Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Life of TARGET

Its now been about three months selling chocolates, and it has just been getting better with every passing day. I have started enjoying sales, what with your daily report card right in front of your eyes every evening.

Chasing numbers of different kinds – Value, volume, coverage, efficiency, productivity and then scheme related targets. These were the lower limit numbers – something that you have to reach. More famously known as TARGETS.

There is another type of number called SLAB, defining the upper limit you can reach. A scheme is always budgeted and under no circumstances is one supposed to exceed them.

After the long mad chase for these numbers called TARGET, I am left wondering what exactly would be the biography of this thing called “Target”.

My humble attempt in profiling this divine phenomena – TARGET. Lets listen to it from the devil’s mouth itself.

My Name is TARGET
Imaginary, Multiple, Worldwide

About Me

Birthday– 1st April/ Every month at some places/ Every week at some other places. As we go lower down the hierarchy I could also be born every single morning.


Arbitrary documents, Excel Sheets, Bosses / Employee’s Brains
Relationship Status- Impossible.

Here for

Sadistic Pleasures, or the kick! The way you take me.

First thing you will notice

I am too far, ever!


Hello everyone my name is TARGET.
I exist in various forms across the globe. The biggest bosses in companies and corporate create me to continue their reign. I am thrust upon their subordinates who in turn do the same. I am the source of power for superiors at every level.

I get split into parts when I am thrust down the food chain.

Biggest Boss (1) --> Bigger Boss (3, 4)--> Big Boss (a few)....-->Employee (too many)
(Employee is the last node with no subordinate)

If someone gets too close to me, I am given a boost by the immediate superior.

HaHaHa (sarcastic smile) and I get away again. Yeah sometimes, like it happened to Bharat Jhurani last time, getting too close to me before my expiry could also mean danger. Bharat got too close to me on the 25th itself, and thought he has done a great deal. His boss praises him, showers him with all accolades, and then stretches me, to make me elusive again. The next month onwards, Bharat Jhurani always gets a big version of me!


There are some close relatives of mine who never show up if I am not present.

Namely promotion and raise are my loved cousins. We are so close that they do not go anywhere without me. But they are considered socially awkward by the evil “humor recourse” people. So these people try to keep me away so that my cousins automatically don’t show up.

About Me Again

I enjoy a lot during my life. I see people slog to get me…oh I am so desirable :)
But my lifespan is too short; whether someone gets me or not I will die soon.
And I even know when I will die.

My Favorite tagline


Personal Advice

Do try to get me but don’t waste your life for me, coz I have multiple lives.
I will be born again with renewed strength and you will be the same, even more exhausted.

But what the heck I enjoy my life you too do :)

This is me – TARGET, and all the best catching up with me!


  1. Anonymous4:24 PM

    u should be sued for copying all the content on this one!
    that too from an email forward from IT ppl???

  2. really.. please check the mail Mr. Sharma.. u wil realize the content!! n please forward it to me too!! n IT!! well, what targets would IT use??

  3. Very Nice....I am waiting to see the BRAT's name on book covers soon.. kab shuru karoge kitaab?

  4. My main man BJ!(damn its been long since I've said that),

    To have followed your blog in anonymity all this while due to the sheer ignorance of how to "follow" you officially has been one hell of an experience for me my friend.

    Day 1 in college to Day [ {365(days) X 4(years)} - {X(bunking classes) + Y(sleeping in classes) + Z(staying over at the hostel)} ] - you've come a long way bro.

    Its been a pleasure reading your blog and hope that it will keep us all entertained for long time from now. Cheers !

  5. @ Praveen: soon dude.. soon!!

    @ Vamsi: Thank you so much dude. really touching!

  6. Anonymous2:55 PM

    thoroughly enjoyed readin this blog..amazing creativity..:))...

  7. @ Sanjana: thank you so much!!!