Saturday, January 03, 2009

VLCC - Don't venture anywhere close!!!

I was never a metro sexual kinda person, to be thronging such places for external beauty. My visit to the barber was all that I actually did for the looks and even that just I look presentable. People staying with me would vouch on the fact that it is easier to live with the Taliban terrorists, rather than an unshaven, not bathed from 6 days, and not brushed Bharat Jhurani.

But of late, I have been getting these internal vibes to take care and look good. No, I am still single! This is what explains my daily tryst with the brush and Close up Calcium with added ingredients, new found garnier Fructis for the hair, Dove for the face, cinthol for the body and calmness for the mind. It also explains the reason I am bathing everyday in spite of the temperature not exactly being conducive for such an action.

Thus, a couple of days ago, when Chitta announced that he has a VLCC voucher worth 5000 bucks, i immediately laid my hands on it. But Abhinav, being that huge and rusty guy he is, had the better of Chitta and overpowered him to take the voucher. Now I had this seemingly tough task of convincing Abhinav to part with the voucher.

I went to Abhinav’s room, and praised him Explained to him that he looks great, and such VLCC likes are for lesser mortals, ugly looking ducks like me (Generally it would require lots of chocolates for me to actually say this). Nah! Abhinav did not agree. Come on even he is an IIM MBA. One more trick in Strategic Business Negotiation – The Amitabh trick. Remember an old Indian Amitabh flick where he buys an house for double the price, and tells the builder that even if he had charged 4 times the actual price, Amitabh would still have paid it, as his mother worked on the construction. Thus, the value of the product perceived by different people is different.

I offered Abhinav a full pack of Classic regular, and he immediately agreed. 5000 bucks voucher for just 88 bucks. Cool deal that was. But well, as I said, perception of value. And moreover, Abhinav earned that pack just for overpowering Chitta. He did not have anything to lose.

Anyways, so on 25th December, me and Baka set out for VLCC. First a Mutton biryani at Spice, recharge for the reliance data card, and then off to Sahara ganj to VLCC.
With lots of scepticism, and initial doubts, we entered the premise. Wait! Sujith was already sitting there, and on further probing we found that he had come here for some scalp thing. Anyways, I head to the reception and show here this voucher, and ask her for assistance. She asks me to wait.

After an irritating wait, my eyes found a board asking to request for a service menu. Wah! Now beauty has been turned into a restaurant business. Many therapies on the platter please fulfil your satisfaction. Anyways, I am not able to make much sense out of it, and just ask for a pedicure and Manicure. “ No, Sir. That is not available with the voucher”. The receptionist says. “Where is it written?”, I ask to myself in a flabbergasted look. The receptionist there understands my confusion and helplessness and offers me to meet the head receptionist (or was she the owner?) there after some time. So wait once again.

After another 25 minutes, and a couple of enquiries about this busy head I am about to meet, I am introduced to Mrs yogita (I am sure she was married by her age, marred with a lot of make up to cover it up), who led me to her cabin. She also invited Baka to come along. After the initial pleasantries, which proved that she was a good employee for the hospitality business she let it out that everyone is busy, (Are me and Baka the only vela people), and she was afraid she cannot get anything arranged for that day. To calm down my angry disappointed looks, and with the fear that she might lose the IIML account, she pointed towards the voucher which had Meet with prior appointment as the first point behind it. She then offered us to meet the beautician and the gym trainer. I asked Baka too make it very clear to her that we are not going to pay a paisa more than the voucher, so whatever she does, and even if she does not offer any services, its not an issues as long as she does not expect me to dole out a single penny. This was out of fear from Chitta’s INDEX incident.

Supposedly, the Mr INDEX last year, was awarded with a similar coupon and he went to VLCC. Like the typical Indian middle class, he did not declare the voucher in the beginning fearing drop in service level, and got himself a complete makeover. He got himself done all possible services on offer. After the whole day of beautification he proudly walked to the reception to produce the voucher, where he was handed a bill of twelve thousand rupees. Aghast! He cried foul, and refused to pay. The people there at VLCC tried explaining that not everything is included in the voucher, and he has to pay the bill. The issue is right now in court with the customer filing a complaint against VLCC, and even blaming INDEX for not informing him of any such issue. How could they? They themselves did not have a clue of the whole thing. Well, I did not want to land in such a situation spending ten grand on my looks, which I am very sure would not change much just by some sessions at this fraud entity. Why fraud? Well, you would say the same after reading the entire plight.

The rest of the incident would be in the next post. In the meantime, don’t venture anywhere near these VLCC types, citing Short term memory loss. This irritating incident should be etched permanently in everyone’s mind even if the head is blowed by heavy iron shots by some Ghajini.

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