my first sales stint. Those four months in delhi just went on like a whiff. Staying with Abhinav, thivahar, preteesh and Sashi in the south delhi house, trying to adjust to live out of campus and fit in into the corporate life. (yeah! Puneet I am not forgetting you!) Those wonderful all night chats and weekends with that someone special! It all seems like a beautiful dream now.

Then in November just as the winters started kicking in delhi, I was parceled of to Chennai. Yes, my next stint was scheduled in Bangalore( once more Metro! I must really be lucky!). Bangalore metro with its young crowd and happening life was simply amazing. Friends here, and hanging out and doing crazy stuff which I had never ever thought off( Remember Ahen, the bus ride to the airport!) and the wonderful climate here just mesmerizes ones senses.

Now after one month in Bangalore, any one would fall in love with it and this thought that I was just training here was sure killing me. I will soon have to leave this place to take over some territory. Which territory would it be? Where would I based out of for the next two years? How would my career shape up? All these thoughts just took over my entire mind, until that one fine night in Chennai.

“Congratulations. Welcome to the South branch. You would now be handling North karnataka”, I still remember those words. My joy knew no bounds. I am not too sure if it was more for the posting being announced? Or was it that I would be based out of Bangalore? Or was it the challenging territory I was given? well, a mix of all i would say!

It is all still very fresh in my mind, that chat I had with Ahen that night from the hotel room in Chennai. The yellow smiley ball really proved to be lucky huh!

From then on, it has been no looking back. It has been six months that I have been posted, and now “graduated”, it has been, to say the least, a fun ride. Hoping for more!

And yes, it felt good to be graduating once again!!!

Sach ka saamna - tagged!

Getting tagged is something that was very much in vogue when I started blogging (2005 puff! Its been a long time!!!). Now here, I am again tagged by my good friend Varun Reddy, and I thought it has really been long that I have done something like this, so why not give it a try!

Before starting, I would like to take the oath on the sacred Geeta (seen it many hindi movies) – “Mein jo kahunga sach kahunga.. aur sach ke sivay aur kuch nahi kahunga!”

Tagged By: Varun Reddy (U got me here dude!)
The ground rules
RULE 1- You can only say Guilty (means YES) or Innocent (means NO)
RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes, delete mine and type in your answers and tag your friends to answer this.

I have always been an iconoclast, without much adherence to rules n crap, so RULE 2 I am sorry. I will have to explain at some places to make it more readable.

Also, RULE 3, I am sorry, as I don’t think I should compulsorily tag a few names and then get accused of missing out on others. I don’t even want to be in that phase where I keep sulking, that someone I have tagged has not cared to answer.

So, I rather make this appeal, that everyone reading this should answer these questions, and get some bhoj out of them!

Let me begin…

Asked someone to marry you? Guilty (well, wish you a very happy married life. )

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty ( well, not the kiss kiss kinds, it was just a normal game of truth or dare!!)

Danced on a table in a bar? Guilty (not exactly in a bar, but on a table in public yes, and yes I was drunk!)

Ever told a lie? Guilty (may times)

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty (Long story, will take a complete post!)

Kissed a picture? Innocent (why??)

Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty (Many a times!)

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty (Well, I am from a B-School!)

Held a snake? Guilty (Snake park in Chennai!)

Been suspended from school? Guilty (well!)

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent. ( I so regret this, I want to have this kinda experience!)

Stolen from a store? Guilty (remember stealing a bar of 5-star when I was 12 years old something. The irony – I now work for a chocolate company!)

Been fired from a job? Innocent. (I am still on my first job!)

Done something you regret? Innocent (No regrets, this is the life mantra. The bad phases due to some avoidable doing is just a learning. No regrets!)

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Innocent (now why would that happen)

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent (Snowflake??, I think a more relevant to India question would be “caught a fly on your tongue?”. The answer for this could be “Guilty”. It was unintentional though)

Kissed in the rain? Innocent (In the rain! One more thing that I desperately want to do)

Sat on a roof top? Guilty (Everyday!)

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent. (what do you mean by shouldn’t. I am not killing anyone!)

Sang in the shower? Guilty (Everyday again! I dare not do that in the open, so the shower is the safest place to vent out my throat muscles to stretch )

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Guilty (many a times. Thank you bro.. this is the way he has thought me swimming)

Shaved your head? Guilty. (heard of tirupati balaji!)

Had a boxing membership? Innocent. (again I wish I did, atleast the card would have scared many people!)

Made a girlfriend cry? Guilty or innocent (No comments!)

Been in a band? Innocent. ( I wish I did, even tried playing the guitar. Thanks you Puneet. Realized soon enough that it was not meant for me! Thank you bro, for making me realize this!)

Shot a gun? Guilty (yes, the ones we used to get during diwali!)

Donated Blood? Innocent (scared!)

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent. (I wish I get to eat it someday!)

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty (why not?)

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent (again what do you mean by you shouldn’t?)

Have/had a tattoo? Guilty (yeah, Bubbaloo has tattoo promo running right now and it is cool. Marketing it through every channel)

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty (now those silent crushes I am sure everyone has.

Been too honest? Guilty (dangerously so)

Ruined a surprise? Guilty (Sorry bro, I did tell mom that I was sending the gifts!, So ruined the surprise that my bro wanted to give my parents)

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards? Guilty (I know, it does not show in my flabber)

Erased someone in your friends list? Innocent (what difference would it make?)

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Innocent. (fetish, will sure try it out someday!)

Joined a pageant? Innocent. (Nah!)

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty (many a times, and I would totally want to believe that they completely meant what they said

Had communication with your ex? Guilty (han, we still talk regularly)

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Guilty (this is something I consider brings in good luck. Was totally drunk before CAT, JMET and even the investment management exam in L. it has worked. Whisky it has to be)

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Innocent. (why cry when angry?)

Huh! Now I understand what do people go through when they are sitting on the wrong side of the table during “sach ka saamna” kind of shows. The sense of humuor needs to be at its best while answering any of the questions.

So, that was it guys. I now request you to take it forward and let it out!

Life of TARGET

Its now been about three months selling chocolates, and it has just been getting better with every passing day. I have started enjoying sales, what with your daily report card right in front of your eyes every evening.

Chasing numbers of different kinds – Value, volume, coverage, efficiency, productivity and then scheme related targets. These were the lower limit numbers – something that you have to reach. More famously known as TARGETS.

There is another type of number called SLAB, defining the upper limit you can reach. A scheme is always budgeted and under no circumstances is one supposed to exceed them.

After the long mad chase for these numbers called TARGET, I am left wondering what exactly would be the biography of this thing called “Target”.

My humble attempt in profiling this divine phenomena – TARGET. Lets listen to it from the devil’s mouth itself.

My Name is TARGET
Imaginary, Multiple, Worldwide

About Me

Birthday– 1st April/ Every month at some places/ Every week at some other places. As we go lower down the hierarchy I could also be born every single morning.

Location

Arbitrary documents, Excel Sheets, Bosses / Employee’s Brains
Relationship Status- Impossible.

Here for

Sadistic Pleasures, or the kick! The way you take me.

First thing you will notice

I am too far, ever!

Introduction

Hello everyone my name is TARGET.
I exist in various forms across the globe. The biggest bosses in companies and corporate create me to continue their reign. I am thrust upon their subordinates who in turn do the same. I am the source of power for superiors at every level.

I get split into parts when I am thrust down the food chain.

Biggest Boss (1) --> Bigger Boss (3, 4)--> Big Boss (a few)....-->Employee (too many)
(Employee is the last node with no subordinate)

If someone gets too close to me, I am given a boost by the immediate superior.

HaHaHa (sarcastic smile) and I get away again. Yeah sometimes, like it happened to Bharat Jhurani last time, getting too close to me before my expiry could also mean danger. Bharat got too close to me on the 25th itself, and thought he has done a great deal. His boss praises him, showers him with all accolades, and then stretches me, to make me elusive again. The next month onwards, Bharat Jhurani always gets a big version of me!

Family

There are some close relatives of mine who never show up if I am not present.

Namely promotion and raise are my loved cousins. We are so close that they do not go anywhere without me. But they are considered socially awkward by the evil “humor recourse” people. So these people try to keep me away so that my cousins automatically don’t show up.

About Me Again

I enjoy a lot during my life. I see people slog to get me…oh I am so desirable :)
But my lifespan is too short; whether someone gets me or not I will die soon.
And I even know when I will die.

My Favorite tagline

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

Personal Advice

Do try to get me but don’t waste your life for me, coz I have multiple lives.
I will be born again with renewed strength and you will be the same, even more exhausted.

But what the heck I enjoy my life you too do :)

This is me – TARGET, and all the best catching up with me!

management funda in reaching the station

I am sitting here at the busy railway station and writing this article, waiting.

After sleeping at 3AM, on a Saturday night what time do you expect one to wake up on a sunday morning? Not before noon atleast, no matter what. The just gone Saturday was no different. We started drinking right from 10PM, and went on and on. After finishing off all the stock in the huge 165 litre refrigerator at about 2AM, Kapil gets this idea to go out for an ice cream. Not that we wanted to eat an ice cream, but just for the heck of it. We agreed.

So, after an ice cream and then a conference call in the balcony, we managed to sleep at 3AM. I set an alarm on my N72 for 6AM. What? 3 hours. You want to wake up at 6AM on a Sunday morning? Have you gone crazy?
Nah! I have a train to catch.

I am going to Chandigarh for a week for my upcountry stint.
Next day morning, at 6AM sharp the alarm started ringing on my cellphone. I have on purpose set a very irritating tone, so that it drives me crazy and I get compelled to wake up. I have been using this technique, and this very tone, right since my MBA days. I also always keep the mobile a little far from the bed, such that I would have to get up from the bed to switch it off.

But damn the snooze option on the mobile, I picked up the phone from the dressing table, put it on snooze and went back to sleep! I kept doing this for the next half an hour, or probably a little more.

At about 6:40, I happened to glance at the clock on the mobile screen and I was like,” what the fuck?.. I am Late!”. The train is scheduled to depart at 7:40, and the station is a good 45minutes journey by an auto. I am doomed.

I completed the morning ablutions in a whisker, changed and after bidding a good bye (I just shouted to the sleeping mates informing them that I am leaving), I left home. As usual, Malviya nagar is the only area in Delhi probably, where the auto guys feel more comfortable travelling without any passenger on their back seat.

After some negotiations (against my favour), and convincing (more of begging!), one auto guy agreed to come over for 90 bucks. The normal journey is charged at about 70 something. I did not really have the time to negotiate. This is at 7:10, and the train departs in another half an hour, there is no way that I could reach the station.

I kept pressurizing him to drive fast, and I urging him again and again. I had an unlit cigarette in my hand, which was not getting lighted due to the high speed of the auto, and the flowing wind, but I was more concerned about the speed of the auto. i just kept holding it.

I was so wishing that there be some system (or its failure), like in the movie SPEED, where the bus should not be below a particular limit of speed else it would blow up.

After about 10 minutes I ask him, “bhaiyya, aur kitna time lagega?”

He replies, “yahan se.. kam se kam 20 minute to lagenge”

That makes it 7:35. That would imply that I will have to miss the train. No! this can’t happen, and I realize I have to convince him hard. This talk happens at a red crossing, and I light the cigarette taking advantage of the lack of motion in the auto.No, I want the damn thing to be in motion, in full throttle.

I again tell him in a desperate manner, “bhaiyya jaldi please, fast. Meri train 7:30 ko hai”

(Management funda: keep some buffer for yourself)

Even in sales or any field for that matter, every level of the hierarchy has some extra buffer target for himself, and sets a slightly higher target when apportioning his target to the sub-ordinates.

He replies, “Arrey, aap to late ho jaenge sir. Thodi jaldi nikalna tha na!”

This is how a saleman would reply while taking note of his targets. He would try his best not to accept the target, and keep cribbing that it is too high. Acceptance of defeat even before the war has started.
Now he is started zooming the vehicle but I am not convinced.

Yeah, as if I don’t know that i should have started early. Now I have got late, and lets do something about it. I try using the next funda of management.

(Management funda: Incentivize!)

I try making him believe, without making it explicit that he would get more money if I reach in time for the train.

It seems to be working, he has set the vehicle in full throttle, but probably he could do more. Now getting to the next principle,

(management Funda: Motivate and make him accountable.)

I try sweet talking to him, without disturbing his concentration on the road. I tell him inspiring things like, “Bhaiyya, ab aapke saath hun to aapko time par pahunchana hi padega. yeh aapka farz banta hai”.

I try to make him realize that it is like a question of his competency. These are the moments when his true skills are under test, and I also try to make him proud of his years of experience (18 years in this case). Ultimately, he is made to believe that his passengers should reach in time wherever they want to, and this becomes his most important KPI (key performance indicator). This is the pride of work that he lives for everyday, drives an auto all day.

Now the final nail, the traffic signals. He is still forced to stop at the signals, though it serves no purpose. It just delays my journey to the station.

(Management funda: authorize!)

I request him to jump traffic signals, and assure that I would pay the fine if any. I convince him that there are no cops around, and even try to keep in good humour by joking that all the policemen would be busy sleeping on their beds, afterall it is a Sunday morning.

He zooms, and I am at the station at 7:35 sharp! Huh! 5 more minutes left. Thanxs for the buffer time . It is so really important. We should probably have a complete elective on this in B-Schools.

I run towards the platform, asking passersby which platform is the shatabdi on.

It is on platform 2, or rather it was. I run towards the platform. I am on the foot over bridge and I can see the train moving! I run at the top of my speed, with two bags hanging on my shoulders, and screech down the stairs. still puffing!
.
.
.
.
..3 and a half hours later..
.
.
.
it is 11:15AM and I am still at the station waiting.

.
.
.
.
Well, at the Chandigarh station!, waiting for Rajeev to pick me up. Yes, I did catch the train!

Now all ready for one complete week in upcountry parwanoo away from the hustle-bustle of city life.

Awesome Monday

Its been more than a month here at Delhi, and after those initial hiccups I am now completely enjoying the stint. The days are filled with learning the nitty gritties of the processes and systems in selling chocolates. And the weekends are filled with loadsa fun and frolic. The campus setting is all recreated, what with the same bunch of people staying up together – every night is a potential party night.

Especially the past two weekends have been really awesome, and am sure its going to stay memorable for a long time to come. This post is about the awesome Monday that I had last week.

Early in the morning I was woken up at 4AM (my gawd! Who wakes up at that time? Not even the birds!), and after getting ready into my formal attire we start off to the New Delhi railway station at about 5. The train was to departure at 6:15AM, and we reach the station well in time. After the train departs, I wonder what to do?

Go back to malviya nagar, and start for gurgaon later? No point in this, as I would have to start as soon as I reach home. So a better option would be to get going to guragon (my office for the day, as discussed), though it is quite early to office. I take a bus to Dhaula Kuan, and then take another crowded bus from there to IFFCO chowk in gurgaon. I manage to reach gurgaon at 8 itself, while the office starts at 9:30 something.

After hanging around, and having breakfast at a roadside eatery, and tea and smoke, at about 8:45 i enter the office to find all staring in a strange manner. It was just the maintenance staff doing the cleaning, and by their looks it was apparent they did not recognize me. When I start settling down in my boss’s cubicle a guy comes running towards me.

“sir, kaun ho aap?” (who are you?)

Okay, now that was pretty straight forward.

I reply calmly, with a smile on my face, “mein yahin par kaam karta hun” ( I work here)

Another guy comes in, and remembers serving me countless cups of tea, and thus confirms my appointment.

After lazing around there for some time, and a visit to the bathroom I try settling down in the cubicle. Right then, I get a call from boss, who asks me to come down to rohini instead.

Great! I check on googlemaps on my mobile, and it shows rohini being 40km away form where I am right now. It would take atleast 2hrs to reach there and that too after blowing up a considerable amount of money on travel, and a sojourn in the crowded public transport.

Can I do something about it? No! So, well a sleep starved myself gets on into a rickshaw to get to IFFCO chowk. Now another irony here is, I don’t know the best way to reach rohini. I was initially thinking of reaching Dwarka, take a metro back to central delhi and change for the metro to rohini. Nice option it seemed.

Luckily the shared cab I got into was going to azadpur, and my googlemaps (to which I remained hooked during the travel), showed that it is on my way to rohini. On confirmation with the driver and paying an additional 10 rupee, I could still sit in the cab. I get down at wajirpur (thank you googlemaps), and then catch an auto from there to the distributor point where I was supposed to reach.

At the distributor point I am in for a shock – it is locked. Oh! How could I forget, this market remains closed on Mondays!

I call up my boss again, who then asks me to come down to prashanth Vihar instead. Awesome! The map showed that to be comparatively close. I walk out from the market to the main road, and try loking for empty autos to ply me there. I could just find a rickshaw, who argues of coming only till madhubhan chowk. I was helpless, and I had to take it.

At madhuban chowk, after crossing the huge traffic signal lights there, and the metro above, I get to the other side of the road. I am again looking for an auto or a rockshaw to ply me till my final destination (hopefully). After a wait, and walk, of about 15mins in that hot sun I finally get a rickshaw. And after asking a zillion people, and travelling randomly I finally locate one of the sales officers, and get assured. Yes, I have finally reached the required destination.

I get a call from my friend, who announces her arrival to lucknow. Wah! I am just crisscrossing aross NCR, and within this time people have reached lucknow. The time it takes for me to office, is as good as the time taken to reach lucknow. Well, such is life!

The destination I reached was a food court called rameshwarams. Yes, we generally have our meetings at such places, and that day was the time for mid year review. I just sit on my laptop trying to interact with the sales officers, and trying to complete the work assigned.

After about 4 hrs there in the food court, discussing random stuff ranging from stock markets to the trip to manali, and also working in between, I get to talk to my boss at about 4.Well, the lesser I talk about the meeting the better it is.

At about 5, after being dropped to the metro station I set out home. I reach home at about 6:30 and find my cell phone battery down. Damn! Last one minute probably and I try caling up TB (my room-mate), but before he could answer, the battery is dead. It so felt like that scene in hindi movies, where a person is dying in the lap and is uttering something very important earnestly, but before he could say the actual thing he is dead falling on the lap of the holder, mostly with the eyes open.

Now no keys for home, TB had said he would be going to the snooker parlour. And I don’t know where it is. I have a pair of keys that Abhinav ( another of my room-mate) had given me a week back or so. I go home with a heavy laptop bag on my shoulders and hoping that the key would do the job. Nah! How could life be so simple?

After trying hard, and even going to the terrace and having a smoke hoping that TB would be back by then I give up.

I had to use some salesman jugaad (more about it in detail in the ensuing posts) to get through this. I could not be waiting for ever for TB. I walk down to Sharmaji (the tea stall owner), and hav a tea. I was looking for a dispenser hung somewhere with mobile chargers. They are such a common site in malls. But well, why would any pug following company set one up here in this housing locality.

Then an awesome idea strikes me.

“Sharmaji, aapke paas mobile ka charger hai kya?”, I shout to the tea stall owner.

He gets all eager to help and asks his wife to check. The disappointment on his face when his wife finds one was apparent. He obviously did not want me to mess up with his things, lest I spoil them. He anyways gives the charger to me.

Alas! Why did nokia have to change their charger specifications? This one was of a thick pin, while my mobile jock accepts the thin one.

Now if you are still wondering why could I just not call up TB? Well, blame the mobile phones In the good olden days we would all have a small pocket diary having all the important numbers, but no more. The contacts were all in that dead phone. It seriously set me thinking, what if my mobile dies a permanent death someday. I would really land up in tough times.

I again get this rockstar idea, trying to convince myself – “come on dude.. you are a salesman.. use salesman jugaad”

I ask,or did it sound more like a demand “sharmaji, ek baar apna phone dena”.

Sharmaji, who by now was relieved that I had left his charger did not know that I had more serious plans. He replies,

“sorry sir, isme balance nahi hai.”

Okay, I am not interested in using up your balance.

“nahi mere paas bhi number nahi hai.. mujhe to kuch aur chaiye”, i chuckle.

Very reluctantly he hands me over the phone, and just stands beside me. This phone really means a lot to him probably. I am sure, even a stock broker would not take his own phone so seriously.

I start removing the battery, and sharmaji screams as soon as I open the compartment of his phone.

“yeh kya kar rahe ho.. kharab ho jaega!”, he is visibly worried.

“kuch nahi hoga. Aapka phone sahi salamt aapko wapas kar dunga”, I try explaining him calmly.

Yes. The salesman jugaad has worked yet again. I call up TB from my mobile having sharmaji’s battery, and TB gets back home in 5 minutes. I can now go home in peace to open doors.

After such a frustrating day, a person sure needs some vent out. I change into shorts and go out with puneet to CCD. After a relaxing black coffee, without sugar (no! not inspired from love aaj kal, I am addicted to this right since my 4 seasons days in vizag), it feels completely calm.

I am ready for the next day, ofcourse after a good night’s sleep. It seems like days since I have slept.

Thus ended an eventful Monday, after a very good weekend. Now you know where the term Monday morning blues came from

Mallu agzent

HI All, long time. Well, have joined office and have been travelling to places the last few weeks. Presently have been posted in Delhi for my sales officer stint for three months. (in detail this weekend!!)

Landed in Mumbai first, and then set out to some hill resort near Pune. Was back to Mumbai for a couple of days, and then packed off to Cochin for two days. Back to Mumbai, just to catch the next morning flight to Chandigarh. After an amazing week in Chandigarh and its adjoining places, am here back in Mumbai.

The last couple of weeks were filled with immense learnings, and loadsa fun. As they say it here, am presently in the honeymoon period of my job. Here I got to interact to a lot of people, industry veterans, Big time marketers and my colleagues – the purple stars.

Access to internet has been minimal due to frequent travelling, and so am starved of any time to blog. Any odd access to a computer with internet connectivity is just spent on accessing mails. So here, I am posting a long time back received mail on mallu accent. The recent trip to cochin re affirmed this mail, and the agzent.

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attackKuwait?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
" Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders , We Are Yevery Where "

17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football teams ?
Coz Whenever they get a corner , they set up a tea shop.

I am sure you had fun reading this, it is an even better experience reading it along with munching on Benana Chibs.

Now I hope no mallu comes over with a bottle of kokanet oil to slam over!! No offence indended guys!!