Monday, August 23, 2010

Akele hai.. to kya ghum hai??

Okay, I accept I have been single for pretty much too long now, and there is this sense of duty, that I should write something about it.
Along with a score of other problems in life, and the many diseases in india, there is a very recent ( or was it there since ages?) one which has been inflicting young just passed B-school grads. It is called LOO.
No, it is not the disease of going to the loo again and again. That particular disease is called by some other sophisticated name, and will hit all the above TG surely but probably after the age of 40. The LOO that I am talking about is “Lack of opportunity”
This is due to the fact that the two years in campus puts in so much pressure and so much expectations, that you start feeling like God, and ignore the more important lesser things in life like Love. So you start ignoring your girl ( it is a very male centric post!), who was very much responsible for you being in the B-School in the first place. Don’t worry I would not be ranting about why one should not do this. There is simply no remedy.
This new disease affects primarily those who say yes to one or more of the written things( these are the symptoms):
  • A decent pay package and a big brand name behind them conditions them to think they are the most eligible singles existing on this planet and re-ignition of old flames will happen soon (statistics say 98% B-schoolers try and woo their old connections once they reach a self satisfying stature, financially). F%^#$er, forgot the way you treated her when she was all wooed by you.
  • You think its no time for flings because you are 25-26-27 and its time for shaadi.
  • Work has put you in Indore, Raipur, Bhopal, HUBLI where you can find no one who matches you ‘mental frequency’, and you spend the day matching waves with the wholesaler to sell one more box of candies!
What everyone fails to realize is how most of their batch mates would be feeling the same way. (Others just got married!)
Now what do such sick people do?? 

Arranged Marriage!!

Yes, the very institution that they were so against, now becomes the only resort. They are so bored of staying alone, earning decent money, having everything that money can buy but having nothing to spend on, that they surrender. The worst part is that that they don’t realize that they are desperate. It happens.. it happens when you’ve been single for too long.
This arranged marriage thingie takes some time to be executed, partly because the guy is still living in a small tinge of hope, and majorly because.. “ arrey yaar, aajkal acchi ladkiyan kahan milti hai!!”.
So, during this wait, as a medicine to this disease, you do the following.
  • Get drunk and bask in glory of those days when your (X) girl friend got jealous when you spoke to a firang who came to visit the campus for a few days as a part of exchange.
  • You still frequent the orkut/ FB profiles of your EXs
  • You see them green on gtalk, you think for a split second, ‘should I , should I not start the conversation?’
  • You sit in a coffee shop without company, you order a drink( has to be Black coffee, after love Aaj kal!) and start calling your friends.
  • You crib too much about work
  • You realize you haven’t refused a single party invitation in last 6 months (you definitely wanna get noticed, get hooked)
  • Before a train journey starts, you frantically hope that may someone interesting occupies the seat beside you. Check the chart outside the compartment for the required age and gender.
  • In a gathering you suddenly come up with the announcement, “I wanna go to the Himalayas, I need to spend some time with myself( or, I should just join a Buddhist camp and become a part time Monk, I need to discover my inner self.)”
  • Suddenly after reaching your hometown, you feel like a lost puppy coz no one else is single anymore!( you feel the same on FB too!!)
For all such people, who are now certified patients of LOO, i just have one thing to say.. "Akele hai.. to kya gum hai" ( paas mein Rum hai na!!!)
And as is in vogue, keep saying to anyone who asks the reason you are still single.. I HATE LUV STORY's


  1. Anonymous10:02 pm

    heyy it was fun readin dis 1 too..i lyk d way u write in real lyf eperiences..

  2. chittaranjan mishra4:27 pm

    So, Generalization is the name of your game! Enjoy the Hubly gals and rest assured your self fulfilling prophecy of no resonating frequency will come in full vigor of truth. Bottomline: fight for a transfer to a place where u can find KFC, everything else will follow :P

  3. @ Sanjana: :) Thanks

    @ Chitta: yeah dude. atleast KFC.. is all tht i ask for!!!

  4. Anonymous2:41 pm

    Good One!!!!
    Facts and Truth of Life...:)

  5. @ Anonymous: Thnx dude!

  6. fun reading! it ws like reading my own mind as i hd been cing d same he he he

  7. @ Tej: Thnx dude!!!

  8. Anonymous6:59 pm

    mast hai !

  9. Waah! After a very long time u came up with something that was readable... :)

    I get a feeling that instead of suffering from LOO, u would soon fall prey to Arranged Marriage...
    @Chitta KFC or not, Brat will still be miserable :P

  10. @ Puneet: thnx dude.. i guess so too, looking at the alarming rate of calamities happening around!!!

  11. Anonymous3:20 pm

    Nice read bharat.... and can totally relate... am one of the "TG" ;)

  12. @ Siddharth: Thnx dude.. :)