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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Introducing MoBulAri

Cha.. Shit of a life..

Well, a disclaimer. This post is primarily meant for guys, as girls may not receive it quite well. Well, Girls, inspite of saying this if you read it and scold, abuse, threaten,etc… I m not responsible!!!

And people, well again only boys, especially in the software industry.. Do read it!!

Story of a close friend of mine – MoBulAri!!!

All the time in college, MoBulAri like all of us just used to yearn for one thing – WHEN WILL I BE THROUGH STUDIES? When will I be done with all possible exams??.. when will I have my own money for Beer!!

All said and done. Moved around so many places. Attended so many of those idiotic gds and interviews, Technical tests, Tech interview, HR interview.. was shown the door in mass recruiting companies like TCS and WIPRO.. and then finally landed up a job USWORK INDIANBRAIN Software limited!!

FIRST ONE MONTH - no work.only enjoy - all happies second month - work + enjoy – ok third month - only work. no enjoy - problem starts

My poor innocent friend Just starts getting to know the office politics, by being a victim. Its always the close by team that is gifted. The manager is good, one who does not give any pain! The girls are inevitably good in the close by team. The hikes are good out there, and to top it there is no work at all (with all happily preparing for CAT) in the close by team. But for MoBulAri.. It is a crocodile festival every day.

The work he does.. the work he does not.. Everything is entitled to be screwed by the upper heads. One client gives all unrealistic requirements, knowing very well that they would not work the way he wants it to, he still persists for the same thing. Support in the middle of the night, when our dear friend is well into something else – sleep! The on site work would attract all kind of abuses never ever heard of even in the worst of the galis of chavula mandam! The only reason he still sticks to the job is the FREE internet connection at office and the fact that the coffee vending machine in the office is still working.

Weekly once or twice he just calls up all friends and arranges a drink party – his only mode of entertainment( now you now why Infy Mysore campus requires that huge bar?) The entire party time is spent hurling the topmost, or as they say - state of the art, abuses to the TL, PM, etc.. life just carries on for 6 months. By now, eyes have all formed dark circles around them, the forehead has wrinkles over them, The neck pains bad (bad ergonomics I say), all kind of never heard before diseases start making his body their home! Poor MoBulAri.. seems so old than he really is!

He is starved to see his own brother, sister, father, mother, relatives. It is just like saying them a hi at the station.. He reaches Vizag and starts packing off for the return journey. Only his door ka rishtedar who incidentally is in the software field understands his plight. For everybody he is the black sheep of the house. One who has just started earning and is showing attitude, and not even sending any money home!! Wish they actually knew that what he gets is peanuts!! So, all the phone calls directed towards, or received from home are filled with abuses and makes him believe that he lacks any concern for anyone.

On the salary front, yeah the cash registers in the bank do ring in his name at the beginning of every month, but then BONDS, Mutual Funds, credit card bills, ab to sodexho paas bhi.. all take them away, just leaving enough for his basic survival, very basic han!. Well, yea the remaining peanuts – the intelligent ones deposit in a home loan or something, but good for nothing like us just blow it away in Alcohol, Ciggies and roaming around the country side!! Oh! There he again forgot my dues!!

Life was all chill till now, now starts the real problems. One fine day one ex – colleague/ colleague comes down with a sweet packet in one hand, and a card in the other inviting us to his wedding. Now our friend gets this idiotic idea – “How good it would be if even I had a girl!!“ Well, talking about the software field – the good looking ones are all booked, married or are north Indians( remember MoBulAri is a southie..) so 95 of the 100 girls get filtered. Another 4 girls would be better called “sister” rather than even a friend, forget – “JUST A FRIEND”. So now we are left with this last one girl (remember the movie MatruBhumi)

Now for this one last girl( Murthy said infy has 27% of its workforce females?? Where are they??) The whole team is behind like dogs!! That one girl is very intelligent and moves around with everyone, but gets committed to no one (Well, me not a MCP please..). One more fine day, MoBulAri gets one more card – that one girl has called it a day! She is getting married. What else. One more night.. one more mehfil.. and the next day, start off the search for One more girl( here the standards just keep falling with every such card)

Now time for reviews and appraisals– “ You are excellent!” “ The company would be void without you!”.. “etc.. etc.. blah!! Blah!!”.. but the salary raise – Add one more peanut to the bowl. MoBulAri charges up.. The body cannot take anymore. Resume gets updated. The thought process is again churning ideas, but this carries on for long.. and even after 6 months of the added peanut – MoBulAri is still at the same place! Life just moves on..

Wait!.. Did anyone say it??
Life is a shit!!

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:52 PM

    hey bj!!! u hav strang eways f takin out ur frutrations huh.... gud writin skills ya...

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  2. funny.. though hauntingly so :O

    all the best to mobulari... advise him away from helL though :P

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  3. Good story there...He should be looking out for some girls in Mysore city too. :-)

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  4. hmm bharat
    i dont know why the caveat for the girls...it didnt look like anything shocking to me atleast

    quite true most of the stuff u write about and only software engineers can actually GET it!

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  5. You must ask all the 3rd years wanting to get a "campus job" to read this and don't forget Gollapudi

    ReplyDelete